Good morning
But is it really?

Alt: I'm gonna shit you in the cock you wee-wee tapir! You bum-dachshund! !!!

Altalt: which song or song title best describes you? Or another b3tan.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 7:57, 130 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I for one am having an excellent morning so far.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 7:58, Reply)

Im pleesd 4 u hun xx

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 7:59, Reply)

Thx luv

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:06, Reply)

Morning Monty, Morning Battered, Morring Knobs.
I, for the first time in ages, have awoken in a good mood.

Take that you spunky pygmy hippos!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:01, Reply)

alt alt:
The Laughing Gnome: Battered.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:03, Reply)

Fuck off, cunt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:03, Reply)

Alt: lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:05, Reply)

Altalt: The Intense Humming of Evil

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:16, Reply)

Bad guts today eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:33, Reply)

You can say that again, Monts
Alright?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:36, Reply)

Am I bollocks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:36, Reply)

That doesn't sound good
Physical? Mental? Spiritual? Some kind of introspectively horrific combination of the three?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:49, Reply)

Mid-life crisis innit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Ah
A Porsche Boxter and pony tail for table 3.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:51, Reply)

He's surely much more than mid-way through his life now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:52, Reply)

I really am.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:00, Reply)

altalt: currently Black Sabbath's 'Killing Yourself to Live'
I'm not looking after myself
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:05, Reply)

HEY LOOK EVERYONE, IT'S ROBS CANDLEDAY.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:08, Reply)

Who's Rob?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:12, Reply)

Chompy's dad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:38, Reply)

Which one's Chompy again? Is he the one that deleted his account and killed himself a few days ago?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:41, Reply)

He fucked his sister in a yurt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Oh, *that* guy.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:50, Reply)

To celebrate Imma gaz him
and ask him how it feels, as author of the 'how do I fucking swear' section of the faqs, to be personally responsible for the most pathetic thing on the entire internet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:14, Reply)

I hope his wife does something nice for hi...
Oh.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:19, Reply)

He'll need all those candles for warmth and light, seeing as how he now lives in his shed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:30, Reply)

We could pimp him out to Swipe.
His winky clearly works, as he's got kids, so that'd a)save her from dying alone b) fulfill her 'hook up with a loser' requirements and c) mean that we'd be doing our bit to preserve an endangered species, ie the gingers.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:34, Reply)

Everyone wins.
Apart from everyone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:36, Reply)

If you cross a ginger with a ginger, do they always produce gingers?
I think we need to know this before we allow the Rob/Swipey mating.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:38, Reply)

I dimly remember some shit from school about breeding rabbits but not enough to be of any use here.
So I'm going to say 'highly probable but not guaranteed'.

My father grew a beard once, it was black. He grew one on holiday 20 years later and it was fucking ginger. How does that work?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:40, Reply)

And what's the deal with airline food?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:44, Reply)

What's the point of wasps? They're like, so random.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:45, Reply)

I think I was away for this
did the Ginger Fuhrer split up with his wife?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:19, Reply)

All the top chaps are doing it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Altalt: Frank Zappa - The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:08, Reply)

you're a pretentious smartarse Jew prick?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:09, Reply)

Did you watch my ancestors getting slaughtered in FULL COLORVISION yesterday?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:11, Reply)

Simon Schama's voice is so gay as to render all his programmes unwatchable

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:19, Reply)

True enough. I am not watching that, because it's probably just about persecution, which is dull. Get over it Jews!
I was referring to your favourite Hitler programme.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:23, Reply)

Yeah FFS Simon Wiesenthel, get over it.
Oh yeah I did watch part two, my only complaint is that there are only two parts. Exemplary television.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Move on,Tuviah Friedman, get on with your life!
Oh.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:37, Reply)

KEEP THE NOISE DOWN ANNE FRANK, FFS.
No-one wants to hear your drumming.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:38, Reply)

LOL! Clickin' dis

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:40, Reply)

I woke up in an OK mood but it's gradually gone downhill from there
Today is clearly going to be a day when people queue up just to piss me off.

altalt: Kroney - I Surrender - Rainbow

Monty - The Hippy Hippy Shake (for the mornings after)
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:29, Reply)

Mornin' all, and isn't it a fine and dandy morning!
Alt: Don't make me hurt you.
Altalt: Jollity farm - I think it sums us all up.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:30, Reply)

Morning. Looks like it's chief dog fingerer Robs betaday, we should send him a dog or something.
There's a Pearl Jam track called Dirty Frank, it's probably about our Frank.
But the song that best describes me is Young, gifted and Black.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Dirty Frank is about a serial killer who eats his victims

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:58, Reply)

so yes then ?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Yep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:03, Reply)

is it?
perfect then.
I thought it was to do with that stupid comic book character from chief beardy cunt Alan Moore
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:04, Reply)

It is better today
as I can walk correctly.

AltAlt:
Me - North Country Boy - Charlatans
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 8:57, Reply)

alright Monty?
I drank quite a bit of wine last night and played online poker. Being drunk makes me unpredictable so it worked quite well, ended up winning about $140, whatever that is in real money.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:01, Reply)

That'll pay for a good few Emergency Rustlers eh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:02, Reply)

You knows it

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:04, Reply)

Making hangover misery a thing of the past.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:10, Reply)

thats about 25 quid.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:06, Reply)

That's a life changing amount of money.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:06, Reply)

life pant
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:07, Reply)

One pair of 'Calvin Kleins' please. That's right, to match these low slung jeans.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:09, Reply)

That would clear AA's debts in one go.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:08, Reply)

I think the morning probably is good
But it is let down somewhat by the convention of having to go out to work to earn money in order to live, for some of us at least, I know Rory gets a massive boner at the thought of more work and more money.

Alt: Squirreltits to you, meconium-mallard.

Altalt: www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7hpYIM51QI
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Still cheer up, your working day will be over in a couple of hours.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:09, Reply)

I'm just going to have a bit of lunch now, then I'll get off home.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:10, Reply)

I fucking love money.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:11, Reply)

I find it fairly useful when it comes to acquiring goods and/or services.
But it's not the be all and end all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:12, Reply)

I agree to an extent.
But having had *some* money, then *no* money, I appreciate how much better life is with it.
I hope to get more soon.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Oh sure, it really takes the sting out of being poor.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

When you're right you're right.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

fucking love
love fucking
+k, +s

To spare you the bother, it's 'I love fucking monkeys'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Sexy little primate bastards, fucking flaunting it.
+ Cheers for making that easy.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:19, Reply)

"massive" is all relative
i reckon 4 inches if the wind is right
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:28, Reply)

It's all relative.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Altalt: ME = I Am The Resurrection
MINCE = Swords of a Thousand Men
SPORTSCOW = The Size Of A Cow
SWIPE = I Cant Stand Up For Falling Down
CHOMPY = Bills, Bills, Bills
HH = DOUBLE A SIDE: Your Cheatin Heart/Brother, Can You Spare A Dime
'BILL CLAY' = Thats Not My Name
AA = Rollin'
TANGERS = We Are Detective
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:14, Reply)

^ Knows his oats

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

lol at "Bill Clay"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

superb work Reg, top notch

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Hearkens back to OTs heyday that

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

When was that then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

10.59 - 11.01, April 23rd, 2004.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Excellent work, particularly HH.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

GTA V arrived
just after I left this morning.

I'm so excited. Good thing I don't have any children or they'll be neglected! GUFF-AW!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:35, Reply)

-AW
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:36, Reply)

textbook

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:38, Reply)

so childish
so accurate
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Do you play GTA V mostly online or mostly offline?
/finger on the pulse of gaming, right here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)