Ghastly American business, pumpkin carving.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:09, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Garlic is too hard to carve properly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Fun for kids. Better than 'trick or treat' which is just begging.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Plus you can dry and roast the seeds

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Plus you can walk around and see the good ones people have spent time carving, and placing outside, their craft beautifully illuminated by candlelight
And kick the shit out of them.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Bangers + turnips = lols
as a kid
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)

we had mash and onion gravy as a kid
you poor northern bugger
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:23, Reply)

But turnips

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Don't take offence, because your kid's alright as far as kids go.
I mean, she can't hold a proper conversation, but I expect that's her age rather than full-blown mental retardation, but I'm so bored with hearing about children.

It seems everybody I've grown up with is banging on and on about how kid A is doing this, or plastering FB with pictures and so on.

/general whinge.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)

I went through that phase. You'll feel differently when you become a parent.
In the meantime, tough shit. Put up with it or fuck off.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:16, Reply)

A fair and balanced summary

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:17, Reply)

I accept the non-bold part of this post as unfortunate fact.
The bold part, we'll see.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:18, Reply)

I couldn't agree more. As soon as people have kids that's the majority of their conversation.
Good luck to 'em, but it's pretty dull for those without small people.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:18, Reply)

It's the whinging I don't like. If you're fed up with having sleepless nights, which you knew would be a problem before you spawned
then you shouldn't have had them, should you? Plus making everybody look at photos of a kid that they don't really care about beyond being polite.

At the very least, I'll keep it off Facebook.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:22, Reply)

Not the whinging, obvs, I'll inflict that on everyone I can.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:23, Reply)

I find it amazing that on Facebook so many of my grownup friends have suddenly turned into babies
One day, picture of their face, next day, some child. Must be a youth treatment.
( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Probably the same ones who would ask other people to remove pics with their kids in the background.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:38, Reply)

do you want to hear about my kids?
I can tell you about my kids
( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:18, Reply)

STAY ABOUT FROM MY KIDS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:19, Reply)

I would Theo. Please continue.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:19, Reply)

I don't have any kids
But I'm impressed you thought I was in any way capable of convincing a girl to let me put my winkie in her foo foo
( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:20, Reply)

If I can become a father then anyone can.
Apart from Gonz or Chompy obvs.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:21, Reply)

One of them's gonna have to go to Thailand, have the chop

( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:23, Reply)

I think your friends are probably pricks.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:22, Reply)

I've got four members of one kid's family on my FB
The father, the mother, the aunt and uncle. All four relentlessly spam it with pictures of what is, quite genuinely, the hairiest fucking baby I've ever seen in my life.

All the responses are all cooing over a great head of hair and all I can think is "that kid is at least half Yeti".
( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:25, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:26, Reply)

The dad complained that one photo didn't get enough likes saying
"How is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen?"

I thought "We'll see how cute you think it is when the next full moon comes round and your baby girl bites your fucking arm off".
( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:32, Reply)

I might not be a naturally paternal man, is what I'm saying.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:33, Reply)

you'll still fuck it when it turns 16

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:37, Reply)

By that point, this kid will have a beard to rival Brian Blessed's

( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:38, Reply)

MUFF
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:39, Reply)

You know you can filter what shows in your news feed?
What am I saying? If I know this, you must know this.
Hide breeders, stop moaning.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:28, Reply)

Or, you know
STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY AND "AL" THEM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Why should I?
Elsewhere on the internet spammers get banned by the admins.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:30, Reply)

This is an excellent point!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:39, Reply)

Just reply to anything baby related with NOT RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS
or tell them you're a paedo, that'll stop it
( Theoban What of it, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:41, Reply)

Maybe I'll just post UNSUBSCRIBE under them all.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Originally Celtic, I believe - from the Oirish Jack O'Lanterns, no?
Likewise Trick Or Treat is from the Scots habit of "Guising".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Sep 2013, 14:24, Reply)