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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fucking hell the 'Hairy Bikers' are a pair of wankers.
Your views on the best & worst chefs?

No points for Ainsley. The cunt.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:30, 108 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Anything that reggae reggae cunt Levi Roots appears on pretending to be a chef when all he did was make a shit sauce and sing a shit song winds me up.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:32, Reply)
He is a twat.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:35, Reply)
That fat-lipped, slobbering sell-out cockney prick, you know the one ...
Gary Rhodes, that's it
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:35, Reply)
And when I say sell-out, I mean aligning himself with and endorsing one particular supermarket for all his 'fresh' ingredients,
even though everything they sell is either GM or smashed to shit by the time you buy it
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:36, Reply)
'The secret is not to prick them' he once said on an advert.
You're a prick Gary, and it's not a secret.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:38, Reply)
Heston is a fucking popping candy cunt too.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:39, Reply)
Not sure I agree. He does do some excellent dishes; steak with a marrowbone gravy for example.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:45, Reply)
Some of what he does I like, but he's constantly trying to out do his own wakkiness.
And popping candy is ballsack.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:48, Reply)
POPPING CANDY IS BALLSACK

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:50, Reply)
That's right mofo.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:51, Reply)
Your mum loves my ballsack.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:51, Reply)
+tickling her flaps

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:56, Reply)

Lloyd Grossman is a fat headed shit stick cunt face.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:53, Reply)
Of course. He's not a chef though.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:54, Reply)
Who makes "his" fucking sauces then?
What a fraud
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:55, Reply)
It's a licensing deal with Premier Foods.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:55, Reply)
*boycotts*

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:56, Reply)
Do I watch a documentary about WW1 artillery or risk seeing if grand designs is not some cunt architect or fucking hippy.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:57, Reply)
WW1

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:58, Reply)
WW1 deffo.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:58, Reply)
Oh, it's a shit channel 5 nonsense,
I've given up and gone for storage hunters.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:05, Reply)
You're not a fucking chef.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:57, Reply)
I've never claimed to be.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:59, Reply)
I have no issues with what they cook
But their faux hilarity does grate somewhat. Same with Jamie Oliver.

Delia is fucking shit

I'm off to buy wine now
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:54, Reply)
Not a chef but he's on that Sunday cooking thing, Tim fucking lovejoy
I think I hate him more than anyone. What a self aggrandising arrogant look at me piece of sloppy shite that cunt is.

No offence to Ian Mcshane.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:57, Reply)
Who?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:57, Reply)
If you don't know, you are a lucky lucky Pigface.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 19:58, Reply)
I spent most Saturday mornings at work until recently, and if not, I was either completely comatose or out with the dogs.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:01, Reply)
You have been blessed, truss.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:02, Reply)
Fuck this frog, I might start drinking spirits.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:12, Reply)
You must do what you feel is right.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:14, Reply)
whisky is your friend
I realise that being a ginger, 'friends' are hard to come by. But whisky works innit.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:19, Reply)
Why have you started acting the prick?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:21, Reply)
soz nigga
You always mean to me so I was preemptively mean back.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:24, Reply)
Am I?
Soz.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:25, Reply)
yer
No love lost tho xx
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:26, Reply)
Cool.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:27, Reply)
innit bruv xx

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:29, Reply)
The difference is, you deserve it because you are a loathsome worm of a man.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:26, Reply)
*votes frog*

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:26, Reply)
shit the fuck off
Have you heard Savages? They are ace.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:27, Reply)
No, what kind of thing are they?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:27, Reply)
Post punk.
All women. They sound a bit like Joy Division with Siouxsie on vocals.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:29, Reply)
Women? Doing music? Get fucked.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:31, Reply)
*votes frog*

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:34, Reply)
se'sly yo, Husbands is supoib

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:34, Reply)
I will have a look in a bit and let you know whether I think it's appropriate music for you to listen to,
Or if I think it will exacerbate your excessive anger and personality flaws.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:36, Reply)
whit fucken flaws like
Ye dippit wee fucken cunt
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:38, Reply)
The ones that make you funny and a bit weird.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:43, Reply)
Seen them twice this year
We were so blown away by the first time we had to do it again.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 21:30, Reply)
Blumenthal is, in spite of the tv shitness, fucking superb.
I would sex Nigella in every possible way, from every possible angle, in every possible position, while making her wear camouflage stockings and clear heels. While tied up and gagged with her own hot pink lingerie.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:04, Reply)
tggi^

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:05, Reply)
it's the camouflage, right?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:06, Reply)
Mirrors on the ceiling?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:07, Reply)
you fucking bet

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:08, Reply)
Alright Matthew fucking Kelly

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:11, Reply)
shit the fuck off
You tolerated and expendable prick.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:20, Reply)
Someone's got stars in their fucking eyes
And a string of sex crime allegations.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:21, Reply)
I wish you had steak knives in your eyes xx

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:25, Reply)
But have I just had steak before this incident?
THIS IS IMPORTANT
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:28, Reply)
no.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:29, Reply)
Then I DONT want this to happen, thanks.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:30, Reply)
TV cooking shows are pants
hairy bikers are kind of bless and a bit entertaining (when I watched them last some years ago) and Heston makes mental things (which makes it more like watching a mad artist than a cook)

Other than that they can fuck off. I don't want to watch anyone cooking unless they are cooking me a bacon sandwich
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:08, Reply)
Do you like The Little Chef?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:17, Reply)
Happy Eater was better.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:18, Reply)
happy easter

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:23, Reply)
Easter eggs out already are they?
Gets earlier every year.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:24, Reply)
you can get them with mince pie filling

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:25, Reply)
I wonder how many of /ot will be miserable Christmas curmudgeons

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:26, Reply)
I like Christmas a bit.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:27, Reply)
I like it a lot.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:27, Reply)
I like buying people presents, it's nice innit. And lots of boozing and being all 'matey' with cunts you normally hate.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:30, Reply)
I like having got people presents
but I hate shopping. Also I stress about whether they'd like the thing I got them
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:31, Reply)
As if you go 'outside' to shop!
I get everything from amazon.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:32, Reply)
Ha, you're a mental.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:33, Reply)
damn right

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:33, Reply)
Glenfarclas is my xmas whisky

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:27, Reply)
me, I fucking hate it
massive consumer nonsense, one disappointing and boring day, bloaty feeling of too much food, then January
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:31, Reply)
January is an excellent month.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:31, Reply)
why??!

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:35, Reply)
Birthday month innit.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:39, Reply)
You're doing it wrong.
It's a nice day to hand out with my dad and brother, drink some good wine and chill out. No chance of work calling, no chance of having to go out, no stress. Cook a bit of dinner and sit down.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:32, Reply)
nah
grumpy people and grouchiness. Last year I went on holiday, it was better
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:34, Reply)
You have a shit family and shit friends.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:35, Reply)
then don't be such a fat fucken bitch.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:33, Reply)
You're being nasty again. We've talked about this sort of behaviour, haven't we?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:34, Reply)
you love dat shit yo

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:36, Reply)
I prefer it when you lull people into a false sense of security then turn on them.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:41, Reply)
I NEVER do that.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:44, Reply)
Nooooooo

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:47, Reply)
prove dat shit yo

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:48, Reply)
I can't be bothered to be honest.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:55, Reply)
nowt else to do

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:35, Reply)
big chef little chef

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:37, Reply)
Rachel Allen.
I've just seen an advert of her and I hate her unconditionally.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:29, Reply)
She is an ocean going twat.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:35, Reply)
I've found a show about Irish traffic cops.

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:36, Reply)

Na, she just smells of the sea. Difficult not to, when you're gutting haddock and shucking oysters all day. A dicht wi' a soap-laden clout would help, like.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:54, Reply)
she is a fuckin gyppo shitcunt

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:36, Reply)
How you feeling?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:37, Reply)
haggard and drug addled is my guess

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:40, Reply)

Rory's a she?
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 20:55, Reply)
Apparently I was at school with one of the hairy bikers
The one with glasses. He'd have been two years ahead of me. Can't remember him at all.
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 21:26, Reply)
Aright benders, I have cider and only 1 more sleep till holipopaldoodles!!

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 21:52, Reply)
You're going on hobliblobs with Stunned?

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 21:56, Reply)
Don't touch his drugs

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
Or his foot.
Might be contagious
(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 22:00, Reply)
New thread

(, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 22:13, Reply)

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