Right you load of slackers
Time for a BBC link give me your best headline for this story

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-24429831

alt: his place has gone downhill in the last 3 weeks, I blame YOU, YES YOU......Why is it not your fault?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 15:53, 50 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hartleys Jam news link?
Y'know, pleb jam: www.hartleysfruit.co.uk/range/hartleys-best-jam/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 15:54, Reply)

niiice
I managed not to die on my bike on Sat, well proud.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:10, Reply)

Glad to hear it!
Edit: any adjustments needed? I got the tools and the time!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:13, Reply)

Nah, perfect ta.
Just need to get a bit more MAJOR LONDON ROAD confidence really. Old St roundabout shat me right up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:15, Reply)

This isn't going to sound helpful
but the truly big ones don't get much better! I avoid Old St every day. I like it less than E&C.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:21, Reply)

E&C is a well known death trap right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:26, Reply)

Don't go out
Himjim's about!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 17:02, Reply)

A12 in Essex closed by fruit lorry crash.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 15:58, Reply)

*Scowls*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:02, Reply)

well shizz, ill take the rap for this HH
never let it be said that im the kinda count that'll not take one for the team
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 15:59, Reply)

A likely story........NOW FESS UP

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:03, Reply)

Traffic Jam

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:01, Reply)

The Only Way Is Robinsons

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:07, Reply)

Golly good

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:08, Reply)

You've been tangoed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:10, Reply)

Ethex traffic taketh the pith

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:13, Reply)

Very good

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:14, Reply)

Citrus hit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:17, Reply)

hang on a minute Dara O'Hare
whats this flucken 'make up a headline' shizz eh? your in no position to be casting stones of any kind sunshine
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:02, Reply)

How is your breakdown coming along, Harters?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:03, Reply)

Not to bad thanks TuiB
I'm not sure what order to go through it though
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:05, Reply)

Have you done a massive drunken rant on here yet?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:05, Reply)

What is that an option?
why does no one tell me these things, I looked at FAQ's and there is no indication on how to proceed with a full on melt down on here.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:07, Reply)

1. Drunken rant
2. Shameful hungover apologies
3. Drunken rant 2
4. Post gaz contents
5. Call everyone cunts
6. ??
7. Profit
8. DYAAKY
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:12, Reply)

Can I just skip to No 5 you cunt?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:13, Reply)

Of course

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:13, Reply)

As long as you detail precisely why each person is a cunt.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:20, Reply)

Well I know I am but what about you?!
No, wait, the other one....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:22, Reply)

Orange Crush

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:05, Reply)

^ better ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:06, Reply)

Drivers warned of potential banana skin on the A12.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:08, Reply)

'Lorry driver tells us about his fruit woes'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:09, Reply)

oh god
officelol
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:10, Reply)

haha as soon as I posted this I thought of "fruit woes"

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:10, Reply)

alt: it IS my fault, for not posting as much.
Soz gaylords.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:10, Reply)

cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:10, Reply)

speaking, how may I help you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:13, Reply)

A cup of coffee wouldn't go amiss

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:15, Reply)

Sorry, you are through to the voicemail of cunt.
Please leave a message, you FUCKEN TAPIR
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:16, Reply)

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:16, Reply)

squash

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:14, Reply)

Really put a lot of effort into this dincha eh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:15, Reply)

Fucking lazy shite, isn't she?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:17, Reply)

I'm tutting and headshaking like a muthafucka.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:19, Reply)

I can't be bothered

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:19, Reply)

A 12 tonne lorry close the A12?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:30, Reply)

there's a WAY COOL thread up if you're interested mate

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:32, Reply)

I can't even squeeze out a Carmen Miranda/ gay lorry reference.
I reckon people are working/having breakdowns/uncaring

and we all need to MTFU. YEAH??!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:35, Reply)

News of Orange on the A12 brings out cast of TOWIE

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:50, Reply)

Crows told to fuck off as the A12 becomes too orangey for them.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 17:08, Reply)