I never got pocket money as a child
as a teenager, I noticed my friends did. quite a lot, in some spoiled cases. so I whinged. one day dad came home from work.

"fine, let's talk about it. how does £4 an hour sound?"

I was 15. and it was 1993. that was unbelievable wealth. but I smelled a rat. a great big fishy one. sure enough...

"if you want it, you'll work for me at the bank. answering the switchboard, filing etc." I didn't want. but it was that or nothing. so I did it every fucking Saturday and school holiday until I was 18...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:47, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

tl;dr rich spoilt girl gets saturday job for a reasonable wage.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:49, Reply)

but all my friends got pocket money for nothing. it wasn't FAIR.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:50, Reply)

In 1994 I was earing £3 an hour down the candy floss stall by the ghost train. EVERY SATURDAY AND TUESDAY EVENING
#ghettolyfe
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:53, Reply)

ghost town more like
or is the ghost train your sexless love life?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:54, Reply)

That was 1998

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:54, Reply)

Your jaw must have really ached a lot.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:54, Reply)

Are your terrible jokes a 'meme'? Or are you just a bit brain damaged?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:55, Reply)

All the memes on here are terrible jokes
Haven't you realised that yet?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:56, Reply)

I have no idea what's really going on.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:00, Reply)

You appear to have it pretty spot on most of the time

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Why thank you! It's unlike you to be so ni........waidaminute!
Mean.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:03, Reply)

Except with me, of course
I don't know where you've got this idea from that I am mean.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:08, Reply)

i preferred yurty wooster
change it back
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:09, Reply)

It kept confusing me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:10, Reply)

*makes druggy hand gesture*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:11, Reply)

What would that hand gesture actually look like?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:12, Reply)

pinch fingers pretend to smoke or summit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:16, Reply)

I have got in the habit of reading your replies to me as if they were posted with a genuine sneering cynicism.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:10, Reply)

Well yeah, but I'm lovely really

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:11, Reply)

I don't *actually* think you're mean.
Probably like most folk here you're secretly a decent bloke.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Alright, let's not go mad here, eh?
I know you're keen to make new friends and that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:20, Reply)

My winky feels funny.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:22, Reply)

This is perfectly normal.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:23, Reply)

PHEW!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:26, Reply)

you are correct

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:16, Reply)

something none of his girlfriends ever said to him in 1998

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Ha ha girlfriendS! Plural! AS IF

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:04, Reply)

left hand, right hand

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:08, Reply)

gyppo

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:02, Reply)

It's a static actually.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:04, Reply)

and you would have got away with it ....

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:04, Reply)

if you divide the value of the flat your dad bought you by the hours worked what would that be an hour?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:51, Reply)

that's maths I can't even do
also shush. this is a sad story of child abuse.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:51, Reply)

sometimes I'm too smart for my own good

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:58, Reply)

yep
that's definitely what it is.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:59, Reply)

sometimes I'm so clever I trip over my own IQ

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:03, Reply)

S-M-R-T!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcGQpjCztgA
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:04, Reply)

i have no sound at work

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Surely you recognise the clip without sound though?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:11, Reply)

I do not

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:13, Reply)

^ not S M R T ^
I mean S M A R
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:14, Reply)

I do love that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:11, Reply)

it's a pretty simple sum
value of flat when bought - X

number of hours worked in bank - Y

X/Y = hourly rate
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:05, Reply)

More simplification, she *is* a woman.
Well, now anyway.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:06, Reply)

this would explain the hint of a 5 o'clock shadow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 15:07, Reply)

I would hazard a guess at more than my recent ANNUAL PAY RISE

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 14:52, Reply)