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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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This made me lol, prove you're gay for asylum.
m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-24479812I had visions of something a bit more extreme at Customs or Border Police. Have you had any amusing experiences at customs? If not amusing negative?
Alt, I'm off for a run, do you bother with any sort of fitness regime or are you resigned to being a fat internet weebil? Early running is ace it sweats out the crap from the previous night.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 5:15,
86 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Bike.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 7:53,
Reply)
Stabilisers?
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 7:57,
Reply)
No.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 7:57,
Reply)
Oh FFS!
I left my glasses at Monty's and now I've lost my spare pair as well. I'm a fully fledged retard.
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Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:13,
Reply)
We know.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:15,
Reply)
He'll have traded them for drugs and magic beans.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:17,
Reply)
beans mushrooms
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:18,
Reply)
MInce'll be sitting at home wearing them now whilst looking at his hand and going 'whoah' whilst the other hand lazily teases one out to 'silver machine'
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:47,
Reply)
I sent them 1st class last night hun xx
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:50,
Reply)
Thats CEX's stock increased today !
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:42,
Reply)
I've worked at a few airports in my time. had to go airside at most of them to get to my Met enclosure
That means having to wear a Hi-Vis vest and that. At one I got given a Hi-Vis vest with SECURITY printed on it because it was the only spare one that the Air Trafficers could find. You wouldn't believe how many Jock women would offer me a quick gobble in exchange for "Getting my bag through on my way back without it being opened".
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:22,
Reply)
Stuj.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:24,
Reply)
'Ning The AWESOME Win Pug.
:D
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:11,
Reply)
I read this as 'I got given a HiV test'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:51,
Reply)
Well yeah The LOVELY Monters.
Them Porridge-Wogs is CRAWLING with diseases.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:02,
Reply)
That's Peru for you, the LOVELY stuj.
How is your penguin hareem?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:02,
Reply)
Missing me terribly The LOVELY Emm Bee.
I'm gonna have to organise a breakout for my ones imprisoned at London Zoo at this rate.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:12,
Reply)
You should come to the Edinburgh Zoo
they let them all out for a walk round the zoo once a day at 3pm.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:23,
Reply)
Yeah, the warders there put out a restraining order on me.
sadtimes.
:(
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:33,
Reply)
I like the train of thought that says....
"I'm flying a 100 ton machine filled with 250 people coming in at 100 mph..... oh shit, there's a guy in a High Vis vest, I'd better crash this than hit him".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:41,
Reply)
Well, yes Gonz.
Even pilots and hijackers and that know that I'm LOVELY.
:D
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 11 Oct 2013, 11:29,
Reply)
GOOD NEWS!
They've found dome long lost doctor who episodes!
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:24,
Reply)
who Frog
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:24,
Reply)
Less of a time lord, more of a gay lord amirite??!!111
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:26,
Reply)
lord prick
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:26,
Reply)
Morning frog.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:27,
Reply)
Hello mate, alright on this fine Friday morning?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:28,
Reply)
haha he doesn't want to talk to you...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:46,
Reply)
HE ALWAYS DOES THIS! IM FAST GOING OFF HIM YOU KNOW, ITS NOT LIKE HES GOT ANYTHING BETTER TO DO >:-(
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:48,
Reply)
Sorry frog, was having a spot of breakfast.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:51,
Reply)
Too late sunshine, you've embarrassed me for the last time!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:53,
Reply)
Fair well, sweet prince.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:57,
Reply)
Aw, how can I stay angry at you, eh? x
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:59,
Reply)
Dunno.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:01,
Reply)
is this what happens when you kiss a frog??!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:10,
Reply)
No. Shut up.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:17,
Reply)
Ask Kroney
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:18,
Reply)
no, I'm white and have a fairly posh speaking voice, so tend to get left alone at customs
I'm eating iced gems for breakfast,, does not bode well for Friday!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:39,
Reply)
You'll get fat. Are they like Midgst Gems?
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:41,
Reply)
depends if shes ever teabagged battered
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:44,
Reply)
yes. they have a whopping 99 calories a bag. arrrrrgh.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:46,
Reply)
Posh? Pish!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:44,
Reply)
if I'm coming through Brizzle airport, they think I'm the bloody queen!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:45,
Reply)
+ drag
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:48,
Reply)
I understand that she is now 'post-op'
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:48,
Reply)
Too posh to push.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:50,
Reply)
Big fat cocks
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:53,
Reply)
Is this your latest 'funny' thing?
(It reminds me of a 'Big Train' sketch)
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:53,
Reply)
I'm just giving voice to our collective desires.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:55,
Reply)
yes, I have 'sampled' it off of Big Train
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:59,
Reply)
the first series was pretty lol
I also liked Jam.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:01,
Reply)
Jam was ace, that Mark Heap(?) in both of them is pretty underrated IMO.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:02,
Reply)
I'm piecing together a holistic puzzle.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:03,
Reply)
Is that like a posh jigsaw?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
Thisch ish why I am only doing schoft cock porn now.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:03,
Reply)
syncronised cocks!
A harmony of knobs!
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
That's not proper humour! Proper humour uses real jokes played on real instruments
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:05,
Reply)
These whizzkids have taken all the skill out of it with their computers,Akai samplers and Roland 303's.
It lacks the warmth and feeling of 'proper' humour.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:09,
Reply)
hi Captain Placid!
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:24,
Reply)
Yes - I run each morning at 0600.
If the streets are empty, sometimes I like to pretend I'm a boxer.
Altalt: cheese - best of all the foodstuffs.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:54,
Reply)
Do you have "eye of the tiger" going through your head at the time?
This is important
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:01,
Reply)
Yeah, mildly amusing
But I suspect I've mentioned it before. I have a Line Tshirt that just says "I am a skier" on the front. Going through Xray at Schipol, a very, very large security guard stepped out of line, put his hand flat on my chest and said "Stop"
As I was quietly shitting myself he grinned, went "I.... am not. I am a DRINKER" then slapped me on the back so hard I nearly lost a vertebrae.
The Dutch. Good for a gag.
Alt. My fitness regime revolves around not breaking bones where possible
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 8:58,
Reply)
Haha yeah, this one time the passport control guy looked at my passport, then glanced back up at me and then back at my passport and I thought oh no he doesn't believe it's me and then he gave me my passport back and waved me through hahaha
Alt: Running is so undignified, but luckily I'm thin so I don't have to do it.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:02,
Reply)
LOL THIS HAPPENZ 2 ME EVRY TYME
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
Border police are WELL LOL
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:04,
Reply)
UH OH!!! DUSKY SKINNED FORRIN TYPE!!!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:05,
Reply)
Actually,
On the Eurostar to Brussels I may have stuck a large sticker acquired from a motorcyclists magazine over the text part of the details page of a friends passport. Leaving him with just his photo, and in black text on a yellow background, "Look at me - I'm shit"
All done while he was in the pisser without his knowledge.
Passport control guy at Brussels didn't even bat an eyelid.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:06,
Reply)
Typical lazy Flemish
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:09,
Reply)
He probably looked at the passport, looked back at Matt
and thought ... "fair enough. Seems accurate"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:12,
Reply)
No real names please.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:17,
Reply)
I'm pretty sure you don't know him.
and he's certainly not damaged enough to be on here.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:21,
Reply)
I was once on the Eurostar the Brussels.
It was alright.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:19,
Reply)
I flew to Italy on my birthday,
And the border guy in Italy wished me a happy birthday and gave me a nice stamp in my passport and a friendly smile.
I liked him. I will go back to Italy to visit him.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:18,
Reply)
You should've become penpals with him.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:19,
Reply)
penpals bumchums
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 9:20,
Reply)
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