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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Day 2 of my expedition to the north country
I awoke in 1973, the dense cloying fog pressed in at my window and the mournful sound of of a brass band floated through the dank trees. The plan for the day was try and make the local hall look presentable, but this task proved to e difficult, one cannot polish turd, so we merely rolled it in glitter and hoped for the best.

I have retired to my and room and locked the door, on my way in a local 'person' spoke to me in a local vernacular I couldn't understand, I smiled and backed away, I hope he doesn't come back...oh god what's that noise??
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 16:52, 62 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Oh boy?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:03, Reply)
poor weakling southerner
you just can't handle it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:05, Reply)
heathcliff
it's me, i'm cathy, i've come hooooooooooooome
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:07, Reply)
THAT'S WHO YOU REMINDED ME OF!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:08, Reply)
what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
emily bronte??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:27, Reply)
I think he means Kate Bush.
But he's got to be mistaken, she's a brunette.

You remind me more of Robert Smith.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:29, Reply)
yeah well
you remind me more of a gaping flapping arsehole, spiders legs waving happily in the breeze.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:30, Reply)
I do have a luxuriantly hirsute anus.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:32, Reply)
plait it or gtfo

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:33, Reply)
Kate Bush, you twerp.
Haha, bush.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:29, Reply)
I WAS JOKING
ha, perv.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:30, Reply)
Keep your pistol close at hand. They favour the taste of human flesh, I'll be bound.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:15, Reply)
it is delicious

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:20, Reply)
Is Birmingham north? That's about the most north I have been since birth.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:22, Reply)
no, southerners can have it

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:27, Reply)
I don't want it. I went there for a curry and a shag but I wouldn't go back.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:30, Reply)
They don't do that in curry houses down south.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:31, Reply)
it must have been a really crap shag
most men would crawl on broken glass to get their cocks wet.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:33, Reply)
Driving about 300 miles is about my limit.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:34, Reply)
yeah but why didn't you go back for more?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:35, Reply)
I bet you can guess in one attempt

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:37, Reply)
she said no?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:39, Reply)
you couldn't get it up?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:39, Reply)
you called her "mummy" ?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:39, Reply)
you called her "daddy" ?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:39, Reply)
you cried afterwards?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:39, Reply)
you whipped out your bent e-cig for that post-coital moment and she dumped you?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:40, Reply)
Why are you so obsessed with my super kewl 'vaping' apparatus?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:41, Reply)
stunned has one too

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:42, Reply)
He is also kewl and sexy. So I understand.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:42, Reply)
The answer I was looking for was 'dumped'.
Join us again next week for another edition of zzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:40, Reply)
any one of my answers would be better than this

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:41, Reply)
Well yeah but I SPEEK DA TROOF

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:42, Reply)
you can't be a real man
they all lie
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:45, Reply)
I'm not, because 'my cock doesn't work'

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:46, Reply)
so you keep saying
but i'm sure you'll find the right man one day
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:48, Reply)
I'm meeting one tonight.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:49, Reply)
strangle wanking doesn't count

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:49, Reply)
Oh well in that case I'm not. :(((((

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:50, Reply)
EXACTLY. There are curtained partitions for that pursuit.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:34, Reply)
fuck off it is

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:28, Reply)
Well I don't know do I? You couldn't get that much more south than me.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:31, Reply)

and by "south" you mean "celibate and mildly retarded" ?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:33, Reply)
Yes of course that's what I mean.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:35, Reply)
i thought so
i am learning to understand your garbled garbage
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:35, Reply)
It's the accent innit? I find it hard to understand Stunned Poster now he's all 'transatlantic'

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:37, Reply)
Trunk, hood, elevator etc.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:52, Reply)
Wait? What? Slow down son, you ain't in Kansas anymore.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:52, Reply)
I've driven to Inverness.
It was strange up there. They all had their faces in their chests, or one giant hopping foot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:31, Reply)
I don't know where that is. But i'd like to see these 'people' and attempt sex with one or more of them.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:36, Reply)
You must embrace the North.
It is more a state of mind than a place.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:25, Reply)
You're talking about North America aren't you?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:26, Reply)
Yes. But it's all the same isn't it?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:27, Reply)
lots of planets have a north

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:28, Reply)
Have you been to any other planets?
No? Well shush then.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:30, Reply)
you shush

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:32, Reply)
I am going for what the yanks call a "shower"
It' no bath but they seem to like them.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:33, Reply)
I thought I was on another planet but it turned out I was just really really mashed.
I *did* have a moment where I comprehended the universe, and the small speck of rock we live on, and understood it all. I really 'got it'. But then I forgot.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:33, Reply)
i was on a pretend other planet, too
but mostly I just got in a fight with mutants and freedom fighters/terrorists
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:34, Reply)
What? Continents? Dunno.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 17:29, Reply)
WELL IM OFF OUT FOR ME TEA NOW HAVE A NICE EVENING EVERYCUNT

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 18:11, Reply)

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