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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Happy Tuesday One and All!
I'm conscious that I'm up in advance of almost all of the other b3tans here!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 7:39, 185 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Some of us
are up and already at work.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 7:49, Reply)
awwww al
*nurses better*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 7:54, Reply)
Sometimes I think
It would be quite nice to be ill, sit around feeling sorry for myself drinking lots of hot ribena and watching films.
Then I remember that being ill is actually rubbish and I never seem to get just a cold, I always seem to catch the plague!
Are you still off work then?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:01, Reply)
Oh dear,
Well I do hope you feel better soon!
It can't be much fun.

Nothing's happend to him yet. He came down into my office yesterday and started trying to talk to me.
I just let my eyes cross a little bit and didn't say anything back so I'm sure he realises I have no interest in anything he has to say.

It looks like friday will be the day I find out if I still have my job...It's all just a bit blurgh here at the moment! If I find out he's fucked me over I'm going to gouge his eyeballs out with a rusty spoon and make him eat them :)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:09, Reply)
Morning
Hope you feel better soon Al.

A swift kicking and gouging of eyes seems to be in order if he has fucked you over Lusty.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:15, Reply)
becky
he has completely fucked me over.
I've gone above and beyond the call of duty here and now I'm just thinking what's the point? What's the point in just getting on with work, doing as you're asked, never being late, never having time off, being left alone in the office for 8 fucking hours with out being able to leave your desk for lunch/to make a cup of tea/have a wee when you're just going to get fucked over!
It frustrates me so much. some people are wankers :(

EDIT: Sorry if that sounded a bit melodramatic! I don't mean to be all woe is me. I'm just pissed off at working for a cockfaced weasel.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:20, Reply)
Dude
I'd be the same. Take off the busiest day between now and Friday and go cake shopping.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:25, Reply)
"cockfaced weasel"
sounds pretty conclusive.

Fuck him. Surely there's better money to be made temping anyway?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:26, Reply)
I've booked off some time in a few weeks
Which will fuck him over a bit as it clashes with a course he's going on.
It's only a small thing, but it makes his life that little bit harder so I'm happy :)

Talking of cake, I had peanut butter and jam cake last night. It were lully!

Edit: Ed, I'm on pretty good money and there was a whole thing about me moving departments, getting even more money and being trained up to be a manager. it's just all gone a bit balls up because of Wankface McShittyballs!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:28, Reply)
that sounds shitty wanderlust
but it has led to some good insults. Wankface McShittyballs indeed!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:40, Reply)
So then
fuck him over now and take a 'personal day' or 'duvet day' or whatever they're calling them now tomorrow and refuse to answer your phone when he calls crying.

Edit: Mmm...Peanut butter and Jam cake sounds rather good.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:41, Reply)
I am happy in the knowledge
That I have friends, I'm not a complete nipple eyed, scrotum faced wanker and don't come into work in the morning stinking of booze.
Basically, I'm happy I'm me and not him.
And for the moment, that's enough to make me feel all smug.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:46, Reply)
Feeling smug ftw!
Nothing beats it.

Mornings all.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:48, Reply)
Smug is good
when it comes to being better than a cuntfucker like him.

I'm off to work, see you guys later x
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:51, Reply)
bye bye becky!
Ello PoD
How does this morning find you then?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:52, Reply)
This morning finds me still in bed
Not looking forward to starting work at 11.
And I'm reasonably tired.

Hopefully my boss will be in a better mood than she was yesterday. I got shouted at for asking her to do part of her job when she wanted to wander off and make up a rota.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 8:56, Reply)
Shouty bosses
are rubbish!
I really don't think there's a need to speak to people like that.
Hopefully today will be nicer :)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:00, Reply)
Hopefully it will
Although there is also someone working today who annoys me rather a lot. Great.

I'll just try to go in, do my thing, and leave without insulting him too much. Can't promise anything though.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:02, Reply)
Why can't work
Just have nice un-annoying people there?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:05, Reply)
I'm kind of lucky in that
the people at my work are all nice enough, but there are a couple of very annoying people here...

weather is uber shitty this morning down here. has anyone got some sun?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:07, Reply)
When I worked in a pub
I worked with some of the bestest people ever.
I'm still in touch with a lot of them.
I miss those days!

I work in a basement office so no idea what it's like outside :(
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:11, Reply)
Cloudy here
And looks like it's going to rain.

I might just ignore the annoying person and my boss, and talk to the other person.

I considered trying to get fired yesterday, and wondered what I would have to do to manage it.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:17, Reply)
PoD
it's always better to leave on your terms instead of theirs.

I'm sure there are plenty of ways to get fired if you really want to though!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:21, Reply)
weather
it's cloudy here with threat of typhoon :)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:22, Reply)
Are you back out east now Edmund?
I'm thinking of bringing my leaving date at the end of summer forward by a week, but kind of need the money unfortunately.

Shouldn't have bought that computer and that bike really.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:24, Reply)
Bloody hell!
Your all on the ball this morning.

Poor Al - still poorly : (

Poor Wanderlust - cunt him in the fuck, that's my opinion : )
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:25, Reply)
@PoD
Certainly am and hating it. Client=fcukwit.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:27, Reply)
Morning
I trust your night's activities have provided me with a decent wad of cash from you all?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:27, Reply)
@BGB
I might just do that!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:32, Reply)
Gid Moaning!
I apologise for the weather, everyone, it's because I've got tickets for Cricket that it's raining.

*collects weaponry*
*goes to lustys office*
*wreaks havok*

@Al - If you have a swollen gum, I'd recommend Corsodyl. It tastes a bit nasty but it's really good for sore mouths!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:47, Reply)
Thanks for the havoc wreaking DiT!
I'm pretty sure he's going to get what's coming to him.

Is it England Vs South Africa today or did I just make that up?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:55, Reply)
Right
I need to start my journey to work now.

Have a good day folks. Might reappear later on this evening.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 9:59, Reply)
Nah, it's Essex Eagles v Surrey Brown Caps
It's England v South Africa on Thursday. I've got tickets for the Sunday, but I'm not going.

Kevin Petersen? Do me a favour.

/cricket bore.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:03, Reply)
*slips into the warm place PoD left*
Ning my lovelies!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:04, Reply)
I live with cricket fanatics.
You'd think I'd know more about it.

Kevin Pietersen? Isn't he the skunk haired one?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:07, Reply)
good morning to all and sundry
how goes it?

*produces boxes of fresh cream cakes, because it's Tuesday*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Well, he was.
And he's also the new England Captain. Which is, in my view, a bad choice - but I hope I'm proved wrong.

EDIT: Ning HLT! Not seen you round here for a while! Alreet?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:14, Reply)
'lo Devil!
I'm fine and dandy thank you! how are you?

yes, KP - WTF?!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:17, Reply)
I'm very well, ta.
Except I really don't know what the selectors were thinking. That said, there's been a few dodgy choices recently (Darren Patterson, for e.g.)

I feel sorry for Vaughan, but he has been out of touch with the bat recently, so I can see why he's quit (to go back to county and regain form), but there must be better choices and more experience to captain the team? I might have plumped for Rob Key as a temporary captain (he's been incredible for Kent this year) and see how he proves himself as he's not played test cricket since 2005.

Heck, even Flintoff would've been a better choice. I have a feeling it's going to be Botham all over again.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:25, Reply)
Mornin
Morning All. How are we all today? Back to work after a glorious Bank holiday weekend. I went to the Zoo and saw the Baby elephant. (well i went to the enclosure, but was beaten back by small children and pushy parents. But The elephant and I knew that I'd been =)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:26, Reply)
weekirst
Baby elephants rock. I want one :(
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:28, Reply)
@al
the joys of daytime TV
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:39, Reply)
@Al
That's brilliant. Brilliant.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:39, Reply)
@Al
Wow! He sounds like a charmer!
She's a lucky girl that one.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:40, Reply)
ah, daytime telly
jeremy kyle is one of my guilty pleasures.

*shames*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:40, Reply)
HLT
nooooooooo.
Jeremy Kyle is a twunt!

Edit @al..I wonder what gave her that idea?!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:41, Reply)
I do wonder
how we let the population procreate with such lack of intelligence.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:44, Reply)
@ wanderlust
I know, but his show makes me feel sooooo much better about myself when I'm feeling blue!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:49, Reply)
has anyone seen
Maury Povich?

Quite possibly more of a cunt than JK!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:50, Reply)
During this period of unemployment
I too have reverted to stereotype and have been enjoying the Kyle.
The thing is that on BBC is Escape to the Country which in essence 'watch some people with lots of money and fabulous jobs buy houses that you couldn't afford in 100 years, (even though you were born and brought up in the countryside and have more right to live there than these London fucktards who don't even know the difference between a duck and a chicken)'. Or teh Kyle where you can stare and point at the chavs and end up feeling better about your own life.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:52, Reply)
I have to say
that Jeremy Kyle (when I get to see it) is a particulr favourite of mine.

For those of you that have never seen it, I shall recreate an episode here:

Jeremy Kyle: So what's your story?
Chav Man: I *bleep* dunno *bleep*, innit.
JK: SHUT UP! GET A JOB!
CM: *bleep* *bleep*
Chav Mans Wife: 'E's always smokin' *bleep* dope.
JK: YOU CAN SHUT UP TOO YOU VILE SCUM!
CMW: He *bleep* hits me!
JK: I'M GONNA HIT YOU TOO YOU DAMP CAMEL FANNY!
CM: I'll *bleep* take a *bleep* lie test!
JK: FUCKING RIGHT YOU WILL, I'M SICK OF THE SIGHT OF YOU. YOU MAKE ME SICK! YOU MAKE ALL OF US SICK!
Chav Mans Mother In Law: I'm the *bleep* baby's *bleep* Mum, you *bleep*
JK: WHAT? YOU PERVERTS! YOU SHOULD BE LOCKED UP!
CM: I dunno what *bleep* DNA is, but I wanna *bleep* test it.
JK: THE DNA SHOWS YOU'RE ALL SCUM. FUCK OFF BACK TO YOUR DANK LITTLE HOLES!

*turns to camera*

JK: I hope you've enjoyed the show, and if you have learning difficulties and want to air your dirty laundry on TV, why not give me a call?

~~~

I won't tell how I once appeared on 'Vanessa'
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:53, Reply)
I've seen Maury
and Dr Phil, and Montel.

All equally cheesy.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:54, Reply)
DiT
tell us about how you appeared on Vanessa!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Dr Phil is amazing!!
The fact that he has no hair but a moustache makes my lady bits feel all tingly.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 10:58, Reply)
@al
I hate it when I get those two mixed up!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:16, Reply)
The Strangest Day of My Life
Or - The Time I was on the Vanessa Show.

The college that I went to had a lot of links with Anglia Television. So, we'd occasionally get filler tickets to go and see shows being recorded.

One day, we got a job lot of tickets to go and see the Vanessa show being recorded, followed by a tour of the studios and a chance to play with cameras and mixing equipment.

So, off we toddled to Norwich, and as we were sat in the waiting area, a harrassed looking researcher came up to us.

"Hey," she said "you guys are from a performing arts course, right?"

"Right!" said we, revelling in the fact that she clearly recognised talent when she saw it.

"Great. The thing is, some of our guests haven't turned up, and we need some other people to fill in..."

The story was "You have to stop your womanising!"

My friend was the Womaniser (and was clearly not that kind of person), another was his girlfriend and another couple of girls (in the audience) were his conquests. I played the part of 'concerned friend', who dealt the revelation that he had an itchy willy.

It was well over an hour of desperate improvisation, each of us coming up with bigger and bigger revelations and dramas to talk about. At the end, Vanessa gave us all a hug and said thank you. She smelled a little like talcum powder and chips.

Trisha took over the next year.

So there we have it, folks. I was on Vanessa. And I faked it.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:18, Reply)
DiT
nice

one question though: did you reveal that your friend had the itchy willy, or that you did?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:20, Reply)
Good question:
I revealed that he had told me that he had a dose of the clap, and so did everyone else.

Just to clarify, I do not have an itchy willy.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:30, Reply)
@ al
I just can't help it! Facial hair makes me go all wobbly.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:39, Reply)
@wander
I'm mad for facial hair at the moment Jason Lee is so dreamy I could just spread him on a cracker!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Good morning one and all!
Howdy ho people, are we all good today?
I am feeling a million times better today AND I have 2 job interviews tomorrow AND I'm now insured on mr vp's car so I can drive again AND I'm going shopping later!
What a good day.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:43, Reply)
Jason Lee
is only attractive when he's all beardy.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:44, Reply)
Jason lee
Without a doubt!
(when i was a muchsmaller wee kirst I had my first crushe's on BJ from mash and tom sellack :) )
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:47, Reply)
mm
Yep Jason Lee with a beard - mmmmmmmm.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:49, Reply)
*sits back and strokes his beard*
yeah, beards rock

@Lucy: glad you are feeling good. interviews will go swimmingly I'm sure
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:52, Reply)
I've just found out that
he used to be a pro skateboarder.

And I totally would, although doesn't he have God via Scientology?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 11:52, Reply)
Thank you vipros!
In preparation I am learning some useful phrases in Italian for the first interview, and learning about Market Research for the second one. busy busy busy.
(and also fannying around on t'interweb)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:00, Reply)
Tom Selleck
Is a serious fittie Mcvittie.
He would get it.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:04, Reply)
Yo, LvP!
Check your gazzes! I have sent you something that may be helpful!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:07, Reply)
Tom
And I thought it was the only one with the odd beardyness prediliction :) I dunno why, possibly something to do with being an 80's kid or something...
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:08, Reply)
Yo DiT!
First of all - how exciting, Gaz fun.
Second of all - FANKS!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:09, Reply)
He's just so rugged.
Honestly, can you imagine him coming home after a hard day acting at being a lumberjack or a fireman?!
He'd be a little bit sweaty, quite dirty, so you'd have to put him in the shower.

Oh dear, I think I might have to have a cup of tea and calm down.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Wanderlust
Oooh, good imagery there. I'm enjoying that thought.
Cup of tea, good idea again! You're feeling very inspired today, congratulations!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:15, Reply)
Thanks Lucy
Although now I'm quite worried people may think I'm a bit odd.

Atleast I haven't revealed the fact that I have a serious thing for Alan Rickman!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:18, Reply)
Well...
He does have a lovely voice. For some reason I googled him once and he has quite some fans out there. especially since the whole Snape thing. it was quite disturbing from what i remember.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:26, Reply)
lots of women have a thing for alan rickman
you're safe there

I'm surprised by how many of you like facial hair.

not encountered that before, despite having plentiful beard and sideburns myself

my mrs took some persuading!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:26, Reply)
Sideburns
FTW

Edit: Not that I prefer them of course, my ladies should not have facial hair.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:28, Reply)
Only have time to say
Alan Rickman! YES! Definitely would.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:28, Reply)
Hurrah!
I'm happy to know I'm not alone in my appreciation of facial hair/Alan Rickman.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:34, Reply)
Gary Oldman
Is it wrong to like Gary Oldman a bit too?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:39, Reply)
Gary Oldman's alright
He's no Mr Rickman though!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:43, Reply)
Gary Oldman is a hottie
As is John Malkovich, Michael Madsen, and alan hansen.
That's right, i dig the older, less appreciated man.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:45, Reply)
Oddness
Ha ha ha! Its so wierd. None of my 'in real life' friends have ever admitted to the attraction to Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman or Hairy men. I think B3ta attracts a special kind of Lady folk :)
(Jason lee yes, but he is just indecribably kind of hot! Mmmmm)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:47, Reply)
@Lucy
The other two I can understand...But Alan Hansen?

He looks like he'd cry after!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:48, Reply)
Wanderlust
I know, I don't really want to admit that one, but he has such a lovely voice, and those green eyes. Even my mum admits that he's nice. I can't help it, I've always had dodgy taste in men.
Edit - Wanderlust - Now you've said he'd look like he'd cry after I'm not so sure. I prefer a man who looks like he would throw you around a bit if you asked him too. hmmm.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:50, Reply)
@lucy
I'm not to sure about Alan Hansen myself. He reminds me of the guy in hollyoaks that's just faked his on death...

and you're right about the throwing around thing. I could not be doing with a cryer at all... *shudders at the thought*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:52, Reply)
Weekirst
Oh no no no no no. Thats just wrong. I think I may almost certainly have gone off of him now.
Until the next Morrisons advert anyway/
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:55, Reply)
awwww poor Alan!
I bet he's just started crying for no reason now.
He can sense us.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:56, Reply)
Erm...
Are there any boys around? :)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 12:59, Reply)
Aah this is lovely
I never get to talk about my inappropriate crushes like this. Mr Van Pelt does know to be quiet when alan is on tv. But he fancies Sandra Bullock and she's about as sexual as a chair.
Edit - Sorry DiT - Grr, manly talk. cars, boobs, curry, women.
Is that better?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:00, Reply)
LvP
If you're into the older, less appreciated man, well, I'm right here!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:01, Reply)
Thanks LvP!
I was just feeling a bit outnumbered!

Mrs. Devil lurves Jason Lee. And Dave Grohl. And Jason Statham. And Ewan McGregor. And David Tennant. And Denzel Washington.

I think they're on her 'list'.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:07, Reply)
I'm here
Just observing the female conversation for research purposes.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:09, Reply)
I don't have a list
Although I know for a fact I'd be kicked out of bed so damn quickly if Miss Congeniality happened to walk past.
Oooh, I tell you who would be on my list though, Desmond from Lost. He's half peruvian half scottish so could speak to me either in Spanish or with a lovely scottish lilt.
And he's so fit he makes me dribble.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Ah-hem, moving on quickly...dammit, i can't think of anything to change the subject to!
Kittehs, I love kittehs, they are teh cute.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:10, Reply)
@LvP
Whilst I don't have any Peruvian in me (and I'm not called Desmond) I have been Lost before and I do have a Scots accent ;) ...?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:13, Reply)
@Edmund
Whack a poncho on and you'll do!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:14, Reply)
@LvP
Result!

Kilt as well?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:15, Reply)
Edmund
Just the poncho please.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:16, Reply)
Goes to bergan
*gets out poncho*

:)

Edit: Well that killed the conversation. Sorry guys.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:17, Reply)
list...
I don't even have a Mr Weekirst, but my list, Jason Lee, Dave Grohl, Johnny Depp, Hugh Fearnley Whiitingstall and (actually number 5 is interchangeable depending an all sorts :) )
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:24, Reply)
Lets start a new conversation
A) Can I have peoples opinion please? I don't know a lot about mens fashion but I don't like brown suits with blue shirts. Am I wrong or is this fashion wrong?
B) Does anybody watch House? I just can't believe Hugh Laurie with an American accent. It just doesn't work.
C) what are peoples favourite sweets?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:25, Reply)
Q&A - Answers
A) Can I have peoples opinion please? I don't know a lot about mens fashion but I don't like brown suits with blue shirts. Am I wrong or is this fashion wrong?

Fashion is terribly, terribly wrong

B) Does anybody watch House? I just can't believe Hugh Laurie with an American accent. It just doesn't work.

Don't believe it but the script's very funny.

C) what are peoples favourite sweets?

Jelly babies, midget gems, wine gums
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:29, Reply)
I like to think I've got style....
It would depend on the shade of brown and blue, but I'm having a hard time picturing a combo that goes together, so I'm with you there.

while I've heard House is good, I know that I wouldn't be able to stand his accent.

If we are talking sweets then sherbet lemons, or cola bottles. chocolate and it's got to be a toblerone. or dark mint stuff mmmm
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:30, Reply)
@ lucy
A) Agreed
B) Agreed
C) Haribo Starmix *edit: or Gummi Bears *nom*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:30, Reply)
Oh good.
I thought it was just me. phew. That includes blue trousers and brown shoes. yuk.
I'm alwayss pleased to talk about sweets.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:32, Reply)
From House
Dr. House: [to the crowd in the walk-in clinic's waiting area] Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
Dr. House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board (emphasized to sound like 'bored')...certified diagnostician with a double specialty in infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who is forced to be here against his will.
[House turns to face Dr. Cuddy.]
Dr. House: That is true, isn't it?
[He turns back to the crowd.]
Dr. House: But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine. You can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? [nobody moves] And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys?
[Everybody raises their hands.]
Dr. House: Okay. Well, I'll be in Exam Room One if you change your mind.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:35, Reply)
Sweets
So which would be your favourite if not wine gums or midget gems?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:36, Reply)
I like
Yellow Belly Snakes, dolly mixture, millions, oooh oooh ooh American Hard Gums!
This is like porn for me. Confectionary is my life.
Edit - Pink Shrimps, good call mrs liveinabin.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:38, Reply)
Well....
It depends on the shades of brown and blue. Chocolate brown and duck egg blue.

House: Watched it once, good story but I could only watch it if it was anyone else but Hugh Laurie. The man is Bertie Wooster.

Favourite sweets: pink shrimps and other things from the Woolies Pick and Mix.
we have another old fashioned sweet shop opening here soon. That makes three for a small market town.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:38, Reply)
@LvP
so keep up with the porn

what about sherbert lemons and cola bottles?

Edit: and are you the Queen JELLY Bean Ninja?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:40, Reply)
Lucy
how do you maintain such a svelte figure if confectionary is your life?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:41, Reply)
Well
Sherbert Lemons are my car sweet of choice. My nan used to always have fruit sherberts when I was little. mmmmm.
And I do like chocolate Limes but I haven't had any since I ate them whilst I was getting tattooed and i ate FAR too many.
Cola Bottles - I like the fizzy ones, they have to be the right texture though, not too soft, nice and chewy.
Edit - Vipros *blushes*. I'm not svelte exactly but I would rather be plump and with sweets than thin and miserable. Which is what I'd be without sweets.
As long as sweets aren't banana flavoured I will probably eat them.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:42, Reply)
you are a way from plump I'd say
woman-shaped is more appropriate :-)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:45, Reply)
Thanks
I've had ups and downs with my figure as with most people I'd say.
all this talk of sweets is making me seriously consider popping to Asda.
nom nom nom.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:47, Reply)
Vipros you horndog.
(true though)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:49, Reply)
Ancrenne
You do know the laces rule don't you? You have to tie them into as many knots as possible before eating. Or plait them. You can't just eat them. That would be a foolish waste.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:50, Reply)
Horndog?
not sure I've been called that before!

I'm just in a good mood, and so spreading the love.

also, credit where it's due, LvP is a hottie ;-)

edit: @ancrenne: did you, or any of the other b3tards take any pics when you were at my gig btw?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:51, Reply)
aaaw
Guys, you're making me blush!
Such love, tis immense. Thank you very much!
*offers round imaginary sweets (after taking the best ones for myself)*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:52, Reply)
Questions
A) Can I have peoples opinion please? I don't know a lot about mens fashion but I don't like brown suits with blue shirts. Am I wrong or is this fashion wrong?

Well, for me brown suits = ick. I'm a traditionalist here so it's either charcoal or navy for me. As for shirts, I've got a long body and short arms, so it's whatever I can get to fit. That normally means the ones I got made in Hong Kong which tend to be white, blue or light purple (it's not pink dammit!)

B) Does anybody watch House? I just can't believe Hugh Laurie with an American accent. It just doesn't work.

I watched precisely 2 minutes of House. I love Hugh Laurie, but the voice just goes right through me. Well done to him though - once he's finished with House, he'll never have to work again if he doesn't want to.

C) what are peoples favourite sweets?

Most things from hotel chocolat, wine gums, any sort of squidgy fruity thing, and mint imperials.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:53, Reply)
@ ancrenne
Can hear your Caw from here!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:55, Reply)
Aaaah laNces
If they have the fizzy coating then you ideally need to suck that off (fnar fnar) before eating them. Although a bird impression works just as well for me.
And I am so pleased with the fashion reassurance. Phew.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 13:55, Reply)
I'm getting one of these
www.mrsimmsoldesweetshoppe.com/

opening less than 5 minutes walk from my house.

Oh dear.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:03, Reply)
aaw al
My first ever shwing. i'll treasure that.
And i agree with pink shirts. I just don't like them. They don't do it for me.
Oh mrs liveinabin, how jealous am I of you being near a shop like that. i'd nom until i could nom no more.
nomalicious.
Ancrenne - I do try to be careful with the word suck but when it comes to sweets, no other word can describe it!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:10, Reply)
Just add my twopennyworth.
Taupe and and light blue looks nice : )

Sherbert dibdabs ftw.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:12, Reply)
millions
Remember those tiny little sweets. Covered in a hard coat but chewy and slightly sour in the middle? Used to get them inthe big old jars and see how many i could fit in my mouth at once. (I was a chubby little child )
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:16, Reply)
weekirst
You can still get them! they are delicious. I love the bubblegum ones.
Bye ancrenne!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:17, Reply)
For fuck's fucking sake
I've been too busy to chat on here today. WTF?
I missed the Alan Rickman thing - wanderlust, let's discuss this further on Friday.

Now, must eat lunch.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:18, Reply)
@lvp
Really? I never see them! Ever... Maybe i'm just not going into the right shops! (cue me finding them and putting on about 5 stone in a week! )
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:19, Reply)
Al
that would make your eyes water!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:19, Reply)
'Noon ancrenne!
Yep! It was a starring role! ;)

Here we are, LvP:

A) You may only wear a brown suit with a blue shirt if:

i) The suit is corduroy
ii) The shirt has GIANT collars
iii) You are a smooooth mutha fucka who lurves the pussy! (bonus points if you can spot the film reference, and I'm guessing you can).

B) I have been known, in past days, to watch House. And, to go against the grain, I like it. If anything, I like the fact that Hugh Laurie has carved out a very successful character that we Brits just would not expect. And his accent really isn't all that bad. Still, I would like it if Stephen Fry (or God, as he shall hereafter be termed) popped up and helped him solve mysteries!

C) My favourite sweet is a Black Jack. My favourite chocolate bar is a Kit Kat Chunky. But I'm not a big sweets person, I prefer crisps.

Here are some for you back:

A) Who would be your celebrity parents? (Mine would be Chuck Norris and Julie Walters. Stephen Fry (God) would be my Uncle.)

B) Would you rather visit another planet or the bottom of the ocean and why?

C) You're going to a desert island. You can only take a CD that contains 5 songs, and one toy. What would the songs be and what toy would you take?

EDIT: I have remembered my favourite sweet. When I was a kid, you could get spearmint flavoured chewy sweets that looked like the layered squares in liquorice allsorts, except the layers were green and white and the taste was super!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:19, Reply)
Black Jack = grim.
Jack Black = lovely.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:22, Reply)
DiT
Pacers are the sweet you mean.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:25, Reply)
DiT
I had a KitKat chunky today. Mr VP bought it for me yesterday to cheer me up cos I felt crap. it did indeed cheer me up. and crisps are my other weakness. and gin. mmmm.
Right...
A) Celebrity parents - good question. hmmm. I'd have to say Judi Dench as my mum and Bill Bailey as my dad. that'd be awesome.
B) Without a shadow of a doubt, the bottom of the ocean. Aquariums are my favourite places to visit ever. I love fish and watching them swim and I would love it so much. We're going on holiday to Cornwall next week and I have a sealife based activity planned for every day. oh yes.
C) It Must Be Love - Madness
My Lovers Prayer - Otis Redding
Ghostwriter - RJD2
The Rat - The Walkmen
His Majesty King Raam - Lemon Jelly.
As for the toy, does a rampant rabbit count?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:28, Reply)
Mrsliveinabin...
You. Are. Made. Of. Fucking. WIN!

Thank you! That's been bugging me for ages!

EDIT: I think it would count, but I don't know what sort of games you could play with it. And I'm sure it would get covered in sand fairly quickly...
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:28, Reply)
Clendrix
We shall have a major discussion about:
How hot he is in the Texas video.
How hot he is in perfume (even in a wig he would get it)
How much I want to be a pupil at Hogwarts and he makes me do detention in the dungeon.

I shall be quiet now.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:29, Reply)
This is a good website
for old fashioned sweet based goodness.

www.aquarterof.co.uk/
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:33, Reply)
Wanderlust
That Texas video makes my heart ache, it really does.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:33, Reply)
Clendrix
I feel the same!
I want to be in that car with him so much! When he kisses her head I go all funny!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:36, Reply)
wanderlust
*hugs bigly*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:37, Reply)
@ DiT
A) Who would be your celebrity parents?

Jimmy Carr & Catherine Zeta-Jones (although fancying your mum might raise problems (edit* unintended fnarr))

B) Would you rather visit another planet or the bottom of the ocean and why?

Ocean - The amount of, and types of life would be enough to always be new and exciting. (Space would be new and exciting, but take too long)

C) You're going to a desert island. You can only take a CD that contains 5 songs, and one toy. What would the songs be and what toy would you take?

Koochy - Armand Van Helden
Its My Life - Dr Alban
Caribbean Queen - Billy Ocean
Layla - Derek & The Dominoes
Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits

(I'm umming and arring about whether I should replace one of the above with Tom's Diner - DNA f. Suzanne Vega )

Toy: My Tonka Digger I had, was big enough to sit on, and could dig big holes with little effort.

(Now Al has mentioned Dave, might take Monkey (my teddy monkey) instead)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:41, Reply)
I tried to answer DiT's question about what songs to take
but there is no way I could choose.
So many songs mean a lot to me, and so many different types of music suit different moods.

But, I would rather go to another planet and I'd take a deck of cards to an island.
Celebrity parents would be Morgan Freeman and Tyra Banks. (she's so sassy)


Ohhh there is one song i'd take though.
I'm totally not down with Rob's alien by Minus the Bear.
That song makes me want to go swimming.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:53, Reply)
Righty ho people
I'm off to try and find a new outfit for one of my interviews tomorrow.
have a good day! enjoy the confectionary!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:54, Reply)
Good luck Lucy!
have fun, teh kittehs wish the same



(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:55, Reply)
I would like the one on the left please!
I shall call him Archimedes, Archie for short.





And together we shall RULE THE WORLD!or Leytonstone
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:13, Reply)
@DiT
1. Morgan Freeman and Whoopi Goldberg.

2. Visit another planet. I soooooo want to do this. (see previous posts about searching for aliens).

3. Lego starwars

4. Any 5 dance tracks. Stuck on a desert Island means party time : )
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:13, Reply)
I was just on kittenwars
But I had to stop as the cuteness got a bit much and my heart started to feel all puffy :(
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:27, Reply)
I have
Chocolate covered Pretzel Rods.

Had a few, still not sure about them
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:32, Reply)
@ethelred
I blooming love those! I could eat them all day (likewise chocolate spread and salted crisp sandwiches mmmm)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:35, Reply)
Say...
How would you like a chocolate-covered pretzel?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:37, Reply)
gross
good film, horrible imagery. not enough to put me off chocolate covered pretzels though...
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:47, Reply)
I've decided
that a sweet then salty taste in my mouth isn't FTW, I shall resign from eating them.

(don't try and double entendre).
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:49, Reply)
^Heh!
Catcha later folks, I'm off to the wilds of Chelmsford, Essex, to watch the mighty Essex play Cricket (if the rain ever stops).

Night all!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:55, Reply)
Bit dark
for cricket now?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:57, Reply)
ancrenne
it's the same with boots/supermarket own brand ibuprofen and paracetemol

you can shitloads on the cheap, or pay a fiver for a box of 8 and they have exactly the same ingredients in exactly the same proportions.

if people are willing to pay for that stuff then let them. they fall in the same category as the people who will only use the pump on the "right" side of their car at the petrol station.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:57, Reply)
Vipros
I only use the pump to the left of my car, as the petrol station I frequent only has short hoses (fnarr)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:58, Reply)
@Ethelred
they've started doing that in a few places, and with retractable hoses that don't reach far enough.

makes me want to ask the makers why they want to slow the turnaround of customers to the forecourt

mostly though it makes me want to turn green, burst my clothes through rapid muscle growth and smash everything within reach
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:00, Reply)
Floodlights are wonderful things...
However, rain is not!

And now... *away!*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:00, Reply)
@ Vip
Probably to save costs on hoses, with the current fuel prices and all.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:01, Reply)
@Al
I read the first paragraph and knew it was from him. Still, free speech and all that.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:11, Reply)
Ninja shop
I'm back! thank the lord for business parks.
Got everything i needed in less than an hour.
Super. AND i discovered that Asdas 3 for a quid range of sweets have some marvellous options. i'm currently chewing on some foamy mushrooms. delicious.
Edit - dit - leytonstone? right on my doorstep!
Ancrenne - how can you walk past the sweet shop? the shame.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:12, Reply)
*queues in front of LvP*
Please Ma'am, may you share?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:15, Reply)
ethelred
But of course good sire!
When I finally can get my ass to one of these ere bashes, I shall come laden down with sweeties so people know who I am.
Hell, I might even organise a confectionary swap style bash.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:17, Reply)
I admire his tenacity
but I have looked into some of the links he's posted and his main ones, the Menard guy's pages, are ridiculous.

I couldn't read that without thinking that the guy is an idiot and has no real basis for what he is doing. he's given up his "person" and therefore doesn't have to pay taxes, drive with a licence etc.

the only way I can see that happening in this day and age is on the sufferance of those in charge. if it were a realistic thing that many people could do then someone would have shut it the hell down by now. a cynical viewpoint, but an accurate one I'd say.

and where would we be if everyone did basically turn their back on society? we'd be screwed.

it's an immature dream propagated by tinfoil-hat-wearing crazies. The Goat admits he got sucked in to scientology, he obviously can't think things through too much...

@Al and Ancrenne: I don't want to get drawn in to a discussion with him either and he might end up being my first ignoree too
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:28, Reply)
@ ancrenne
nor do they in that case..
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:33, Reply)
indeed, look at a few of his old posts
I think he says he was being trained as an Auditor (whatever that is) before it was a religion, but still, he may as well be wearing a sign saying "Talk to me! I'll believe in your crazy bullshit!"
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:34, Reply)
bah
in spite of myself I've had to reply to his post...

good job it's nearly hometime!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:39, Reply)
@ ancrenne
I think that sounds darn tasty!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:50, Reply)
@ ac
the choc cakey goodness.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:53, Reply)
@ancrene
I'd probably add butter or copndensed milk in an effort to get it to set more, unless you hae a LOT of chocolate
(, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 16:54, Reply)

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