HR, BD, Marketing, IT don't make money... they tell everyone else how to spend it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:29, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

They don't 'make' money because they're not customer facing,
but they facilitate the bringing in of money by other departments.

Oil doesn't make my car run, but I know it wouldn't get very bloody far if I didn't have any in my engine at all.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:33, Reply)

they're nothing but a drain on valuable income and resources
a great big smelly DRAIN
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:34, Reply)

well, a lot of them smell, anyway

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:34, Reply)

So, just as a matter of interest,
how do you personally attract new clients to your firm? Standing outside with a sandwich board?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Considering how utterly, helplessly useless with computers she is
it's absolutely no stretch at all to say that she wouldn't have a job bringing in money if there wasn't an IT guy holding her hand and showing her how to make her emails look pretty.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:38, Reply)

er, no
I make money because I advise on the law and commercial solutions.

frequently I am prevented from turning this around in a timely fashion because the computer has broken. or the server has gone down. blah blah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Idiot, without those assets you'd be advising via fucking carrier pigeon.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:48, Reply)

yer yer yer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:51, Reply)

me personally?
existing contacts
referrals from existing clients/managing agents/surveyors etc
articles that I've written or cases I've acted on that have been in the press
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:43, Reply)

You can say to a mechanic "if it wasn't for the fact that I don't have the first idea how to top up my coolant, you wouldn't have a job"
but it wouldn't be any more true than saying to an IT bod "you wouldn't have a job if I could work out how to turn my monitor on".

Our jobs aren't dependant on spastics.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Yeah, your job isn't *just* looking after spastics,
but it's got to be a part of the spec, no?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:42, Reply)

I don't work for the training department, so no.
Doesn't stop them ringing.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Start working to rule.
Pass all their stupid enquiries to the head of that section.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:44, Reply)

I frequently tell people to go to the training department or try Google.
It's go me something of a, er, reputation.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:49, Reply)

Our department makes money via consultancy/services/hardware/software
We brought in almost £1 million quid last year
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:34, Reply)

ssssh
your facts have no place here amongst our grudges and prejudices
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:35, Reply)

sorry

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:37, Reply)