Ban them from public transport.
Who? Pensioners, that's who!

Went shopping in town today with my eldest. Would rather have pulled out my eyelashes individually, but "school stuff" must be purchased before the little blighters go back.

We got what we went for (as well as soaked 'cos it's pissing down!) and hopped on the bus to come home.

It was fairly busy but my daughter and I got a seat downstairs. We got three stops and the bus went from "fairly busy" to "packed to the roof". Two elderly women got on and we, being polite well-mannered young ladies (no, really!) stood up to give them the seat.

Did they thank us? Did they buggery fuck. No they did not.

One of them looked us up and down and sneered (and I mean sneered),

"I should think so too. We're entitled to these seats, you know. We're pensioners."

Now I don't know about where you guys live, but here in Edinburgh killing pensioners on the bus is rather frowned upon. So I didn't. I was sorely tempted, but I didn't. I turned the other cheek (actually, I exchanged raised eyebrows and rolled eyes with my daughter and said none of what was racing through my head). But she wasn't finished. Oh, no.

"My taxes paid for your education you know," she announced to me from the comfort of the nice warm seat I'd given her. More raised eyebrows between my daughter and I. Eyes were rolled (it's amazing how far they can roll on a moving bus!) but a dignified silence was maintained.

"I said, my taxes paid for your education, you know. In case you didn't hear me, since you didn't bother to respond," quoth the old bat in the see-through rain hat. To whom I was determined not to give the satisfaction of an answer.

My beloved, wonderful, intelligent and resourceful daughter then proved that she is, indeed, TheWeeWitch's progeny.

With a completely straight face, she announced,

"I'm very sorry madam, but I'm afraid we don't understand you." Only she said it in French. Which I can't spell. So I've typed it in English, which I can spell (mostly). A lady sitting behind them very kindly told the old ladies what my daughter had said, adding for good measure, "I think they're French."

The old bat's face was redder than a very very red thing. My daughter and I then had to stand all the way home, not saying a word, stifling our laughter, until the old buggers got off. At the stop before ours.

We're still chuckling now, some time later.

I am a very proud mummy, let me tell you.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 18:18, 20 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Go wee Wee Witch
I'd have just told the old bag that my taxes pay for her pension.

You'll be telling that story for years.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 18:22, Reply)

Real top stuff from twww
It's reasons like this that I want to properly learn a foreign language.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 19:08, Reply)

Amazing!
Give your daughter a *click* from me *grins*

At least you didn't take the same option as this man did:
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7542507.stm
( Cawl, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 19:09, Reply)

Kaol

If I'd had a weapon, I may have considered it. Which is why I'm not allowed pointy things outside the kitchen. MrWitch says so.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 19:15, Reply)

Weapons...
Busses...
ME?

*coughs*

Anyway... We're not talking about the time I went on an Edinburgh bus with a hammer in one hand and a saw in the other.
( Cawl, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 19:18, Reply)

Personally. I think I would have
turned around to face away from her, and let a Big Nasty rip right in her face.

Especially as she thought you were French.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 19:19, Reply)

Kaol, that's normal for certain services
around here! But for some reason you can't get on with a tin of paint!

Edit: TRL, gives a whole new meaning to "turning the other cheek" that suggestion!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 19:20, Reply)

I'm very sorry but I don't care how old people are.
If anyone is that rude then you should have cunted them in the fuck.....for definite.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 20:04, Reply)

Love it...
Sometimes the oldies can be just as selfish and downright chav-ish as the whipper snappers.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 6 Aug 2008, 20:34, Reply)

Oh fucksox
I just wrote a really long reply and my internetz eated it.

To sum up, some old people can be nice, some can be nasty and some need a lesson in the manners they speak of themselves.

Good on your daughter TWW :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 21:33, Reply)

I think your daughter has just been b3ta-named
TheWeeWeeWitch. It's even got a bit of a double meaning...

She's most definitely one of us. Invite her along to the Edinbash next year!
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 21:49, Reply)

Should it not be the
Oui Wee Witch!

Look, I made a funny!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 22:21, Reply)

CLICK!
Your Daughter is BRILLIANT!

Listen, I am a Southern (US) boy. Born and Raised to be a 'Gentleman' but I lived in NYC for 5.5 years and the absurd lack of decency drove me away.

To this day, each and every year, I go to NYC at least once a year for Christmas shopping. I make it a POINT to stand at a door, holding said door and observing how many of those crusty, nasty, arrogant NY'ers actually say 'thank you.' When they dont? I stick my Marine Corps sized head in their face and say "OH, You're welcome. you MUST be a NY'er."

I dont care WHO you are: when someone does something decent for you, you say "THANK YOU!" PERIOD!

You've not only taught your Daughter a great lesson about granting old pensioners respect, you've also, apparently, taught her that NO ONE PERSON requires respect, it is a gift, given, not deserved. Absolutely BRILLIANT!

Mega-clicks to the wee one!

Cheers,

Citadel
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 4:28, Reply)

Old People........

Going around smelling of piss and telling everybody how hard they had it back in the day.

It must be a thing with Edinburgh pensioners to be as obnoxious as possible. I was in Greggs on Elm Row yesterday lunchtime and some old bag was ranting non stop at the young assistant because they had run out of soft rolls.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 9:34, Reply)

"Je suis desolee, Madame, mais je regrete que nous ne vous comprends pas"
_{Sorry, the spelling is probably off, and I can't remember all the html accents}

Your daughter rocks.

Click.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Kudos to your daughter
I wouldn't have thought of that in million years. I'd have probably just told her to stop being so fucking rude and stolen her tartan shopping trolley.

Not that it makes any difference, but *click* anyway.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Aug 2008, 12:19, Reply)

*officelol*
TWWW FTW! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 13:24, Reply)

*applauds and salutes TWWW*
Now that's thinking on one's feet!

Please pass on hugs and cake from me.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 19:17, Reply)

a) that's superb, I salute your progeny
b) I fucking HATE old cunts like that, were it me I'd have simply punched the pair of them in the face. Or popped their eyes out with a spoon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 11:31, Reply)