LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF B3TA!
For your viewing pleasure, beckyjsbx and Madam Marlboro productions present the long await revenge sequel


THE MELANCHOLY TALE OF BERT MONKEYSEX




With special thanks to Kes.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:00, 22 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Oh Bertie
come out, come out wherever you are...
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:02, Reply)

I'd just like to say...
That I FUCKING LOVE THIS!

*applauds*

Nice work, you two! *hugs and high fives*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:04, Reply)

O my!
the pathos!
Beautiful.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Bert
must feel very special that such a heart (and, er, head) rending tale has been created with him in mind.
( thealternativefact, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:10, Reply)

oh my
This is genius. Ha. How much fun was this to do?! I love the picture with the pigeon flapping...
I salute you ladies!
edited for spoiler removal.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Poor Bert
(spoiler above)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:14, Reply)

It's a conspiracy
Berts death was faked for insurance purposes.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:16, Reply)

No,
there's no canoe!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Ace!
*sobs slightly*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:24, Reply)

*applauds*
you should make this into a book for kids
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:37, Reply)

*Wipes away a tear*
Beautiful, just beautiful.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:43, Reply)

And for dessert:
chilled monkey brains!


I love this. Woo!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:44, Reply)

I'm midway through
And grinning like a freshly lobotomized ex-Prime Minister.

Edit - who's Boxer dog is that?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:58, Reply)

@PJM
That would be MM's dog. Ain't she a beaut?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Mutley
I grew up with Boxer dogs, they're great.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 7 Aug 2008, 11:21, Reply)

Feckin' genius
Poor Bert :o(

See the pathos. Colour it with a purple crayon.

Run Bert, run!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 11:40, Reply)

that wins
on eleventy millions ways of genius.

multiple "i like this" on the way!

feel free to claim your alcoholic beverage of choice (within reason) on the 23rd from Mr Halfy the confused and nervous for making me smile like an idiot for the last 10 minutes!
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Brilliant!
*prostrates self at feet of MM and beckyconsonants*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Aug 2008, 12:13, Reply)

Brilliant
Cheered up a dreary Thursday afternoon! Kes is gorgeous as well!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 12:14, Reply)

*giggles*
Ah well, he lived a full life.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 13:14, Reply)

*Is looking forward*
*to Bert's appearance on here and at the bash tomorrow*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 20:04, Reply)