Yo! Morning! Alright! Etc.....
I'm late for work, but I am going to lie and blame public transport instead of telling the truth. When was the last time you were late for work but were going to lie and blame public transport instead of telling the truth? Or at least when was the last time you lied?
Alt: WHATEVER I DONT CARE
Altalt: SHIT YOURSELF
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 7:04, 60 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I was late for work yesterday...
...'Phoned in to the office, told them I was going to be late and why, no problem. I don't use public transport so I couldn't offset the blame.
Alt: Longish drive today, I'm not enjoying driving like I used to.
Altalt: Certainly, I'm just waiting for the prune juice to do its work.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 7:38, Reply)

I don't get in trouble as such, I just don't like letting people down.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:09, Reply)

SHIT THE BED
At least, I heard that's what Swiples is into.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 7:57, Reply)

Yes, this is true.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:09, Reply)

she loves a bit of ass play as well

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:15, Reply)

yes im looking forward to xmas

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:18, Reply)

I'm looking forward to the acrimonious breakup and the incessant bitching

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:20, Reply)

yeah me too

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:21, Reply)

we all are
My money's on Chimpy returning to revel in your heartbreak before you put on The Idiot by Iggy Pop and then hang yourself in your kitchen.

We'll all carry on under the name New Ordure.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:26, Reply)

if it all goes wrong this will certainly be my first port of call to keep you all in the loop

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:27, Reply)

And by "a bit"
you of course mean "being treated like the prize heifer on an episode of All Creatures Great and Small"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:18, Reply)

What an eloquent description. In a farmyard for added ewwwwww.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:29, Reply)

I liked it better when this said something about an elephant

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:31, Reply)

I liked B3ta better when you weren't here.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:42, Reply)

that was the last time you lied

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:43, Reply)

I dont think I have been late for work in 8 or 9 years
in fact I am not due to start work until 8.45 and yet here I am,

altalt DONE... do I get a brownie?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 7:59, Reply)

I never used to be late :(
Altalt: Yes, with glitter sprinkles.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:10, Reply)

To be fair mine is simply down to teh fact that I tend to wake up early
and if I leave any later I get caught up in school traffic and rather than it taken me 20 mins it takes over an hour.

and fucking glitter sprinkles gave me a heart stopping moment a few years back when after a movement I saw a shiny glittering turd gleaming back at me from the throne. Took me a while to figure out that edible glitter doesn't mean digestible
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:15, Reply)

I am trying this.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:16, Reply)

P.O.I.N.T.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:22, Reply)

????

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:28, Reply)

What kind of bent start time is 8.45?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:29, Reply)

is he still at school?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:30, Reply)

In my day school used to start at 9.00am
You knew where you were with a good solid start time like that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:34, Reply)

I wish I started at 9 now. that would be living the dream for me :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:35, Reply)

My boarding school used to finish at 9 : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:43, Reply)

Haha your parents didn't want you around

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:44, Reply)

lol
First in a while
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:45, Reply)

Luckily at least one of yours did
Dear old mummy tangles, she taught me well
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:46, Reply)

She always had a soft spot for the div kids in the class

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:47, Reply)

yeah, between her legs

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:51, Reply)

soft wet
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:53, Reply)

I also went to boarding school
My parents also hated me
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Boarding school here too.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:52, Reply)

wankers

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:53, Reply)

True, but well educated, confident and connected wankers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I think this warrants a new thread.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:55, Reply)

Well educated and confident yes
connected no...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Talk about your troubles here:
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2165807
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Its the time YM thighs part for access
So I need to be prompt to add the pig grease
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:42, Reply)

I'm usually late for work, but it's never because of public transport
However, today I was early.
I lie all the time for shits and giggles.
Alt: Yes you do. Gay prick.
Altalt: Go shit your leg off, wanker.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:29, Reply)

alt: I only care about you tuib

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:32, Reply)

I know
x
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:33, Reply)

I shit myself before I read this
Should I do it again or am I ok?

Lying eh? Well I told my boss I was going on a training course when really the department headhunting me wanted to take me to London. I told them it was two days of meetings and courses when really I spent More time drinking with Stunned, LIC and Monty (WTA) than I did in the two very short meetings.
( Peej, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:36, Reply)

no once is enough, I just wanted to remind everyone if they hadn't already.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Alt, apparently rucksack s are experiencing a comeback. Stella McCartney does one for £780.
Fuck me that's a bit much for a bag. Mine was 30quid from Go Outdoors and is ace.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:38, Reply)

I have a satchel type thing because I am camp and metrosexual

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:40, Reply)

BAG CHAT

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:43, Reply)

^BREIFCASE MONG^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:44, Reply)

I am hoping for a briefcase for chrimbowizzles

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:44, Reply)

see above

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:44, Reply)

^^bender^^

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:44, Reply)

its better than your sports direct drawstring carrier bag

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:53, Reply)

I huz Netto carriers.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:56, Reply)

a piece of toast spread with dogshit is better than a sports direct drawstring carrier bag

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:57, Reply)

I'm using my Matix backpack today.
Both shoulders of course.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:51, Reply)

French^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:54, Reply)

nah
It's a sk8 hop street thing innit mein bruder.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:56, Reply)

I'm hoping someone winds al up into a ball of autistic anger again today

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:45, Reply)

im hoping to unleash my balls of anger on ym

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Dec 2013, 8:46, Reply)