Oh, Hi! Good morning, you look *lovely* today (Not you, sorry)
So, right, erm, what are you doing today? I'm enjoying my last FULL day of the year at work. S'alright though innit. I just has a 'Heston' mince pie for breakfast, I don't even like mince pies, at least I though I didn't, but that was okay actually.
Alt: Jason keeps getting all upset. Who is going to upset Jason today? Why does Jason spend nearly all his time getting upset?
^UPSET^
Altalt: If you were going to start a thread, what subjects would you choose? When you have decided, start a new thread containing your answers, or something. I dunno, or care.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 7:46, 93 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Yeah, I know I look rough...
Today is the first day of my hollibobbidoos and I had intended on having some megalols.
However, I was up half the night with a vomiting child and I'm now going to spend the day taking care of him while trying to keep a two year old entertained instead

Alt: The gays are often quite highly strung. I might point out a silly mistake he has made.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:23, Reply)

That doesn't sound like 'megalolz', Your chrimbleholliwollipopples are off to an awful start.
Alt: I enjoy doing that too. Now that's megalolz.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:27, Reply)

I have been up since 5:45 :(
Alt: some people just can't help it, Al is a classic example

Was your mince pie cakey? I think I had one the other day
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:25, Reply)

Sort of cinnamon cakey with a lattice top. It was very nice, and has completely changed my outlook on mince pies.
+ I have been up since 4.50, same as everyday. SO WHAT.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:28, Reply)

Al is rather 'highly strung'. See last week as an example.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:39, Reply)

It's hilarious

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:45, Reply)

Bender!.
Not your best thread, Froggles.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:26, Reply)

We USED to have a laugh here

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:28, Reply)

Well, you USED to be funny.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:41, Reply)

Don't care, it's a start innit, you determined and committed paedophile.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:29, Reply)

That's MR Watkins to you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:30, Reply)

What you did plumbs new depths of depravity. I don't know what you are NOT capable of.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Walking without the aid of a stick?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:43, Reply)

Walking past a pub?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:43, Reply)

Maintaining a Successful marriage?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:44, Reply)

Relying on his own body to regulate his sugar levels?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:53, Reply)

stunned will be dead before Watkins gets out :'(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:44, Reply)

Morning!
I May or may not be going to Burnley today -it's likely I won't though as the customer still hasn't contacted me. Hey ho. I'll be working* until Xmas eve so I'm not in the least festive yet.
Alt: Everyone will upset Jason today, he's such a girl!
Altalt: Gun laws, paedophilia and the shitness of DJs.

*Yeah, I know.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:35, Reply)

It's as if you don't care, you have shown no remorse at any time.
In my view that makes you the most dangerous sex offender I have ever seen.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:37, Reply)

And your point is?
Megalolz
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:05, Reply)

My money is on Rory upsetting him again.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:38, Reply)

I do hope so. Megalolz.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:39, Reply)

I don't know why people get upset with Rory.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:41, Reply)

He can be annoying, but he's also pretty funny.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:43, Reply)

This^
He's like a naughty jack Russell yes he'll bite you, yes he'll shit on the sofa and Yes he'll rub his mange infested arse all over your pillow, but then he'll bring you a dead pigeon as a present
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Who is Jason? Sorry I'm notup on real names or have I misssd something?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Jay.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:52, Reply)

From 5ive

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:52, Reply)

I like mince pies. Not fancy ones just the cheap ones.
I've got two and a half days left, though I suspect the last day and a half will contain more playing Ker-Plunk and pissing about than actual work.

Alt: Who is Jason?
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:54, Reply)

What do you do, Unhappy Bear?
Alt: See above.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:54, Reply)

Blowies down the docks

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:56, Reply)

I knew it! Bear Pookie!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 8:58, Reply)

I'm not other bear sos.
Frogcock.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:03, Reply)

you both have the same job.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:04, Reply)

Whut?
Sorry feeling thick today.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:24, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2173044
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Meh.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:34, Reply)

a mince pie for breakfast?
disgusting on every level
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Shut up.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:12, Reply)

He clearly needs the love of a good woman to sort him out.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Shut up you idiot, pies are glorious.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:13, Reply)

proper pies yes
fuck that raisiny shit stuffed full of evil
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Proper pies hVe large lumps of lovely meat in.
Lovely lovely meat.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Like steak and kidney?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:23, Reply)

For a start yez.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:25, Reply)

you two are both wrong
homity is the only way
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:25, Reply)

How about humble?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Kidney can get fucked.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Nah, devilled kidneys & scrambled eggs are a winner for breakfast.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:38, Reply)

I can't stand kidney. Horrible stuff. You can keep it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:41, Reply)

liver, kidneys and bacon was my most hated and dreaded meal as a child
I used to cry just looking at it. drove my father, who'd paid for it, utterly crackers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I 'ad t'buy me own liver an kidne when I were a boy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:45, Reply)

An animal filtered piss through that for it's whole life for you to enjoy!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Yes pastries are in no way a staple part of many peoples breakfasts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:23, Reply)

mince pies should be eaten with cheese or randy cream in the afternoon
no wait, the other one. NEVER.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:24, Reply)

'Randy cream'?
Is that a bit like 'Chef's special sauce'?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:28, Reply)

:(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:29, Reply)

randy cream?

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:28, Reply)

you've got randy cream all over your face

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:37, Reply)

whoa whoa whoa
you MAYOR of the typo zone, boy!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Randy cream

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

SHUT UP

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:51, Reply)

I thought you'd be pleased I tried a new thing.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:24, Reply)

You are a fucking idiot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:25, Reply)

+ an

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:25, Reply)

This made me laugh, and then not laugh anymore.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:26, Reply)

You had a right laugh there

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:28, Reply)

+a -an

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:27, Reply)

You are a fucking idiot, who is also grammatically incorrect.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:27, Reply)

fuck off ninja boy!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:30, Reply)

It would seem Sob Carehome is back
b3ta.com/questions/bizarreleapsoflogic/post2172996
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:30, Reply)

this site is the gift that keeps on giving

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:34, Reply)

I hope someone kept the receipt

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:38, Reply)

I wonder if there's anyone out there that pronounces the 'p' in that
I had one of those 'right laughs' yesterday when I heard someone pronounce 'potpourri' as it looks. She'd been doing it all her life and thought we were winding them up when we pointed out her mistake.
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Similar to morons who pronounce caius (as in the Cambridge college) as they read it, rather than as it should be.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:44, Reply)

seriously
how often does that come up in conversation, if you're not a total bellend?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Not often.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Alreet?
I have survived our office do and been presented with my co-worker bundling through the office door, still dressed in last night's gear and shitfaced

I have had a sausage, egg and mushroom sammich and a brew so all is good with the world
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:44, Reply)

with by
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:44, Reply)

See you later

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:46, Reply)

hahahaha!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:47, Reply)

you're easily amused today

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Everyday. That's why I find you funny.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Alright mate, freebie wine this morning.
I am going to get shitfaced tomorrow afternoon.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I'm off out for unexpected drinking tomorrow

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:46, Reply)

if i were mrs cow, i'd say
THAT DOESN'T SOUND FUCKING UNEXPECTED, GET YOUR ARSE HOME AND MIND THE CALVES, I'M OUT WITH THE GIRLS
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:51, Reply)

It was supposed to be her works night out but it got cancelled
Hence I'm orf
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:57, Reply)

I got one tonight, not sure I can be arsed though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:47, Reply)

you need some of that randy cream

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Randy cream

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 10:01, Reply)

you make it the same way as randy butter

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Gay^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 10:06, Reply)

There are some states in here today

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 10:13, Reply)