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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, my folks have rented a cottage in Whitby for a week in July and have invited me.
I haven't spent more than 2 consecutive days with them since my teens.
Im quite looking forward to it but I just know it will end in arguments.
How do you get on with your folks?

Alt. www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/satan-cut-from-the-bible-for-looking-like-barack-obama-9138277.html
Satan's a pretty important part of the bible story, I'd say. Couldn't they have reshot with a person who didn't look like Obama?

AltAlt. Lunch. I have smoky chipotle and sweetcorn soup.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:58, 136 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Whitby is quite nice
Decent record shop, alright pubs.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 12:59, Reply)
Yeah not been there for years. We are at the foot if them 199 steps or whatever it is.
Should be a nice break. Im giving them a few days before I arrive.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:07, Reply)
read Dracula before you go

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:09, Reply)
again?
I had a couple of books as a kid by Robin Jarvis. it was a trilogy called The Whitby Witches. When I went there it was like being in the book. Nice.

You like you Olde Towns don't you?
I love the architecture and the old feel of places.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:10, Reply)
I'm desensitised to it all.
I can spend a day in the centre of York and not once pay any attention to the architecture.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Too busy perving over feet

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:23, Reply)
yer, sexy pigeons innit

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:26, Reply)
^ Don't do this.
As it's awful.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:11, Reply)
it is indeed dreadful
Just a pulp novel when it was written. It's really cringeworthy.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:13, Reply)
I like the film with Keanu Reeves

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:16, Reply)
best actor of his generation.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:17, Reply)
He's EXCELLENT
*air guitars*
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:19, Reply)
He's no Jude Law.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:25, Reply)
I really thought he and Winona were proper English

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:25, Reply)
There's a cure for this.
It's suicide.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:25, Reply)
Suicide cures sarcasm?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Yes.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:30, Reply)
I'm glad that Reeves gets the flack - he's the bullet-catcher, because my wife's in it, and she's just as atrocious.
"Oh Lucy you dear, sweet thing!"
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:25, Reply)
Sorry, that's personal

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:01, Reply)
Even the alts?
Didn't have you down as a religious amphibian
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:11, Reply)
Being an homosexual Jason, do you call both your Dads 'Dad' or do you call one 'Mum'?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:12, Reply)
You're getting me confused with Monty, dear.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:25, Reply)
I thought gays were made using two men?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:29, Reply)
I reckon this is just lies on the internet by the PR team to go viral an generate interest in the fillum an ting.
Home-made pulled pork (Eh?! Eh?!) roll - lush.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Yeah I thought that too.
To have the focus just on Jesus is a bit biased. Poor Devil chap did most of the work.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:08, Reply)
I will say it now
Renting a cottage in Whitby, sounds like a euphemism for the gay lovin...
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:03, Reply)
they don't have gays in North Yorkshire

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:04, Reply)
How do you explain that Graham Norton, then?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:08, Reply)
Irish queer.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:09, Reply)
Tomato/tomato.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:10, Reply)
I don't.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:09, Reply)
People like you are the reason this once-great country's gone to the dogs.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:10, Reply)
You're one of the first to pick up on these and throw in a euphemism...
Just sayin'...

:)
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:06, Reply)
^Rents a cottage in Whitby^

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:14, Reply)
*takes you up 199 steps*

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:18, Reply)
cheeky
*blushes*
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:22, Reply)
Hi Hinny.
Mine's dead so pretty easy to avoid arguments.
Whitby's OK. Used to have a fish shop called Fat Fanny's. That's dead too now.

Atalt. Bacon, egg, home made toast, crisp as owt.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:04, Reply)
I think it might be a bit too quiet for me, but will be good to have a relaxed holibobs.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:08, Reply)
Home made toast?
WOAH!
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:13, Reply)
None of your shop bought rubbish for ed!

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Yeah!
Home made toast FTW
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:15, Reply)
I might try making some this weekend.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:15, Reply)
Can you gaz me your recipe please?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:17, Reply)
You missed it when you were off I think, here you go:
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2216301
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:18, Reply)
Thanks man!

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:18, Reply)


.___________.
| |
___________. | | /~\ |
/ __ __ /| | _ _ |_| |
/ /:/ /:/ / | !________|__!
/ /:/ /:/ / | |
/ /:/ /:/ / |____________!
/ /:/ /:/ / |
/ /:/ /:/ / |
/ ~~ ~~ / |
|~~~~~~~~~~| |
| :: | /
| == | /
| :: | /
| :: | /
| :: @ | /
!__________!/


(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:22, Reply)
\o/
I need this on a t-shirt
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:23, Reply)

                  .___________.
| |
___________. | | /~\ |
/ __ __ /| | _ _ |_| |
/ /:/ /:/ / | !________|__!
/ /:/ /:/ / | |
/ /:/ /:/ / |____________!
/ /:/ /:/ / |
/ /:/ /:/ / |
/ ~~ ~~ / |
|~~~~~~~~~~| |
| :: | /
| == | /
| :: | /
| :: | /
| :: @ | /
!__________!/

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:26, Reply)
I FUCKING DID IT!!!
Thanks Lightinchains!
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:27, Reply)
TOP OF DOUBLE SWITCHED OUTLET FAIL

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:27, Reply)
almost...

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Still, he's getting there

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:29, Reply)
I am slightly sad you told him of the <pre> tag, as it was amusing to watch him struggle

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:32, Reply)
I did find the cheater very funny

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:36, Reply)
Me too :)
and it was a LEOPARD!
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:41, Reply)
You can get packets of toast in Indian supermarkets
the ones in my local have "export quality" on the label. That just makes me go WTF?
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Smelly bread

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:29, Reply)
altalt;
I have a smoky chipotle, but the doc has given me some cream and it should be ok soon
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:11, Reply)
You've got a chill(i)

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Its multiplying

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:19, Reply)
It add to be you saying that

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:20, Reply)
You're just the sort of div I'd expect that from

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:30, Reply)
You take that away RIGHT NOW!

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:36, Reply)
I got on better with them before the kids, oddly
AltAlt:
Annoyingly, after a weekend of pie making I forgot to bring lunch so I have generic Sainsburys misery in the form of a Southern Chicken sarnie
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:12, Reply)
cockney bird

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:29, Reply)
If you can't get on with your own family, it doesn't bode well for getting on with other people.
My folks are decent people and I like them.
I like Whitby - good pubs, alright record shop and nice views to get stoned in front of.

Alt: Dunno, never read it.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Sounds like bollocks m8, what about all the 'can't choose your family' stuff, eh? Sometimes I worry about you.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:16, Reply)
Well, let's put it this way:
How well do you get on with other people?
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:35, Reply)
Very well, usually.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:37, Reply)
Really?
You do surprise me
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:40, Reply)
you can also travel there by steam train from Pickering

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:18, Reply)
I fucking love steam trains.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:19, Reply)
they're alright
I see them fairly regularly.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:20, Reply)
And I love fucking steam... oh hang on

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:20, Reply)
Me and the boys steam trained your mum last night

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:21, Reply)
Alt: clearly you've never read the bible, he barely features

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:16, Reply)
Dracula?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:17, Reply)
yes
it's almost like they don't want to acknowledge him AT ALL.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:31, Reply)
So what's all the hoo-hah about then?
Not with the film, but the devil in general?
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:31, Reply)
later church doctrine when the proles were getting rowdy

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:31, Reply)
Why arguments?
get on well with my dad and brother now, although we never used to get on. Growing up and losing mum brought us together.

Alt: another important part of the Bible says your kind ought to be killed, so I wouldn't worry too much.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:18, Reply)
Have you tried looking for her?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:19, Reply)
Nah, fuck her, stupid cow.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:19, Reply)
OK
*fucks*
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:20, Reply)
I think she's gone for tea with AA and Swipe's mums

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:20, Reply)

for tea to make nuisance phone calls
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:33, Reply)
It's just my Mam really. She's on a lot of medication for her epilepsy and can be a right grumpy bitch

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:31, Reply)
Battered is your mum?
*Eastenders drums*
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:36, Reply)
Sorry to be the bearer
but she is just disappointed that you will never bear her any grandchildren and hates you a little bit for this.
HTHs
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:37, Reply)
nah they really werenlt bothered. used all my "wedding fund" to go on a round the world cruise.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:38, Reply)
alt: the bible contains 8 admonishments to homosexuals and 76 to heterosexuals
clearly the bible reckons they're better.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:33, Reply)
Was it your dad fingering you as a child that turned you into a bender?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:19, Reply)
I bet it was.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:19, Reply)
I am on board with this sound scientific theory

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:21, Reply)
Some of them claim that wanting to finger kids is genetic

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:24, Reply)
pederasts will claim anything

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:25, Reply)
I've heard some even claim benefits that they weren't due so they could go to ibeefa to bum Spanish waitors

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:28, Reply)
I've heard that GeordieJay fingers kids

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:31, Reply)
it gave him a hankering for fingering kids

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:21, Reply)
Nah it was me fancying men.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:42, Reply)
altalt: M&S ultimate burger and chunky chips
It's not really ultimate, I give it 7/10 for effort.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:20, Reply)
Really well. The relationship with my brother was a little distant in the past, but it's much better now.
We started going on family holidays again last year and, since they really like the mrs and my brother's got a sprog coming, I can see them continuing in future.

Depends which version of the Bible you're on about. In earlier versions "Satan" was a term used for those that opposed the Hebrew teachings, not a mythological evil being. So basically everybody that wasn't a Jew. Bit racist.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:21, Reply)
Have you seen Denmark has banned the halal and kosher slaughter of animals?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:22, Reply)
I think its fair enough

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:22, Reply)
I know, fuckers are claiming its racist
As far as I'm concerned they can cut their own throats while conscious and the. Bleed to death hanging upside down
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:24, Reply)
it infringes on the right of religious freedom

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:25, Reply)
It's the law, I don't care about their beliefs the law is the law

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:26, Reply)
I AM THE LAW!!

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:46, Reply)
hope it doesnt affect the taste of their nommy baconz

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:24, Reply)
What?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:24, Reply)
Denmark have banned the halal and kosher slaughter of animals

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:25, Reply)
What reasons have they given?

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:28, Reply)
They dont like muzzers

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:29, Reply)
The rights of the animals to a pain and suffering "free" death are more important than their religious beliefs
Which are, if we are honest, antiquated and retarded
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:31, Reply)
as are all religious beliefs, not just the muslamics

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:33, Reply)
er scientology isnt
That's based on the true fact that little bits of alien that were blown up in a volcano live inside us
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:35, Reply)
I genuinely didn't know that

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:37, Reply)
What that scientology is based on FACT
everyone knows that...
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:43, Reply)
They should only be allowed to do it
if they are happy to take the animal on in hand to hoof combat, they can have a knife and the animal can have some sort of head spike.
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:34, Reply)
YEAH!
Bring it on
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:38, Reply)
I also think the same about big game hunters
if they want to kill a lion to prove how manly they are then do it hand combat should be allowed, no guns
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:44, Reply)
More impressive would be if they could overpower it, but not kill it
Take its place as the alpha male in the pride
(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:45, Reply)
Yeah, all those sehxy loinesses to fulfill their needs grrrrrr

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:50, Reply)
typical kikes

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:22, Reply)
I've started a new thread, asking a serious question.

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:32, Reply)
a bold new direction

(, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:34, Reply)

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