Eurovision is shit and anyone watching it 'for a laught because it's so bad' is a cunt.
What else this weekend makes you a cunt?
Alt: Naked Ape touches kids on the cunt.

Altalt: Get fucked.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:06, 87 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I approve of the alt alt.
PS, I hear your wife is overweight.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:10, Reply)

ha ha swearing brilliant stuff

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:11, Reply)

Naked Ape is a paedophilic sex offender!
LOL!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:13, Reply)

ha ha fuck ha ha cunt

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:14, Reply)

the never broadcast episode of Wizbit

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:15, Reply)

my oh my

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:17, Reply)

haha your bird is fat as well haha

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:15, Reply)

ha ha yours is imaginary and fat lol

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:16, Reply)

haha that's true haha

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:18, Reply)

I am listening to Ennio Morricone tunes
How cool am I
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:14, Reply)

Regardless of what you are listening to, I'm going to go with: not very

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:18, Reply)

I only listen to deliberately obscure stuff, I don't even like it, I much prefer U2, Arcade Fire, Muse and Oasis.
I always found Blur a bit too edgy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Ennio is hardly obscure

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:28, Reply)

I know.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:32, Reply)

super cool daddio

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:23, Reply)

Yay

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:27, Reply)

I hope one is good, one is bad and one is downright ugly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:43, Reply)

He said Morricone, not Bananarama

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:45, Reply)

oh ho!
Hey Blondie!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:48, Reply)

*squints*

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:50, Reply)

Way cool
*finger guns*
*extreme close ups*
*finger guns again*
*sweats*
*extremer close ups*
etc, etc...
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:47, Reply)

Haha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:58, Reply)

I just looooooove eurovision
no wait, the other one....
( Peej, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:19, Reply)

Any plans to get up to London? I'm running low on hogs pudding.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Not for the moment
But I would like to.
( Peej, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Which one's this?

( Kroney, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:27, Reply)

tinwog

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:39, Reply)

Eurovision is fucking hilarious
Partly because it's bad, but mostly because it's so hard to tell the difference between those who know it's awful and those that are taking it deadly seriously but are still awful.

It's the greatest opportunity for prime bitching material outside of Mean Girls.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:30, Reply)

it's awful and should be destroyed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:42, Reply)

So's your face!
Hey. That actually works.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:44, Reply)

How does it affect you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:44, Reply)

you're not a very good troll

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:49, Reply)

Thanks
Was I trolling?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:51, Reply)

he cooks bacon on a camping fax stove in the garden.
The garden of the house on Cycling Ave.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:52, Reply)

A camping fax stove sounds like one of Alan Sugar's more practical ideas

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:59, Reply)

cool
if you run out of nommy baconz you just ring up and get someone to fax you some.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:01, Reply)

Give me a choice of food sythesizers and a warp drive
and my money's on instant cheese on toast every time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:05, Reply)

"Do you want toast?"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:09, Reply)

Yes please
No smegging flapjacks though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:14, Reply)

HAHAHA RED DWARF SMEG!!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:15, Reply)

^ upset

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:50, Reply)

I'll be especially interested to see who votes for Russia this year
Suspect the numbers will drop off the further the country is away. 12 points = PLEASE DON'T INVADE US
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:05, Reply)

Everything this weekend makes me a cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:44, Reply)

That's got nothing to do with the weekend

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:45, Reply)

INORITE

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:45, Reply)

cunt

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:48, Reply)

Thats me
I'm even MORE of a cunt now I've had me some beer too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:48, Reply)

Beer fives.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:52, Reply)

I might get train bottles
cos i'm dead classy
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:54, Reply)

cos nothing says class like trying to prize the cpas off bottles of beer with your housekeys

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:55, Reply)

Did you learn nothing about levers at your expensive school?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:58, Reply)

They have to use the virgin ringpiece of a toddler though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:05, Reply)

yer, but it hurts my hand :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:06, Reply)

Bottle opener key rings are all of the win

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:59, Reply)

I got one from little tangle when he got to choose something at school for a Father's Day present wrap
He knows me so well
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:03, Reply)

yer, I used to have one, lost my keys though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:07, Reply)

Do you have to wait for mrs ape to let you in?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:09, Reply)

sometimes id she's inn the bath or on the phone i just have to sit and wait by the bins

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:13, Reply)

*furiously*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 May 2014, 13:59, Reply)

I too have had BEERLUNCH
Along with a portobello mushroom and mozarella burger. And massive chips.

This afternoon might be quite long.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:03, Reply)

you don't sound very depressed to me...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:06, Reply)

He is faking it for the meds
Then flogging tazzies on the mean streets of Narritch
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Oh I'm sorry, I'll do it again
Woe is me! For I too have had BEERLUNCH, but I didn't enjoy it at all, because nothing in this bleak life brings the slightest respite from the crushing inevitability of my own desolate existence.

Along with a portobello mushroom, surely the most piteous and inexcusably patlry of all the edible fungi, and tasteless dago cheese substitute mozarella burger. And massive chips which seemed to mock my feeble teeth as they tore them asunder.

This afternoon might be quite long, like the dark night of my soul, or some shit like that which keeps irritating internet bent spastics happy.

Better?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:12, Reply)

you forgot to mention losing your job

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:22, Reply)

I'm not doing another rewrite
You can shit off back to twatland you globulous fucktard
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:23, Reply)

i feel like i'm helping

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Your village misses you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:25, Reply)

Are you allowed to combine beer with antipsychotics?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:08, Reply)

I combine beer with psychotics so yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Actually yeah
It's the antidepressants I'm not supposed to mix them with, but am weaning myself off them anyway, because they did fuck all.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:09, Reply)

so why not go cold turkey?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:09, Reply)

Because coming off SSRI's in that way gives you epic withdrawal headaches
Each time I've come off one to try another there's a few days of dizziness, nausea and general "meh", and I don't much fancy spending two weeks in Spain like that ta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:13, Reply)

Gaz me for some 'natural' alternatives, yeah?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:15, Reply)

Do you deliver?
I hear Royal Mail have all manner of loopholes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:17, Reply)

bit like your mum

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:23, Reply)

I'm talking snake oils, not illegal drugs.
I imagine you've already thoroughly researched the kind of things I mean online.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:23, Reply)

Have I fuck
Prescription meds don't seem to be helping so I'm not taking chances on owt else. I've researched self-help CBT courses and counselling online instead
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Motorcycling is a well-known cure for depression

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:37, Reply)

put it this way that wasn't a mushroom he was eating
he spent an hour gnawing the bog seat in Wimpey
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 May 2014, 14:09, Reply)