NO POLITICS CHAT
So my wife and my mum have had a row about me and aren't talking.

How do you deal with family rows?
( Peej, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:11, 144 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Mrs Cow and my mam have had a few run ins
I find them to be a right pain in the arse so try and get things calmed down and resolved ASAP. This lets me drink beer quietly
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:16, Reply)

I've never known my wife and mother to have a row
They'd be more likely to gang up together against me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:17, Reply)

^^^^^^
My mum and girlfriend get on far too well for comfort.
( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:24, Reply)

You should side with whichever one is most likely to suck your cock.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:16, Reply)

^ Mum knows best

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Apparently his mum is a right sort

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:17, Reply)

I thought she was left handed?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:20, Reply)

Believe me, she's very good with BOTH

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 11:27, Reply)

wankidextrous

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:36, Reply)

If you were, would that mean that it ALWAYS felt like someone else was doing it?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 11:37, Reply)

I've been extensively training and can confirm this is true

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:49, Reply)

Quite literally, \o/

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Piece of piss
My mum and dad are both dead and when my sister is being a dick I just tell her. Simple.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 11:17, Reply)

lol dead mum

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:17, Reply)

BlooBlooBloo right here

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 11:18, Reply)

I don't live with them, so it doesn't tend to happen
Although my brother and I did recently argue about eating goat. I said it's tasty, he says it's cute. What a gay.

In related news, at what age did you lot stop getting freaked out when your friends got engaged?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:18, Reply)

I don't know, I'm an orphan.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:19, Reply)

Born from spawn

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:21, Reply)

'Spawn to lose'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Where is that French dick kroney?
I took his advice and tried to fix my dishwasher and needed up getting dishwasher salt in my eye and it fucking stung
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:22, Reply)

It was Battered or Al that told you to fill up the salt.
I know better than to trust you with anything remotely dangerous.

Also: You're an utter fucking mincing Jessie.
( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:25, Reply)

i was all like
*_O
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Sure it wasn't auto-erotic bukkake?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 11:28, Reply)

How you manage to get out of your front garden without a map, I'll never know.

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:28, Reply)

it's down hill

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:29, Reply)

front garden mum's fandango
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 11:31, Reply)

There ent too scaramuch room

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:38, Reply)

Magnificooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
EchoLOLS
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 May 2014, 12:41, Reply)

\o

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:29, Reply)

prick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Haha yeah, HE'S the prick.

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:33, Reply)

yep

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:33, Reply)

How his wife manages to look after three children is a source of constant amazement.
She must have the patience of a saint.
( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:30, Reply)

i can do stuff

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:31, Reply)

I'm sure your crayon wall drawings are REALLY GOOD

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:31, Reply)

i can draw a horse upside down

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:32, Reply)

officelols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:37, Reply)

I've just read that French train news story you linked to yesterday.
It was "lol" and "rofl".
( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Only, not actually dead.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:31, Reply)

Killed all my family.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 May 2014, 11:49, Reply)

tggi^
Much easier in the end
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Everyone I know goes away in the end.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:56, Reply)

shit was so cash
/ac
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:37, Reply)

Johnny Cash should have covered Closer rather than Hurt.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:42, Reply)

Head Like A Hole

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:43, Reply)

you know what's ninlol?
Rapping Down in It to the theme from Fresh Prince.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:45, Reply)

Mrs Vagabond's family has a mad history, and her and her brother are really close - both in age and emotionally.
They're also typical Paddies.

When they get pissed together, it's either hugs and big love or all the guns come out, and they are vicious. Really vicious.

Which results in months-long silences, and awkward Facebook moments - they don't wash it in public, but there were some un-friending moments a couple of years ago.

They're both in their 40s hahahaha

My family is pretty close, but I'm going through a rough patch at the moment - ironically, Mrs V is a very good diplomat and peace-keeper when it comes to sorting out our differences.

Oh - soz - get pissed lol
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:49, Reply)

Actually, my dad is a big fan of Ladypig,
Probably because since I've met her I've actually stopped being a bit of a prick.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 May 2014, 11:59, Reply)

Not completely though.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:01, Reply)

:(

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 May 2014, 12:02, Reply)

It's okay, I like a bit of a prick.
No, hang on, not that....
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:03, Reply)

^ *contented little squeaks*

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:08, Reply)

xx

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:18, Reply)

EXACTLY that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:10, Reply)

I have decided that I don't like Fulham.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 May 2014, 12:11, Reply)

It's pronounced 'Fume'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:19, Reply)

When my Mum gets really pissed she likes to start a row.
I can see it coming these days and either diffuse it before it begins or simply make my excuses and leave.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:13, Reply)

No hilarious tweets from my internet pals yet, this 'following' experiment isn't what I had hoped for.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Send me your @ thingy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:22, Reply)

I'm getting bored of separating the calves as they seem to fight every fucking day
I might kill one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:37, Reply)

Just sell the one you like least on ebay.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:38, Reply)

hmmm
That might just work...
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:39, Reply)

dead leg

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:38, Reply)

Nice bit of veal for the barbecue season.

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:39, Reply)

tggi

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:39, Reply)

This sounds like paedo slang

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:41, Reply)

It really does, yes
Fucking French nonces, coming over here and touching OUR kids on their English cunts
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:42, Reply)

ENGLISH CUNTS FOR ENGLISH NONCES!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:46, Reply)

VOTE UKUNT!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:03, Reply)

Don't separate them, let them fight to the death.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:39, Reply)

Son 4 would kill daughter 7 every time

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:39, Reply)

You have 4 sons and 7 daughters?
Fucks sake, keep it in your pants.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:40, Reply)

Prime bull

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:41, Reply)

^Only divisible by one and himself^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:46, Reply)

There can be only one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:03, Reply)

Perhaps introduce a handicap to even the balance
Then take bets
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:40, Reply)

are you suggesting sporters cripples his 4 year old boy for the purposes of evening up an inter sibling fight to the death?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:53, Reply)

And takes bets on the outcome, yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:06, Reply)

I've got a double decker

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:51, Reply)

I have Brazil nuts with dark and milk chocolate.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:52, Reply)

I just ate a Double Decker, we could be bruvvas or something.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:53, Reply)

no.
no we couldn't.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:54, Reply)

we bally well could!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 May 2014, 12:56, Reply)

I saw a couple of Scotch bands last night and there was not one of them over 5'6
Are you a race of midgets or summat?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:00, Reply)

it's becasue their mothers are all drunk throughout pregnancy, it's stunts their growth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:03, Reply)

yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:03, Reply)

If they get any taller they have to stoop constantly to stay under the cloud cover.

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:04, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:05, Reply)

Glaswegians are always short for some reason.
Probably why they all have a chip on their shoulder.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:05, Reply)

Lead chips

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:06, Reply)

If they were made of potato they'd just eat them wouldn't they?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:08, Reply)

The one bit of humour in all of today.
Silly old And My Axe.
( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:11, Reply)

nerd^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:11, Reply)

If you don't like nerd humour, the internet is not the place for you, my friend.

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:12, Reply)

STOP DISCRIMINATING AGAINST MY INHERENT COOLNESS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:12, Reply)

You ain't Fonzie, more like Ralph.

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:13, Reply)

shut up "potsie"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:15, Reply)

haha

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:15, Reply)

We probably need a thread to post them all again

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:12, Reply)

Really? There are much better things to spend time on.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:12, Reply)

i'm not so sure about that
EDIT: SHOCK DELETION!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Ha!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Fly, my pretty! Fly!

( Kroney, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Fuck off Pierre.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Several name changes a day, crybaby deletes
Deffo not building up to a flounce, oh no
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:13, Reply)

I'd rather hang around and annoy you. Yes you. You in particular.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:14, Reply)

NEW THREAD!!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:14, Reply)