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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning my little cuntmonkeys
I have some cbeese on toast for breakfast, though I believe Eggs Benedict to be the finest breakfast of all time. What is your most favouritistest morning meal? Or the worst thing you've ever eaten before lunch?
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:09, 170 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
morning Field Marshall Sportington-Forbes (VC)
I'm partial to a bowl of maple & pecan crisp. It's a guilty pleasure.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:17, Reply)
Maple and pecan is lovely

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:24, Reply)
isn't it just!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:27, Reply)
Tesco does a maple and pecan plait pastry
Please try one and avoid the mouth orgasm noises you'll be making
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:28, Reply)
Guten Morgen
Can't go wrong with a full English.

Alt. Sambucca.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:17, Reply)
oh, silly me, it's an 'or' not an alt.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:18, Reply)
typical shitstabber

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:20, Reply)
It can be either
I'm in a good mood today
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:24, Reply)
Cos it's my 'b3ta birthday'

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:26, Reply)
Of course!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:28, Reply)
I had a banana today, but I think as a good all rounder you can't beat a bacon sandwich.
The worst thing that someone else ate first thing was 'chilli heatwave' Doritos, the smell alone made me feel sick and my hangover worse.

Also: Folkestone has been included in *yet another* list of 'cool places to live' - How d'ya like that, haters?!
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:19, Reply)
[citation needed]

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:20, Reply)
even your candles are spasticised

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:21, Reply)
Holy shit, candles!
I've never had candles before :)
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:21, Reply)
They are worth every penny

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:25, Reply)

every a
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:28, Reply)
Ttj...

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:29, Reply)
Candle prick
www.shortlist.com/home/coolest-new-uk-areas-to-buy-a-house
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:22, Reply)
I used to work right next to Holbeck
The regenerated bit is really cool.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:26, Reply)
Well this has blown it

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:30, Reply)
Careful
They'll go out
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:31, Reply)
There is a lot of money being put into 'regenerating' Folkestone, and house prices may double in the next 5 years as lots of people are moving there because of the transport links etc.
Might keep my house a bit longer than I had planned.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:30, Reply)
Sounds like a good plan

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:31, Reply)
The house costs me next to nothing to keep, might let it at some point or something before I cash in and retire.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:32, Reply)
you could do let to buy and get somewhere bigger/ in a nicer area
It seems to be working for sportscow.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:37, Reply)
Free commuter lads mags are renowned for their property nous

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:32, Reply)
I'm not suggesting it's a completely factual article, but regardless of the media coverage in the Guardian etc saying similar things, people are moving there and property prices are rising.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:34, Reply)
how many have you got in F town?
You have some rental properties, right?
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:34, Reply)
The family do.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:34, Reply)
I see.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Whose family?
Him who you don't speak to?
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:40, Reply)
No, he's not from Folkestone bruv

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:41, Reply)
Immigrant, eh

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:42, Reply)
He's fucked off to Wales, but I have him to thank for my Cheshire heritage

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:43, Reply)
You're a northern?

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:50, Reply)
Well, I was born in Chester and moved when I was 1.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:51, Reply)
Well they've embarrassed themselves there, haven't they
Where's Coventry in that list?
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:36, Reply)
They must have thought Cov was *already* a cool place to live and didn't need attention drawing to it.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:38, Reply)
Must be that
Or maybe we're still too hip to have registered yet
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:40, Reply)

Yes, I'm sure that must be it....
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:42, Reply)
no Welwyn Garden City either :'(

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:39, Reply)
Never heard of it.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:21, Reply)
No gays or blacks in F-Town soz

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:22, Reply)
I'm moving there then.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:57, Reply)
Or gingers

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 10:00, Reply)
Nakers is a candle cunt

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:21, Reply)
68340 replies....

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:23, Reply)
Fucking hell
Thats more than me and I've been on here longer
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:29, Reply)
26 a day...doesn't sound so bad

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:30, Reply)
Worst: grits.
Nasty american pulp: americanfood.about.com/od/resourcesadditionalinfo/a/What-The-Heck-Are-Grits.htm
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:30, Reply)
Slave food innit

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:31, Reply)
I guess so.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:33, Reply)
Good morning ladies and gentlemen
I will be having a bacon, chorizo and black pudding omelette/frittata type thing soon, although a full English* is my favourite. Worst thing ever was congee - a Chinese rice porridge with flakes of dried smoked fish in it.

*Without the beans - beans are awful.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:34, Reply)
Those gooks fucking love their fishy shit

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:35, Reply)
I have to say that the time i spent in SE Asia with native types....
...opened my eyes to their propensity to eat absolutely anything - the smellier/stranger/more complex the better.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:46, Reply)
Is that why your mum moved out there?

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:46, Reply)
Only after she died

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:50, Reply)
A cup of tea and a joint.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:35, Reply)
Got to maintain that high for the day though.
Just a mild one to get you going, little one at lunch, another at home time, sort everything out, then massive bong hits from dusk until you pass out, then repeat.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:50, Reply)
^ TGGI

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:56, Reply)
Life lessons with weepee

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:03, Reply)
Omelette, toast and a really good strong cup of coffee
worst thing was YM
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:46, Reply)
Fuck of hartly it's not night time

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:47, Reply)
For once the bent spastic is correct
I'm only here to celebrate your candle day
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:49, Reply)
Decent fruit muesli is my breakfast of choice generally,
Unless I'm hanging, and then only eggs and bacon will do.
I've never understood Spanish omelette with chops as a thing. Just seems a bit crass.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 8:49, Reply)
The best morning meal is refrigerated pizza, left over from the night before.
Fact.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:08, Reply)
Yes!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:09, Reply)
Refrigerated?
Posh cunt.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:19, Reply)
INORITE
Pizza box is safe enough
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:20, Reply)
There's just something about it when it's fridge cold.
Although cold is good
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:30, Reply)
Microwave the fuck out of it
Melty cheese and stale bread FTW
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:35, Reply)
Can I change my answer to 'lager'?

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:11, Reply)
alright Scarpe?

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:13, Reply)
train cans tomorrow 07:36 onwards!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:14, Reply)
Plane cans for me tomorrow!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:15, Reply)
payday cans tonight!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:16, Reply)
Me too!! what a weekend this is going to be!!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:18, Reply)
YES!!!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:18, Reply)
Plane cans sound like the stuff dreams are made of.
I have five hours in first class to newquay, imma get wrecked on the way
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:20, Reply)
i might get payday bottles

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:21, Reply)
Treat yourself, you deserve it

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:21, Reply)
I relly do, 7 years of this shit...

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:23, Reply)
*relly* relly? yah relly.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:26, Reply)
*ski goggles*

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:34, Reply)
haha!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:35, Reply)
I hate you all across several internet platforms

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:43, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:21, Reply)
I'm having a party for one in my 'individual' seat

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:23, Reply)
I'm suffering somewhat this morning
Quirky Bird shiraz has a lot to answer for
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:24, Reply)
Dominos pizza is to blame for my 'suffering' today

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:27, Reply)
I ent never had one

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)
Well if you have had 'pizza' before you'll get the general idea

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)
Like pizzas a real thing

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)
yeah! What kind of word has two Zs in? It's riduculous

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:30, Reply)
Too much razzmatazz around it all

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:33, Reply)
spicey suffering? Poisoning suffering? or shame suffering?

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)
It hasn't stayed in my system for long.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:30, Reply)
Are you on commission from them

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 10:02, Reply)
Turning up to Newquay hammered, you'll fit right in
the place is a shithole now, shame really
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:26, Reply)
Newquay Brown

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)
it really is ghastly

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)
I hire a cottage in Hollywell bay about 6 miles from there
1 pub 2 shops and a great surfing beach
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:38, Reply)
SO IS UR FACE

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:28, Reply)
wins the internet^

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)
I'll let him have this victory
Given what he has to wake up next to he deserves a break every once in a while
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:34, Reply)
We last minute guest to stay last night
And tonight a couple with two small children, stopping over on their way from Faversham to Cornwall, tomorrow swimming then shopping and prepping for parents/in laws BBQ on Sunday, Monday is another bbq at some cunts house I’ve not met.


I just want to sit in my garden and potter in my shed 
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:20, Reply)
I'm finishing work at lunchtime and am working from home this morning
ima build me my last two raised beds this weekend
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:25, Reply)
Sorry to hear that man, I'll be thinking of you when I'm on the beach or lounging by the pool, or indulging in a binge of drugs and booze
You know, basically doing what I want
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:25, Reply)

I Swipe
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:26, Reply)
Okay well maybe that a bit

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:27, Reply)
When I used to smoke, I rarely smoked before noon.
If I did, it was either because shit had gone right down, yo, or I'd just got laid.

Basically my story is I smoked a lot before noon.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:16, Reply)
*puts on sunglasses*
YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:17, Reply)
Must have been a LOT of shit going down

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:23, Reply)
i heard his life was the embodiment of Gonz's bowels

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:26, Reply)
If you wanna fuck with the eagles, you got ta learn to fly.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:27, Reply)
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:30, Reply)
really if you are stuck in a desert you'd have plenty of time to name your horse

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:35, Reply)
"Baby"

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:35, Reply)
you can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:36, Reply)
OHHHHHHHH VIENNA!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:36, Reply)
---------

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:37, Reply)
^means nothing^

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:37, Reply)
I dont "do" umbrellas
Too tall innit. You end up nearly losing an eye
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:37, Reply)
Why does the BBC website election coverage keep crashing firefox?

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:29, Reply)
Because you have a bollock for a head, bollockhead

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:30, Reply)
Sunderland "won" the counts again, I see

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:34, Reply)
Most of the ballot slips had been coloured in, or had X mis-spelt.
The others won't have taken long to count.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:42, Reply)
I like to think they were stood there perplexed as to where the 'Accumulator' check box was

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:54, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Probably another reason why they count so quickly.
Half of the ballot papers include a £5.00 stake, so they have no shortage of volunteers.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 10:04, Reply)
A full english, or BLTs made with croissants
I tried pink grapefruit (I think that's what it was) for breakfast once and it was foul.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:44, Reply)
BLTs made with croissants? B....L....Ts made WITH croissants?

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:45, Reply)
Oui-oui

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:45, Reply)
I used to think that was foodwrong territory
until I was given one by event catering last summer. Molten cheese in the fucker improves it immensely.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:49, Reply)
Or even better, bacon and brie in a croissant.

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 10:14, Reply)
BLTs are shit
Remove L and T and you have a better sandwich
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:49, Reply)
I like them. So long as you get the ratio of bacon to everything else right

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:50, Reply)
100% bacon, 0% lettuce, 0% tomato
Ahhh, I see now
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:52, Reply)
^ TGGI

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:53, Reply)
Hello, I've woken up to find Facebook claiming we're now living
in Mussolini's Italy.
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)
Excellent plans bunga bunga party

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:48, Reply)
Nonce

(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:49, Reply)
I am rather partial to kedgeree if I can be bothered to make it
It's a fine late breakfast.

Worst. Trying to be a gent with a young lady the morning after the night before
(, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:57, Reply)

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