Not had a newslink for a while
Might this be worth getting the popcorn out for?

www.independent.co.uk/news/people/insults-fly-between-piers-morgan-and-joey-barton-ahead-of-bbc1s-question-time-9447965.html

alt: which of the panel is the biggest cunt?

altalt: LUNCH
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:15, 54 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I've been watching their sparring on twitter
Barton thinks he's a clever cunt but he's just a cunt. A proper panel of MPs, etc will tear him a new arse

Alt:
All of them. I hate watching Question Time these days

AltAlt:
I dunno. I have some pitta breads and some couscous but I'm fucking starving
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Desperately needs MOAR baconz
or some sort of meat at least.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:20, Reply)

I had prosciutto wrapped chicken last night
Roasted in the oven until crispy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:22, Reply)

How do you wrap the wine bottle around the chicken?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Insert, my dear
Insert
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:33, Reply)

People thinking they are clever cunts when they're just cunts is precisely why I find POLITICS CHAT interminably dull.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:22, Reply)

THIS^
IN REALLY LARGE FONT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Someone described it best when they said that most off topicers were "autistic knob heads with half baked ideas and overwhelming superiority complexes"
That someone, dear reader, was me.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Hoist by your own petard though....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:31, Reply)

TTJ

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:31, Reply)

it's nobheads
knob is on a door. nob is on your crotch.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:39, Reply)

It's either you knob

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:43, Reply)

please tell me that you have been googling nobs

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:56, Reply)

only hobnobs and other biscuits, for work.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:57, Reply)

Piers Morgan vs a footballer
What a meeting of the minds that must be
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Christ.
Two morons calling each other a moron.

Pop will indeed eat itself.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Two cunts in a cunt contest

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Mrs V was out with a colleague and his brother. His brother goes "You know - even in a twat contest, you'd come second."
To which he responded slowly "Why ... ?"

"because you're a twat."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Haha
Clever stuff
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:29, Reply)

You can't beat the classic "because you're stupid" comeback

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Your mum

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Hmm, good point
See also: Your face
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:33, Reply)

NO U R

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:34, Reply)

If it weren't for the fact that her colleague is naturally quite mellow in his delivery, and he and his brother's sparing renowned in our circles, it would have looked like a set-up

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:39, Reply)

a "cuntest" to find who is cuntest?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:29, Reply)

The Cuntest Cunt who ever Cunted

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Sounds like a famous kids book

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:34, Reply)

Even thinking about Piers Morgan makes me angry.
I realise this isn't a particularly revolutionary view. But my dislike is on a visceral level.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:37, Reply)

this was perhaps not very bright
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/panic-in-lancashire-as-landlord-is-asked-to-remove-sign-advertising-for-pakistani-families-only-9448385.html

but i think "panic" is a bit strong.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 May 2014, 11:38, Reply)

I wouldn't let my house to a brown family with their smelly food and lack of a hygienic toilet method

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:01, Reply)

i was looking at sales particulars for a nightclub in folkstone just now

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:02, Reply)

FolkEstone. Which one?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:03, Reply)

uk.businessesforsale.com/uk/Bar-And-Club-Business-In-Kent-For-Sale.aspx

in the "creative centre" apparently
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:05, Reply)

I can't think where that is, it it on Tontine St?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:07, Reply)

The creative centre of Folkestone is London.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:21, Reply)

oh hahahaha good one

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:26, Reply)

I'm right, though.
Because Folkestone is shit.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:28, Reply)

Along with the rest of the world your opinion is of no interest to me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:34, Reply)

A shame - you're missing out.
I have some great opinions.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:58, Reply)

#chivealive
pi
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 29 May 2014, 13:04, Reply)

#bookert
at en
pi
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 29 May 2014, 13:05, Reply)

I don't currently have access to YouTube
But if you hate Morgan it's worth watching him facing an over of Brett Lee's bowling in the nets.

His bat was merely for decoration, as he never fucking used it. Hilarious.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 29 May 2014, 11:44, Reply)

hee hee!
I'd not watched that before
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Link please.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:18, Reply)

youtu.be/3DZQIjp4vjo
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:19, Reply)

Thanks. That's very good.
Fair play though - I wouldn't want to go up against Lee.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:32, Reply)

I like how the cocky wanker was clearly a bit shocked by it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:35, Reply)

what was Battered shocked by?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 29 May 2014, 13:09, Reply)

ur face

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 May 2014, 13:13, Reply)

afternoon

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:21, Reply)

Piers Morgan was challenging Jeremy Clarkson to a fight a while back.
This was after Clarkson had already clocked Morgan one.
( Kroney, Thu 29 May 2014, 12:25, Reply)