Caxirolas are banned, due to security concerns, at the World Cup. That's HH buggered then. Assuming you had the power, what would you ban, apart from ym?
Alt, I'm on night cover this week, totally fucks my sleep pattern up. What pisses you off about your occupation?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 6:43, 140 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'd ban the burka.
Alt- people trying to wriggle out of agreed fees.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 7:27, Reply)

People walking and then just stopping
In fact - people. People suck.

Alt: agreeing with the hamsterman here
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 7:38, Reply)

I would ban me, or Vietnamese Bánh mì
Alt: Early starts and relentless trudging interminable boredom.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 7:45, Reply)

Why don't you retrain as a budgie trainer?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:03, Reply)

That is a gift I wouldn't feel comfortable using for financial gain.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:04, Reply)

trainer smuggler
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:12, Reply)

In the same way dozer is a hamster 'smuggler'?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:14, Reply)

If it pleases you

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:22, Reply)

It pleases dozer immeasurable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:24, Reply)

I'd ban unions
Alt: the insistence that I wear trousers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:01, Reply)

Ban unions? Controversial.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:21, Reply)

They cause nothing but trouble

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:23, Reply)

What do gou think of professional organisations, those fordocs, briefs etc?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:26, Reply)

As long as they aren't striking and inconveniencing everyone it's all good

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:29, Reply)

Are you a union member?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:32, Reply)

Of course not, do I look like a whinging work shy prick?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:34, Reply)

Dunno what your job is, I know closed shops don't exist anymore.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:36, Reply)

They really do, just walk down your local highstreet
#CONDEMnation
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Someone who spends all day, every day dicking about on the internet during offices hours is totally not slacking off and utterly entitled to sneer at other people for perceived laziness.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:19, Reply)

his taxes pay your salary
he OWNS you, bee-hatch
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:20, Reply)

So do his own.
Technically he's self-employed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:21, Reply)

nobody wants input from the IT department

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:22, Reply)

I still want them to make my printer work
Nerd pricks
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:23, Reply)

good luck with that
my computer is connected to 3 small printers and 2 giant colour printers, and i had a meltdown on friday because not one of the cunts was working. and of course IT never ever ever pick up the phone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:25, Reply)

Someone on Another Forum once tried to argue that I didn't pay tax on account of being a public sector employee.
He got most confused when I told him about all the funny looks I get in shops for demanding they charge me 17.5% less on stuff.

/Uninteresting stories about Stuff I've Done, Online.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:33, Reply)

ironolols

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:26, Reply)

The tragedy here is that I'm here on my own time.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Don't see why underwear models can't have one?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:29, Reply)

I'd insist that everyone joins a union and ban your trousers.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:43, Reply)

I'd like to ban anyone who can't park a car properly.
If you can't learn that, you shouldn't be allowed a car at all.

Alt: the money could be better, but to be honest I'm still enjoying having a social life again and so the job doesn't really bother me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:19, Reply)

Really everyone should be banned from driving apart from me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:21, Reply)

I bet you're a shit driver.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:25, Reply)

I'm an awesome driver and an even better parker

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:28, Reply)

Prove it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:32, Reply)

You can run away in French?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:49, Reply)

Hey windy, I planted out my tomatos yesterday, can't wait for the first crop

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:26, Reply)

I did mine Friday.
I am also very much looking forward to toms
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:32, Reply)

I want to grow some garlic, but it looks like I'm too late planting for a decent crop

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:34, Reply)

Yeah, definitely.
Next year though. I've got some chili plants in as well, one spicy one sweet. Those will be ace. Although I'm now doing daily snail patrols. Stupid slimy cunts
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:43, Reply)

I've found where the slugs live and I have rained down terrible vengeance on them

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:45, Reply)

Can't believe it's been nearly 11 nights since them slugs smashed into the lettuces, it still freaks my nut out to this day.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:06, Reply)

My garlic is growing stupidly well
The leaves are about 3 ft high (and rising)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:10, Reply)

Send us a couple of plants

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:14, Reply)

Alcohol. Dreadful stuff.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:20, Reply)

You'd be squirting hospital hand gel into your mouth after a week

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:21, Reply)

I'd ban tobacco. Sos.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:23, Reply)

Nanny state^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:23, Reply)

I,d leave supernannies back passage in a right state. Bet she'sfilthy.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:28, Reply)

Of course she is, she's fat as butter, there's no way she can clean herself properly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:29, Reply)

I'd say sturdy rather than fat.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:30, Reply)

Good bedside manner^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:33, Reply)

She's in need of a good bum fingering, def.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:37, Reply)

Haven't got to take the dog out until 2. Might go back to bed.
Alright.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:24, Reply)

I hope it shits in your mouth while you sleep

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:32, Reply)

Alright butcher.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:38, Reply)

I'd ban clamato juice because it's disgusting
I'd also ban all non farmed fish to give stocks time to recover
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:25, Reply)

Why is this even a thing?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:42, Reply)

I think you can blame canada

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:43, Reply)

What the fuck is clamato juice?
Is it a bent spastic thing?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:35, Reply)

this^
Tomacco I can get behind
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:40, Reply)

I'd ban pointless prohibition.
Alt: There's nothing specific that pisses me off about my job, just the fact that I have to have one is enough.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:41, Reply)

Just fake some depression and live on benefits

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:44, Reply)

It works for many of our punters.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:46, Reply)

Do you live in Norwich?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Kent.Lot of punters off through depression and booze.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Poor Frog :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:58, Reply)

Prescribe them all budgies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:59, Reply)

Ginger ones?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:04, Reply)

I reckon that'd be well shit though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Shitter than your life currently?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:49, Reply)

I think so, yes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:57, Reply)

Wow, being on benefits must be RUBBISH

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:17, Reply)

I'm not sure I'd ban anything

( Peej, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Carrots in pasties

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Carrot in a pasty is fine, just not in a Cornish pasty.
But thats been banned already.
( Peej, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:57, Reply)

Other than books and carrots?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:53, Reply)

I read a book and ate carrots just yesterday.

( Peej, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:55, Reply)

I am growing purple carrots

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:59, Reply)

I grew my purple carrot up your mum's dirtbox last night

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:03, Reply)

Where did you get the seeds from?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:06, Reply)

I got a present a while back of a pack or purple carrot seeds, tigerella tomatoes, rainbow chard, red sprouts and yellow courgettes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:12, Reply)

Basically I have a gay vegetable patch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:15, Reply)

They love it in the brown

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:18, Reply)

UNITERESTING FACT
Carrots are only orange because the Dutch selectively bred them to be.
( Peej, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:20, Reply)

I already knew this, please try harder with your veg 'factoids'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Butternut squash was originally shaped like a pumpkin until people started to selectively breed them as extreme insertion sex toys.

( Peej, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:24, Reply)

ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:41, Reply)

Can we ban working on Mondays?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Like you do any work.
You just fuck about on B3ta all day.
( Peej, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:55, Reply)

I would rather be busier. I'm fucking bored shitless before normal people even start work.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:57, Reply)

Ki Moon, the shifty cunt
Morning cuntoleles
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:06, Reply)

Morningcow. WE jad a massive rabbit stew yesterday, it was awesome. I lay on the couch all day after stuffing myself :)

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:12, Reply)

I'd ban football. Dull game that's overhyped to dumbass proles as if it mattered
Alt: The admin* work. It seems that every idea someone has to reduce admin just makes more admin.

*It's all computer based so it wouldn't be right to call it 'paperwork'
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Watching football (or any sport) is escapism innit
I can't wait for the World Cup!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:40, Reply)

I had to assist on Saturday when an old lady got knocked down
Proper fucked up she was, broken ankle and leg and head through the windscreen. Claret everywhere
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:42, Reply)

Was there much in her purse?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:43, Reply)

No
:o(
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:48, Reply)

You didn't bum her did you?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:47, Reply)

No
:o(
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:48, Reply)

Sorry to hear that.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:49, Reply)

Maybe you shouldn't text and drive then.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:49, Reply)

I was on my way to a run on the morning
Was about 30 yards from the start line when I heard the bang
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:50, Reply)

Did she wander in to the road or was it the drivers fault?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:53, Reply)

She was in the chevrons in the middle of the road and stepped straight out in front of a car
No chance to even try to brake, straight over the top
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:54, Reply)

What was she thinking?
Probably best if she doesn't survive.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:00, Reply)

Probably "OW! WTF?!"
She has survived but has multiple fractures
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Hopefully she'll catch a super bug in the hospital.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:08, Reply)

I'll cross my fingers as she couldn't

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Overuse of question and exclamation marks!!!!!
There are some seriously quizzical fuckers round here. Every email they type I picture them sitting there with comic book question marks popping up all round their head. Also, I'd ban children's birth day parties. Specifically those taking place at happy fun soft play swingy slidey play areas. Three fucking hours out of my Sunday just so I could sit around trying to read a book and avoid dull conversation with other cunt parents while their cunt fucking kids run around like sweaty beetroots blowing ear-piercing party whistles stinking of sunny delight.

Alt: Other people
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:49, Reply)

We went to one a few weeks ago. We were told it cost seven grand by the cock parents. Cunts.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:51, Reply)

You fucking how much?
I hate people.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:54, Reply)

Most are knobs xx

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:10, Reply)

who throws a party and then tells people how much it cost?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:59, Reply)

cunts of the "upwardly mobile" variety
social climbers, the worst kind of cunts.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:00, Reply)

Cunts who live near us. Fireworks, outside catwring and a helicooter. For a four year old. Absolute cunts.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:01, Reply)

a cat strangling party? bit extreme, can't they just go clubbing?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:03, Reply)

No, its cat wiring
Needs a 10th Dan cat wirer and they COST
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Fuck off, catering. What's wrong with sangwiches and sausage rolls?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:09, Reply)

Battered?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Perfect imagery
Well done
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:53, Reply)

Plus that creepy guy who looks like Zammo, leering at all the mums and rubbing himself in the 'ball pool'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:54, Reply)

rubb drown
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:59, Reply)

Employment of split infinitives.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 9:56, Reply)