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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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GADZOOKS KENNETH, that is a strong GIN
I have just SALTED MY PORK, what have you just done WITH YOUR FRIDAY EVENING?
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:41, 171 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Washed dishes, had a couple of pints, had a 'cocktail' made for me by my stepson and am now on my first glass of wine.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:42, Reply)
you've found a use for him then?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:44, Reply)
It was quite nice, if a rather disturbing shade of green.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:44, Reply)
Creme de Month, the best liqueur period

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:52, Reply)
I'd never liqueur period.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:53, Reply)
Arrived home in f-town, put the washing on, drank some m and s Belgian lager, party for one at my house.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:43, Reply)
*Facebooks*

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:44, Reply)
*bebos*

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:44, Reply)
*My Spaces*

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:44, Reply)
i was in your MUMS MYSPACE LAST NIGHT DEEGEE

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:45, Reply)
There's plenty of it; she disintegrated about 20 years ago!!!!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:46, Reply)
how come you work for the nhs but don't spend all day on here?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:47, Reply)
Because I'm employed via an agency and don't want to fuck up my chances of more work?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:48, Reply)
well G'day there Bruce

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:49, Reply)
I know right?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:50, Reply)
Also, I have a paperclip counting quota,
and I'd never hit my targets if I was fannying around on here all day.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:51, Reply)
Click

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:48, Reply)
haha well played

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:50, Reply)
It's easier just to lob a dogbot through his letter box

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:45, Reply)
It's number 9

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:47, Reply)
What a horrible and crass euphemism

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:44, Reply)
your MUM is a HORRIBLE and CRASS EUPHAMISM

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:44, Reply)
I heard his mum smells of Patak's curry paste.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:45, Reply)
I heard his mum provides the brine for tinned hotdogs

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:48, Reply)
I heard his mum stuffed the hot dogs up her foof
and then laid them in the can before pissing on them.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:49, Reply)
i heard she muff guffs like a flatulent MOOSE

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:50, Reply)
I heard she goes like a shit house door when the plague's in town
and doesn't ask questions.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:52, Reply)
Yer never fuck Paxman, he's all like
"lick my gooch, now your starter for ten, What Byzantian Prince was renowned for living inside a donkey?"
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:54, Reply)
Yeah but she gets paid top dollar for that service

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:45, Reply)
Eschewed pub to come home and budgie sit
The fucking thing just sits there singing. Come out and fly, you Australian twat!
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:47, Reply)
have you considered attaching it to the ceiling by some string so it flies in circles like one of those toy aeroplares?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:49, Reply)
Am I really daft, 'cus I can't really understand this post?
OHHH NOW YOU EDIT IT
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:49, Reply)
It is exactly as it reads!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:50, Reply)
+ after I edited it

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:51, Reply)
He come out and sits on my hand all the time hashtag justsayin

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:50, Reply)
Shut up

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:50, Reply)
maybe it's the salt in your veins?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:51, Reply)
Maybe it's Maybelline

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:51, Reply)
Maybe it's because I have patience to leave him to it for more than three minutes

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:52, Reply)
Funny, that's what swipe said about you.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:53, Reply)
She says worse to me than about me

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:55, Reply)
Those NORTHERNS HAVE SEVERE TONGUES

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:56, Reply)
Venomous, she said something so horrible yesterday I doubt even she remembers.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:57, Reply)
Did she call you....
Wait for it...































A SNAKE?????
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:02, Reply)
No she called me a piss head and a coke head which are terrible lies!!!!!!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:26, Reply)
CUNTPISSSHITFUCKWANKOFF!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:57, Reply)
+d

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:58, Reply)
Bifurcation is not for everyone.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:58, Reply)
If only, drimmy, if only

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:59, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:59, Reply)
He just sat on me
So I pulled him out and sat him on top of the cage. He was most surprised.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:09, Reply)

ut ff
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:14, Reply)
>:(

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:15, Reply)
i garden loled to myself

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:20, Reply)
Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:56, Reply)
Hang on, I know this one...

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:56, Reply)
'The Camel Boy', by S.O.D.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:01, Reply)
Hey Nakey Poo's
in commemoration of the D-day landings I bought a tank yesterday
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 19:59, Reply)
How many fish do you have in it?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:00, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:02, Reply)
I have three fish tanks, and a pond.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:03, Reply)
Two turtles

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:04, Reply)
i beT THIS IS THE SET YUP FOR A HILARIOUS MISREPRESENTATION WEAR YOU'VE JUST BOUGHT A FISH TANK

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:01, Reply)
Keep up.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:01, Reply)
Well yeah, the turtles have out grown the old one

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:04, Reply)
Are they Happy Together?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:05, Reply)
I've got a TURTLE HEAD
DOES THAT COUNT?
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:05, Reply)
Yes, the floppy hair goes really well with it

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:06, Reply)
i dunt have floppy hair afro-jack

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:07, Reply)

jack SAMURAI
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:08, Reply)
+top

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:01, Reply)
G&T and a joint dans le jardin

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:03, Reply)
I want some weed :(

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:05, Reply)
I've got loads, come over

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:06, Reply)
I WILL be in Cov not next week but the week after that I think, MAYBE

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:07, Reply)
I can't wait!!!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:09, Reply)
Will you be wearing your Nu Shooz for the occasion?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:13, Reply)
he didn't turn up last time :(

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:15, Reply)
alright Dozer give Nakers his account back

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:16, Reply)
I did meet dozer

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:20, Reply)
any excuse to get out of Coventry AMIRIGHT

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:21, Reply)
no

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:22, Reply)
Sorry TuiB did I touch a nerve?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:23, Reply)
Yes your words are very hurtful to me harters

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:27, Reply)
I'm really sorry Tangles , will you still love me in the morning?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:35, Reply)
really?
in York?
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:23, Reply)
really
In York
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:25, Reply)
how was it?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:39, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:43, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:49, Reply)
what's with teh SAMURAI REFERENCES?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:07, Reply)
Monty tried to claim that the girly bun on top of his head was actually a well cool samurai thing

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:08, Reply)
WTF?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:08, Reply)
I need to see this please

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:08, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2296453#post2296459
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:10, Reply)
Oh wait, do you mean you want to see his girly bun?
You'll have to meet him for a post-work pint for that
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:11, Reply)
one day Tangires, one day..

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:12, Reply)
hang on does frog only wear t-shirts?
Is swipe dating a teenager?
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:12, Reply)
He hates collars

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:15, Reply)
what does he wear to work? Weddings? etc

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:19, Reply)
Ask him!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:26, Reply)
he is full of lies :(

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:30, Reply)

lies beer
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:38, Reply)
Leather chaps and a ball gag,

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:27, Reply)
Worse than that
He's a bloke in his 30s who still wears the same clothes he wore when he was 18
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:17, Reply)
No I don't they wouldn't fit

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:30, Reply)
lol fatty

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:31, Reply)
Fuck off you grandad shirt awkward looking paedo

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:32, Reply)
new sig right here^

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:34, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/fantasists/post2297243
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:35, Reply)
Just helped a mate break in to his own place as the doorkey snapped in the lock.
I know it is his home, so I'm not adding burglary to my list of current or previous activities.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:09, Reply)
You don't have any mates
Prosecution rests
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:10, Reply)
you crawled through an air intake for him didn't YOU

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:11, Reply)
#furrylittleslag

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:12, Reply)
Cat-flapLolz

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:12, Reply)
What is in your list of previous activities?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:12, Reply)
EPI-SPAZZ ICELAND ASSAULT

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:13, Reply)
YM

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:16, Reply)
I've just done Kenneth.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:20, Reply)
What was the frequency?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:21, Reply)
REM are fucking shit.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:21, Reply)
+ in the toilets with a knife

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:21, Reply)
I got away with it, therefore, it never happened

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:22, Reply)
Yeah like I'm gonna argue with you
alright wee pee how goes it?
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:23, Reply)
Really good,
I've got a weekend in Cornwall with the Ladypig, I'm not going back to Coventry on Monday and I might have figured out what's the next step in the career change.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:27, Reply)
Which part of Corn-land?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:28, Reply)
It is hilariously called Looe

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:30, Reply)
I heard people like Harters call it Toilete

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:31, Reply)
I like Looe, good choice
Kroney went to a really good hotel in Carbis bay on my suggestion
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:32, Reply)
What's nearby we can go and do?
I fancy wandering round a couple old castles or sutin
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:34, Reply)
The lost gardens of heligan is quite nice but a pain to get to.
Tintagel castle is the legendary birth place of king Arthur,I prefer the northern coast line, bredruthen steps is breath taking
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:41, Reply)
And I'd made up the spare bed :(

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:29, Reply)
I tell you what,
My favourite bit of Coventry was the little deli just by the cathedral that did a pint of tea for 85p
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:31, Reply)
Meet me for a pint in a shit pub next time you're here and we can sit in awkward silence for 20 minutes or so

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:34, Reply)
I would have done his time, but with work, drinking and driving is a no

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:35, Reply)
I usually drive better after a couple

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:42, Reply)
Evens out how stoned you are I guess

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:43, Reply)
If I smoke a joint first I can easily sink a few pints without any problems

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:47, Reply)
CLUDO just got real

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:22, Reply)
Hula hoops are NOT GOOD RECEPTACLES FOR HUMMUS

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:23, Reply)
You're doing it wrong
Hook them onto a fork
Dip
Munch
Smack my ass and call me a genius
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:25, Reply)

genius foodwronger
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:26, Reply)
I DOUBLE DIPPED THE FUCK OUT OF THEM

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:27, Reply)

OUT OF THEM

chompy.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:33, Reply)
Do you eat everything with a fork?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:28, Reply)
frog is terrified of blow jobs

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:29, Reply)
Only because women both have teeth and cannot be trusted,

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:37, Reply)
you have a northern, teeth are a bonus

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:39, Reply)
Only because of the slightly strange drink with a straw rules she imposes on herself

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:45, Reply)
Do you eat fucking everything with a fork? I bet you even tried Chompy's cheesy penis with one.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:29, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:29, Reply)
haha even Marrs bars

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:30, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2299062
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:32, Reply)
Missed that, I'll go up and say sorry

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:34, Reply)
use hands for hummus
then neck bag of crisps
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:39, Reply)
cavy, cavy, cavy cavy, AHHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHHH

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:44, Reply)
what tune is that to?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:50, Reply)
Rick Witter's big hit from as few years ago.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:52, Reply)
I'm stoned out of my box and I think I've just swallowed a lemon pip

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:41, Reply)
Sounds like a good friday night then, apart from the lemon pip bit

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:43, Reply)
Cycling ave cbeese catwring

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:43, Reply)
Soz I mean 'drink and drugs are great aren't they?'

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:44, Reply)
Damn that autocorrect!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:45, Reply)
Cycle off you bunt

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:47, Reply)
News LOLS
"Man jailed after going on rampage in Exeter cathedral


Phillijoe pulled down his trousers before climbing on to the altar, breaking a crucifix and punching a 70-year-old"

www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/06/man-jailed-exeter-cathedral-rampage
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:43, Reply)
Did his wife subdue him by throwing a 3x2' priceless 12th century bible?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:45, Reply)
HIYA!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:50, Reply)
*waves*

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:54, Reply)
HIYA!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 20:55, Reply)
i have had roast pork

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 21:13, Reply)
I bet you have.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 21:17, Reply)

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