What the fuck are you knobs doing that's so important you think it's acceptable to go all quiet?
Alt: Lunch
Altalt: Has anyone said weekend plans yet?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:14, 159 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:17, Reply)

yer

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:18, Reply)

W*rking
Shoddy excuse I know! Fucking idiots upstairs have ordered a meeting at 1:30

Alt:
Cheese salad sammich

AltAlt:
Chill out tonight whilst Mrs Cow is out with ehr mates for a meal. ParkRun tomorrow morning at 9am, then general pissing about until Saturday night when its BOYZNEETOOTYAFUCKA to watch the footy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:19, Reply)

When is the football on?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:20, Reply)

Starts at 11pm

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:29, Reply)

That's why I've got Monday off

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:07, Reply)

I had to work a bit too, I'm not a fan.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Working. A bit. Not a lot. It's Friday after all.
Alt: fruit and sushi.
Altalt: boozing and gardening.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:19, Reply)

It's not just Friday, it's payday too.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:21, Reply)

*mid-month pay cheque fives*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:24, Reply)

WEEKLY

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:25, Reply)

Oh, I see
As you were
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:26, Reply)

I WIN!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:28, Reply)

Do you want to buy a guitar.
Rare, 1986 hohner Ex Devil.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:26, Reply)

How much?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:28, Reply)

100
Comes with a case and all.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:28, Reply)

Have you touched it?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Yes

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:36, Reply)

Oh, no thanks then.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:40, Reply)

Is that the Explorer type one?
How much does he want for it?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:30, Reply)

100 pounds?
I'd love to, but I'm a bit strapped right now.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:32, Reply)

It's a weird thing.
Plays nicely, looks the business, but no wants it because they reckon it's an Explorer knock off. Perfectly good guitar in its own right, just hohner have no creativity.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:39, Reply)

I'm watching films, wanking and eating junk food
Everyone else in the office has gone a bit quiet for once #yolo

Alt: I'm thinking more bacon. Yes, I think so.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:21, Reply)

I might get a bacon sarnie

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:22, Reply)

I'm gonna have some spicy mexican ketchup on mine
Might watch This Is The End now
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:24, Reply)

Hang on, looks like Seth Rogen is playing Seth Rogen
this could be shit
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:24, Reply)

Watch 'Worlds End"
It's terrible
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:25, Reply)

I liked it
I think* I'm getting that for Father's Day along with a complete Sister of Mercy CD boxset

*think as in know I'm getting having ordered it myself from Amazon after the missus threw her bank card at me last night. Apparently I'm a 'nightmare' to buy for
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:34, Reply)

I'm not surprised they've gone quiet if you're sitting there cracking one off

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:35, Reply)

ttj

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:36, Reply)

Soz Bill, not really paying full attention

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:38, Reply)

Work shit / people being fucking retards.
You ask people for three simple bits of information regarding a fault: phone number, time of occurence, and the conference meeting ID.

Then three emails following the below pattern

"Yeah, it happened to me yesterday"
"Can you provide the requested information, please"
"Everybody's getting cut off after 15 minutes"
"Could you provide the phone number, time and meeting place ID, please?"
"Meeting ID xxxx"
"At what time and what phone numbers?"
"12:30 and x was dropped, so was z and y"
"What. Were. Their. Phone. Numbers."

And so on.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:23, Reply)

You should check their browsing history and have them fired.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:26, Reply)

I expect it's the same in every job
Somebody complains, you ask them for details, you discover it'd be easier to get blood from a stone rather than have them actually make any effort to do anything other than bleat and whine, let alone something actually useful.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:28, Reply)

To make my job a lot quicker and easier for everyone i require ONE (1) 7 digit number, but these cunts want to tell me their life story first.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:30, Reply)

Violently procrastinating
Alt: fucking tuna sarnie
Altalt: drugs, booze, BBQ and gardening
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:23, Reply)

I have never eaten fucking tuna

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:26, Reply)

He's not eating it, he's fucking a sandwich

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:30, Reply)

I'm not eating it, I'm fucking a sandwich

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:33, Reply)

Yeah well I have still never eaten tuna, regardless of your sandwich fucking activities.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:41, Reply)

Probably wise not to eat one of Two Hat's, either

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:21, Reply)

Buy my guitar.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:28, Reply)

Oh is it yours?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:32, Reply)

No.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:36, Reply)

Alt: cider.
Altalt: I answered this question earlier. Or yesterday.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:26, Reply)

yeah the altalt is just a piece of generic bullshit. i couldn't care less really.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:27, Reply)

Getting sunburnt, swimming and eating barbecued meats.
I also have beer.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:26, Reply)

i wish i was you, today more than ever.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:27, Reply)

If it makes you feel any better I'm by the pool right now using the villa WiFi.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:30, Reply)

Yes, it does (-_-)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:30, Reply)

Fuck these cunts, I'm going for lunch.

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:29, Reply)

I'm just going to sit in the garden and get really stoned
To all questions
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:29, Reply)

YM, repeatedly
Alt: Spicy italian on herb & cheese, with S&V crisps and a cookie.

AltAlt: BBQ, beer, Bioshock.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:30, Reply)

Subway?
I miss Frisbee.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:37, Reply)

I went to burgerking for lunch.
That answers 2 questions.

altalt: I'm on call so it's going to be boring stuff like garden/housework. Might go and see that new Ken Loach film as a treat.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:52, Reply)

Detail the bk meal please.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:53, Reply)

Bacon Double Cheese XL (regular, burger king chips are shit) plus a side of onion rings.
I lifted the lid off the burger and shoved the onion rings inside, obviously.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:54, Reply)

*applauds correct decisions all round*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:55, Reply)

I'd have gone for the double whopper with cheese, no chips, two portions of onion rings.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 13:56, Reply)

FTW.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:20, Reply)

Good choice.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:01, Reply)

Five further responses to my email.
Not a one has included all three bits of information on it. Fucking cunts. Maybe if they can't be bothered reading the email, I can't be bothered fixing the fault, eh?
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Thank fuck I'm getting drunk tonight.
But not *too* drunk as the missus wants to go out tomorrow night.

#thumbofdamocles
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

You and I both know that's not how it works.
They'll start cc'ing your boss in before they start doing as they're told.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

Impotent hate's all I've got left, Gormo.

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:12, Reply)

What time and where?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)

Email them back and tell them you'll ring them all on a conference call

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

For those I really do just move on to something else
if anyone asks I just say "I'm waiting for so-and-so to get back to me with some details".

Half the time if you throw a request back to someone with questions they decide they don't need it that badly after all if it means they have to do some thinking of their own.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Masturbation, crying, self-hate.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:11, Reply)

NO LUNCH CHAT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:12, Reply)

ttj

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:17, Reply)

Flapjacks are all of the ace
Also, getting out of working at the weekend because development have fucked up is excellent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:19, Reply)

Just been asked if I can do release cover Saturday 4am to 10am
Given I'm going out for drinks tonight with internet pissheads I regretfully declined.
Alt: McDonalds as it was next door to the opticiains I went to.
Altalt: Yes.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)

i think they fucked up your prescription

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)

prescription face
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)

Do they call your Vagina Private Eye?
Because it's dry and people laugh at it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)

lol

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:38, Reply)

It's why they call your dick Corbett.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

No, you misheard
They said it was too runny
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:44, Reply)

No warnings. L T fucking I.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:46, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:55, Reply)

lol #1

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:47, Reply)

I've just got this.

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:48, Reply)

You want to get that looked at soon
You don't want to end up like Stunned
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:50, Reply)

even my vagina could spell optician properly

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:52, Reply)

I once saw a woman doing that in Amsterdam
Her writing was neater than a lot of people's handwriting.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:53, Reply)

Well, your tits are so saggy
Salvador Dali tried to set his watch by them.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:12, Reply)

543-8
Yesssssssss
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)

Fuck 547-9

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Fuck
All my 13 inches inside YM.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Your putrid foot doesnt count

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)

That's not what YM said.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:38, Reply)

Fucking hell, that's the worst score line I've ever seen.
Who's playing, Uruguay vs Qatar?
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

U R GAY

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

I don't even know how you'd score that many in 90 minutes.

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:40, Reply)

Remember, you get 30 seconds injury time per goal

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

Bloody cheating South Americans

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

I watched just enough to see that contentious free kick.
I thought that referee was going to get decked.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:44, Reply)

If Root gets injured during this series England are fucked.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:44, Reply)

It's spelled "Rooney" you idiot

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:46, Reply)

Fuck off back to Birmingham.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:49, Reply)

Has anyone else seen 22 Jump Street yet?
Fucking brilliant.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 14:59, Reply)

it's muggy as fuck over here

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

Feels like it might rain here too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:05, Reply)

I'm trying to decide if I'm going to need a jacket for the trip back home tonight.
Having said that, I ent got a waterproof anyway.

May have just answered my own question, there.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)

Sub-thread of the year here
Could someone be a darling and start a new thread with a proper question please?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

It's a shame AA isn't here to get in on this anecdotal awesomeness.

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

You mugging me off you muggy cunt?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)

Lead singer in Muggness^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

^Muggy trousers

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

^Mugg girls mad at me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

^ It must be mugg

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

^mugg step beyond

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

^ Our mugg

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

^house of mugg

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

nu fred

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

+ shit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)