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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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LUNCHTIME BANTS THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 12:53, 170 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Alright?

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 12:58, Reply)
alright
Just studying tax rules.
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 12:59, Reply)
There is only one rule, "pay as little as possible"

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:00, Reply)
there are numerous rules:
CGT, IHT, trading income, NI, income tax, overseas income, residence and domicile etc etc.
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Yeah but most importantly pay as little as possible

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:04, Reply)
the simplest way to pay nothing is to earn nothing
I'm not sure that's particularly good financial advice
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:10, Reply)
are there any that aren't dull as all absolute fuck?

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:07, Reply)
no

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:08, Reply)
Not on here
Oh, you mean tax rules
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:09, Reply)
No smoking

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:23, Reply)
Luckily it's deducted directly from your pay.

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:04, Reply)
I NO RITE! What's that all about?!??

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:06, Reply)
It's to ensure you pay your fair share

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:07, Reply)
Bollocks. I got my letter through showing where my tax goes and how much it cost me
i wept, openly
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:09, Reply)
I hope your bit went mainly towards unemployment benefits

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:10, Reply)
I know right jay's parents are fucking pricks

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:13, Reply)
...

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 12:59, Reply)
HOW IS YOUR HOUSE SEARCH GOING?

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:02, Reply)
More searching this weekend. We're seeing some nice places, I'm looking forward to it.

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:03, Reply)
Spirits not crushed yet then?
Should've bought that barge
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:04, Reply)
So far the only lesson seems to be that London agents are pricks.

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:27, Reply)
I've just bought a spirograph

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 12:59, Reply)
( •_•)

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:00, Reply)
sweet!

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:00, Reply)
cor!
I haven't seen those since primary school!
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:01, Reply)
Special offer on Amazon today
£12.99
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:03, Reply)
That's very cheap for an international multi billion $ company

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:05, Reply)
I thought so, yes

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:06, Reply)
*clicks buy it now*

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:06, Reply)
make sure you tick "Prime" otherwise it's $26 billion delivery

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:08, Reply)
Piss...

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:09, Reply)
I'm having train gin.

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:00, Reply)
You'll need more than that to silence the screaming

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:01, Reply)
think I might be sat in the quiet carriage by mistake
like a morgue in here
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:05, Reply)
Commuter trains are always silent, it's lovely

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:07, Reply)
I've not touched a drop all week
Feels very odd
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:05, Reply)
Had it pumped directly up your botty by the missus eh
very clever, plus stops your breath smelling of booze all the time
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:24, Reply)
Drinking Level: Expert
Expert Cranley
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:33, Reply)


(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:37, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_enema#Incidents
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:37, Reply)
An odd place to abort a baby.
But who am I to judge?
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:12, Reply)
shame his mum didn't try it
about 67 years ago
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Ok bye then!

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:14, Reply)
get bent

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:15, Reply)
ALL ABOARD THE BANTER BUS!!
Anyone know what time it starts?
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:19, Reply)
About 5 minutes after the Vengabus.

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:21, Reply)
the boys inside are bumming each other up the plumbing, it's really quite becoming

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:22, Reply)

www.dailydot.com/lol/golden-retriever-dog-competition-fail/?fb=dd
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:22, Reply)
Fuck off with your 'adorable dogs'

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:26, Reply)
that was genius
i love golden retrievers. he didn't give a fuck.

shame they make me sneeze like a little genetic fail bitch :(
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:26, Reply)

sneeze like
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:34, Reply)
Friday lunchtime beer
There may be food involved as well
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:25, Reply)
Yo Monty, choice is poor
Do I pick Martell or Courvoisier
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:26, Reply)
secret option 3
swallow 10 razor blades
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:27, Reply)
I used to like you.
Frog can have all your like points now
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:31, Reply)
I'm seriously starting to question his choice in girlfriend.

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:31, Reply)
I know rite!
Its like he's smart and funny and the best one here (after me) yet he made terrible choice in woman.
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:36, Reply)
It's a rebound relationship, isn't it
Remember when he first came here he was all bloobloo about some bird who'd dumped him and how he was on antidepressants?
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:37, Reply)
Perhaps he would have been better off killing himself?

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:38, Reply)
i am 100% sure he would agree with this

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:41, Reply)
You're just upset I'm not here today
I forgive you
(Not you tangles)
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:41, Reply)
Oh so no forgiveness for me then?
FINE!
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:42, Reply)
Only forgiveness for you mate, not that patchwork waistcoated smelly hippy Ian

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:43, Reply)
Sorry, I missed the lack of comma
Don't kill yourself though, honestly it will sort itself out, she'll probably leave you or something
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:46, Reply)
MODS!!!
Please can the off topic mod edit out the bit about me wearing patchwork waistcoats?
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:48, Reply)
B3th is so fucking shit she'll probably delete you instead

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:51, Reply)
Never mind that, WHERE ARE OUR FUCKING ICONS, B3TH??

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:52, Reply)
I just noticed I have a icon despite turning it off
MOD CUNTS
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:53, Reply)
Where are you then, if you're not here?

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:42, Reply)
There

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:43, Reply)
dunno soz

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:44, Reply)
Perhaps you should go and find yourself maybe

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:46, Reply)
I did, turns out I'm at work again

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Well that's shit

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Ah fuck, so am I

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:49, Reply)
clumsy

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:04, Reply)
suicide is always better than compromise

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:41, Reply)
Tell that to my dad!

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:53, Reply)
SPELLCASTING
R
E
S
U
R
R
E
C
T
I
O
N
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:55, Reply)
Just have babycham.

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:32, Reply)
Hey! I'll have a babycham!

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:42, Reply)
prolly goin to preorder that Taxi Driver reissue

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:56, Reply)
You know they'll miss the delivery time and when you phone to complain
It'll turn up, but with a shit excuse.
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:12, Reply)
I am drinking Clementine juice.
It is somewhat tart.
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:57, Reply)
you are, you mean

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:02, Reply)
youn are somewhat tart

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:03, Reply)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR LUNCH
ACK
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Lunchtime was ages ago
You'll have to wait for afternoon tea now
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:00, Reply)
alright mr provincial, calm down

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:11, Reply)
2 Pavlova?

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:13, Reply)
3 Ulanova?

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:17, Reply)
una paloma blanca?

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:18, Reply)
Oi drinks at all of the toime!

(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:19, Reply)
Sorry the answer I have on the card is
"Fuck it, we'll have the whole bottle"
(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 14:20, Reply)

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