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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good afternoon my internet chums
I'd like to know about the best and worst things that are due to happen this weekend please THANKYOUSIR

I've got to do yet more overtime and also empty my kitchen/dining room as the wall is going to be smashed down next week. I've also got loads of seeds to plant in the garden to grow 'ting

Alt:
Most disappointing ending
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:55, 126 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Best thing. I'm going to the pub.
Worst thing, it's a shit pub.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:56, Reply)
Also need to trim my beard.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:56, Reply)
I had a shave for the first time in over a week last night
It HURT
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:57, Reply)
Aww poor sporters.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:59, Reply)
I look about 10 years younger when I shave
I dont know why I dont do it more often
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:02, Reply)
I do like them 10 years younger.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:04, Reply)
dickhead

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:06, Reply)
Because after four days of consecutive shaving you'd look like a one or two year old.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:06, Reply)
I like me young

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:28, Reply)

me will


Bit gay m8
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)
I THINK YOU BETTER LEAVE
RIGHT NOW
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)
Lol

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)
Oops I mean
' I don't get this! Is it lyrics to a will young song because I definitely don't know any!!?!'
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:33, Reply)
^ Gareth Gates fan

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)
Gareth GAYtes more like!!!!

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)
F F F F F F F F F F F F FF F F F
cunt
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)
Sh-sh-sh-shshshshshut up

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:36, Reply)
bit of sudacrem between the thighs and ballsack and you'll be fine

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)
sexy as fuck mate

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)
It really is
My centre parting is well kept
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:01, Reply)
no it taint

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)
It could do with a spot of Grecian.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)
I'm not even Greek!

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:30, Reply)
I thought you muzzers were big on beards?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:01, Reply)
Not today SIR

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:01, Reply)
We are, but I've got to sneak into Syria next week and it's easier to get to turkish resorts if you look a bit common.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)
I was asked the other day where I'd been on holiday
Apparently I'm a "bit" brown
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)
Sleaford Mods tonight.
Prolly the rugby tomorrow will be the worst because I'll be drunk by mid afternoon and it'll be one of those shit final weekends where it's decided on point difference after the final match.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:59, Reply)
Hoping that the antibiotics will reduce the huge swelling in my throat
I look like a hamster storing food...


alt: I will check with the wife and get back to you on that
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:02, Reply)
I got that when I had the mumps.
Having one of my bollocks become lemon-sized was less fun than it sounds.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)
I have an abscess on my throat which is exactly as sexy as it sounds

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:13, Reply)
Alright Crow
I don't really know what we're doing this weekend so imma say the best thing will be having a nice meal out somewhere, this isn't planned at all but it's what I want to happen. The worst thing will be changing the bedding on that massive bed, it's a two man job and I don't live with another man.

Other good things may include budgies and lager, more information will be provided as and when it becomes available.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)
Best thing, going to football on Sunday.
Worst thing, the likely result.

Alt: The Italian Job.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)
Alt: Filmed* in Coventry, Midlandsfans!


*partly
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)
best thing will be buying work shirts
Worst thing will be having to choose the accessories.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)
Do it all online.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:09, Reply)
I prefer clothes shopping when I can try stuff on

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)
It's a shirt. if you know your collar size, you buy.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:12, Reply)
^ likes hanging round the changing rooms at TkMaxx ^

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:14, Reply)
judging everyone by your own standards again

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
dickhead

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:20, Reply)
dickhead

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)
tggi

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)
what fucking accessories do you need with shirts you utter spastic
cufflinks are cufflinks get silver ones and you are fine. That's all there is to it.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:12, Reply)
cufflinks and ties you pleb

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:16, Reply)
No collar bar? No tie pin?
Get your act together mate, or you'll end up just looking like a prick rather than a complete prick.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:18, Reply)
And spats.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:20, Reply)
I thought you were buying shirts

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)
i have specific spats to go with different shirts
Dress from the feet up mate
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)
Step one: clown shoes....

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)
With shoes that big, there is no step two

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)
Important you get cufflinks that go with your facial piercings.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:21, Reply)
How many ties do you need?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)
Some people like to dress nicely dickhead, you might be alright with your one 'comedy' tie covered in gravy and pastry flakes but some people make an effort.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:26, Reply)
I didn't mean to diss your homie and gaz confidante. Apologies.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)
Everyone gazzes me m8, I'm popular.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:37, Reply)
Ties are a seperate piece of clothing
you might as well say socks numbnuts...

I mentioned cufflinks already anything other than silver means you are a vulgar wannabe
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)
What else would you wear a tie with other than a shirt? Accessory, Soz.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:34, Reply)
Around your head, playing cowboys and indians?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:36, Reply)
Yah, we all put our ties round our heads at Jasper and Cressida's wedding, Nakers' idea, totes hilar!

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:40, Reply)
Stop trying to be funny.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)
I use one as a makeshift belt

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:42, Reply)

makeshift chastity
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)
Who wears a tie these days
open collar is where it is at.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:43, Reply)
Yes, that's nice, but isn't an answer to my question where I quite clearly have pwnd you in an internet argument

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:44, Reply)
so, yah boo sucks to be you
jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2484179
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
THIS ISN'T OVER BONZODOG

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)
I shall mark your words

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:52, Reply)
3/10 see me

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:55, Reply)
dog collar

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:45, Reply)

5.9.83.79/talk/7808328
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:46, Reply)
wise words from The Last Good One Here

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
he is wrong though

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:52, Reply)
nuh uh
If you have to wear a suit because you're a bank teller or an estate agent or one of those other poor cunts then you definitely have to wear a tie

If you're wearing the rest of the suit but no tie then you're basically telling the world that you aspire to be an estate agent but you can't yet tie a tie
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:55, Reply)
I am wearing a 3 piece suit with shirt and cufflinks and no tie
you can touch me if you want
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:02, Reply)
Bit overkill for an IT department, no?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:04, Reply)
It's one of those t-shirts that look like a suit

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
bonz is sooooo kewl

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:08, Reply)
its marl grey too

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)
Tea coloured?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:21, Reply)
I see what you did there

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:31, Reply)
Ties are generally for cunts tbh.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
how the fuck do you hitch a double windsor around a snatch?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
With love.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:49, Reply)
in pink out brown?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:52, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)


(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:54, Reply)
Ask Prince Harry?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:54, Reply)
two puns for the price of one

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)
dickhead tbh

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:49, Reply)
I was planning on having a quiet weekend in front of the telly with my hand down the front of my jogging bottoms.
But I'm getting an itch to go to the pub already.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:11, Reply)
+ and put my hand down the fornt of my jogging bottomes

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:12, Reply)
They're my house trousers; I wear jeans outside.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:55, Reply)
HIYA!!!
Yet another date tomorrow. Bit of afternoon drinking. Lovely.
alt. I was a bit underwhelmed at how #cucumberbananatofu ended.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:27, Reply)
still at least you are stopping the old
promiscuous gay stereotype
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:51, Reply)
How long does it take from the first drink to the cubicle?

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:52, Reply)
No wonder you were a shit GP if you don't even understand the bladder

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)
and now he doesn't understand the bladdered, either

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:59, Reply)
Haha

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:59, Reply)
:)

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:01, Reply)
Are you checking me on Linkedin again? Calm down dear.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)
No, I know you were a GP because that was all you talked about like we should be impressed, then when you realised no one gave a shit you pretended you bought a pub instead which is equally dull.
'Hope this helps'
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:03, Reply)
It does thanks.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)
dickhead

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)
dickhead

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
DOCTORS, PUBLICANS, BUDGIES...

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)
lend me your rears

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
...for I come to bugger Caesar, not to prey on him.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:10, Reply)
Beware the gay pride march

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)
*golf clap*

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:22, Reply)
I was quite pleased with that one

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:24, Reply)
It's an out and out winner

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:26, Reply)
I don't do toilet sex dear.
Im not a giddy teenager
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)
Sonic Boom tonight, loads of synth related stuff tomorrow.
I suppose I'll have to deal with my family at some point over the weekend though.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)
HADUOKEN!!

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)
SPINNING BIRD KICK

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)
FINISH HIM!!
oops, that'll be tomorrow, won't it
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)
here's hoping!

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
^had ken

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:04, Reply)
haha!
He's a Barbie girl
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:18, Reply)
My boss' brother has been hospitalised with kidney stones.
Five of them.

The smallest is a centimetre across.

The first thing I did? Went for a wee and a glass of water.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:02, Reply)
Of particular worry to gouty types like you.

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:10, Reply)
Fucking hell
The sportspine has gone again. OW!
(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:25, Reply)
Those small evergreen trees can be tricky

(, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:32, Reply)

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