Good afternoon my internet chums
I'd like to know about the best and worst things that are due to happen this weekend please THANKYOUSIR

I've got to do yet more overtime and also empty my kitchen/dining room as the wall is going to be smashed down next week. I've also got loads of seeds to plant in the garden to grow 'ting

Alt:
Most disappointing ending
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:55, 126 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Best thing. I'm going to the pub.
Worst thing, it's a shit pub.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:56, Reply)

Also need to trim my beard.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:56, Reply)

I had a shave for the first time in over a week last night
It HURT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:57, Reply)

Aww poor sporters.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:59, Reply)

I look about 10 years younger when I shave
I dont know why I dont do it more often
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:02, Reply)

I do like them 10 years younger.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:04, Reply)

dickhead

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:06, Reply)

Because after four days of consecutive shaving you'd look like a one or two year old.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:06, Reply)

I like me young

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:28, Reply)

me will


Bit gay m8
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)

I THINK YOU BETTER LEAVE
RIGHT NOW
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)

Lol

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)

Oops I mean
' I don't get this! Is it lyrics to a will young song because I definitely don't know any!!?!'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:33, Reply)

^ Gareth Gates fan

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)

Gareth GAYtes more like!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)

F F F F F F F F F F F F FF F F F
cunt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)

Sh-sh-sh-shshshshshut up

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:36, Reply)

bit of sudacrem between the thighs and ballsack and you'll be fine

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)

sexy as fuck mate

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)

It really is
My centre parting is well kept
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:01, Reply)

no it taint

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)

It could do with a spot of Grecian.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)

I'm not even Greek!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:30, Reply)

I thought you muzzers were big on beards?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:01, Reply)

Not today SIR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:01, Reply)

We are, but I've got to sneak into Syria next week and it's easier to get to turkish resorts if you look a bit common.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)

I was asked the other day where I'd been on holiday
Apparently I'm a "bit" brown
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)

Sleaford Mods tonight.
Prolly the rugby tomorrow will be the worst because I'll be drunk by mid afternoon and it'll be one of those shit final weekends where it's decided on point difference after the final match.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 13:59, Reply)

Hoping that the antibiotics will reduce the huge swelling in my throat
I look like a hamster storing food...


alt: I will check with the wife and get back to you on that
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:02, Reply)

I got that when I had the mumps.
Having one of my bollocks become lemon-sized was less fun than it sounds.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)

I have an abscess on my throat which is exactly as sexy as it sounds

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:13, Reply)

Alright Crow
I don't really know what we're doing this weekend so imma say the best thing will be having a nice meal out somewhere, this isn't planned at all but it's what I want to happen. The worst thing will be changing the bedding on that massive bed, it's a two man job and I don't live with another man.

Other good things may include budgies and lager, more information will be provided as and when it becomes available.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)

Best thing, going to football on Sunday.
Worst thing, the likely result.

Alt: The Italian Job.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)

Alt: Filmed* in Coventry, Midlandsfans!


^*partly
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)

best thing will be buying work shirts
Worst thing will be having to choose the accessories.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)

Do it all online.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:09, Reply)

I prefer clothes shopping when I can try stuff on

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)

It's a shirt. if you know your collar size, you buy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:12, Reply)

^ likes hanging round the changing rooms at TkMaxx ^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:14, Reply)

judging everyone by your own standards again

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)

dickhead

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:20, Reply)

dickhead

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)

tggi

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)

what fucking accessories do you need with shirts you utter spastic
cufflinks are cufflinks get silver ones and you are fine. That's all there is to it.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:12, Reply)

cufflinks and ties you pleb

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:16, Reply)

No collar bar? No tie pin?
Get your act together mate, or you'll end up just looking like a prick rather than a complete prick.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:18, Reply)

And spats.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:20, Reply)

I thought you were buying shirts

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)

i have specific spats to go with different shirts
Dress from the feet up mate
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)

Step one: clown shoes....

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)

With shoes that big, there is no step two

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)

Important you get cufflinks that go with your facial piercings.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:21, Reply)

How many ties do you need?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)

Some people like to dress nicely dickhead, you might be alright with your one 'comedy' tie covered in gravy and pastry flakes but some people make an effort.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:26, Reply)

I didn't mean to diss your homie and gaz confidante. Apologies.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)

Everyone gazzes me m8, I'm popular.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:37, Reply)

Ties are a seperate piece of clothing
you might as well say socks numbnuts...

I mentioned cufflinks already anything other than silver means you are a vulgar wannabe
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)

What else would you wear a tie with other than a shirt? Accessory, Soz.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:34, Reply)

Around your head, playing cowboys and indians?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:36, Reply)

Yah, we all put our ties round our heads at Jasper and Cressida's wedding, Nakers' idea, totes hilar!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:40, Reply)

Stop trying to be funny.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)

I use one as a makeshift belt

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:42, Reply)

makeshift chastity
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)

Who wears a tie these days
open collar is where it is at.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:43, Reply)

Yes, that's nice, but isn't an answer to my question where I quite clearly have pwnd you in an internet argument

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:44, Reply)

so, yah boo sucks to be you
jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2484179
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)

THIS ISN'T OVER BONZODOG

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)

I shall mark your words

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:52, Reply)

3/10 see me

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:55, Reply)

dog collar

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:45, Reply)

5.9.83.79/talk/7808328
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:46, Reply)

wise words from The Last Good One Here

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)

he is wrong though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:52, Reply)

nuh uh
If you have to wear a suit because you're a bank teller or an estate agent or one of those other poor cunts then you definitely have to wear a tie

If you're wearing the rest of the suit but no tie then you're basically telling the world that you aspire to be an estate agent but you can't yet tie a tie
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:55, Reply)

I am wearing a 3 piece suit with shirt and cufflinks and no tie
you can touch me if you want
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:02, Reply)

Bit overkill for an IT department, no?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:04, Reply)

It's one of those t-shirts that look like a suit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)

bonz is sooooo kewl

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:08, Reply)

its marl grey too

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)

Tea coloured?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:21, Reply)

I see what you did there

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:31, Reply)

Ties are generally for cunts tbh.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)

how the fuck do you hitch a double windsor around a snatch?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)

With love.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:49, Reply)

in pink out brown?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:52, Reply)

hahaha!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:54, Reply)

Ask Prince Harry?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:54, Reply)

two puns for the price of one

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)

dickhead tbh

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:49, Reply)

I was planning on having a quiet weekend in front of the telly with my hand down the front of my jogging bottoms.
But I'm getting an itch to go to the pub already.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:11, Reply)

+ and put my hand down the fornt of my jogging bottomes

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:12, Reply)

They're my house trousers; I wear jeans outside.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:55, Reply)

HIYA!!!
Yet another date tomorrow. Bit of afternoon drinking. Lovely.
alt. I was a bit underwhelmed at how #cucumberbananatofu ended.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:27, Reply)

still at least you are stopping the old
promiscuous gay stereotype
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:51, Reply)

How long does it take from the first drink to the cubicle?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:52, Reply)

No wonder you were a shit GP if you don't even understand the bladder

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)

and now he doesn't understand the bladdered, either

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:59, Reply)

Haha

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:59, Reply)

:)

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:01, Reply)

Are you checking me on Linkedin again? Calm down dear.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)

No, I know you were a GP because that was all you talked about like we should be impressed, then when you realised no one gave a shit you pretended you bought a pub instead which is equally dull.
'Hope this helps'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:03, Reply)

It does thanks.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)

dickhead

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)

dickhead

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)

DOCTORS, PUBLICANS, BUDGIES...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)

lend me your rears

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)

lol

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)

...for I come to bugger Caesar, not to prey on him.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:10, Reply)

Beware the gay pride march

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)

*golf clap*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:22, Reply)

I was quite pleased with that one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:24, Reply)

It's an out and out winner

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:26, Reply)

I don't do toilet sex dear.
Im not a giddy teenager
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)

Sonic Boom tonight, loads of synth related stuff tomorrow.
I suppose I'll have to deal with my family at some point over the weekend though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)

HADUOKEN!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)

SPINNING BIRD KICK

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)

FINISH HIM!!
oops, that'll be tomorrow, won't it
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)

here's hoping!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)

^had ken

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:04, Reply)

haha!
He's a Barbie girl
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:18, Reply)

My boss' brother has been hospitalised with kidney stones.
Five of them.

The smallest is a centimetre across.

The first thing I did? Went for a wee and a glass of water.
( Kroney, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:02, Reply)

Of particular worry to gouty types like you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:10, Reply)

Fucking hell
The sportspine has gone again. OW!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:25, Reply)

Those small evergreen trees can be tricky

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 20 Mar 2015, 15:32, Reply)