It's Friday, I'm on holiday and it's raining
I was going to take the Doris and her mental Jack Russell* for a long countryside walk somewhere nice, hopefully finding a pub in which to have lunch along the way. Due to the shit British Easter weather I won't be doing that.

Other than DMAAKM what do you suggest I do? What are your plans for this first day off of the Easter weekend?

Alt: Are you working today? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

*Jack Russells FTW
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 8:55, 129 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I've just ordered myself a Marmite Easter egg.
Take that, bitchez.

Alt: yes, fail. Off on Monday tho'.
( .Yeti., Fri 3 Apr 2015, 8:58, Reply)

All dogs are shit and cunts and shouldn't be allowed in pubs.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 9:14, Reply)

Don't make me hurt you

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 9:16, Reply)

You've got to have steely determination at being a miserable bastard to not like a pub dog.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 10:01, Reply)

In pubs I've seen more well-behaved dogs than well-behaved kids

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 10:18, Reply)

Exactly. The dog gets a bit of fuss and maybe a half of mild and some crisps. Everyone's a winner.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 10:25, Reply)

I'm going for a walk
because I'm not a timorous fey nancy who's scared of a bit of rain.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 9:43, Reply)

I hope you don't get pneumonia and die

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 10:17, Reply)

pneumonia? terrible head cold more like

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 11:48, Reply)

we survived
soz
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:32, Reply)

Jack Russells are pricks.
They're abundant with small dog syndrome.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 10:01, Reply)

Might get wankered

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 11:25, Reply)

on breasts?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 12:10, Reply)

I am out for dinner in a bit.
tomorrow I am going to Bang Cock.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 12:11, Reply)

I just had a partial English.
It was good.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 13:53, Reply)

What was on it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 13:56, Reply)

Bacon sausage beans and chorizo instead of black pudding.
Brown bread instead of white, which is a abomination but it's what I had available.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 13:58, Reply)

One of my mates said 'When I make a fry up I usually only have bacon and eggs'.
To which I pointed out that what he described was 'bacon and eggs' not a fucking fry-up.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 14:58, Reply)

Is your mate Trevor Cleaver?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 16:14, Reply)

Just got back from the big city. Spongecake movie was excellent, better than I thought it would be.
Working in a minute, looks like a busy one. Re the earlier conversation, dogs are excellent in the pub, ours loves it, the scrounging git, he's a peperoni hoover.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 15:06, Reply)

Back of the net!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 16:27, Reply)

Bollocks.
1-1
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 16:31, Reply)

Hi everyone!
I'm catching up on the weeks telly and I'm having some gin, rum and vodka cans.
I'm very much enjoying Inside No 9. Very well written.
Getting my shopping delivered later. Lovely.
There's a potato shaped dent in my sofa.
Judge Rinder next
TALKING!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:36, Reply)

I've not seen the new series of inside no 9. However I thought the silent one they did in the first series was spectacular.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:38, Reply)

Yes, very clever.
I loved the sardines one too in the wardrobe and the understudy one where the episode was essentially Macbeth.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:43, Reply)

Bit of stuff in the garage.
Dismantled a vertical mill and a band saw into pieces small enough to go in the car so I can scrap them.
Sharpened chainsaw.
Missus is painting.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:37, Reply)

Chainsaws are great, one of my favourite power driven tools :)

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:54, Reply)

I went past a drilling school when I went to the pub at lunchtime and decided I'd made some poor decisions.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:57, Reply)

Drilling school?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:02, Reply)

offshore drilling
He lives in Aberdeen.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:03, Reply)

My old man worked scaffolding on the rigs a while, made a fucking fortune.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:07, Reply)

I bet.
Average salary for an offshore worker is 73k.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:11, Reply)

Just phoned him, the equivalent today would be 140k, two weeks on, two off. The divers made stupid amounts.
Although it's vulgar to discuss money.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:16, Reply)

Fracking moron
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:07, Reply)

fracking has nothing to do with offshore drilling

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:11, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:57, Reply)

alright

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:58, Reply)

evil nine y/n

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:58, Reply)

I don't know if I've ever heard them.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 17:59, Reply)

youtube their remix of Music by Ils

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:01, Reply)

It's really 'alright'
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:02, Reply)

not with you posting, it's not

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:03, Reply)

Still more liked than thou
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:06, Reply)

Alright Jay, how's sunny Manchester?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:07, Reply)

His silence, I think, speaks volumes.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:14, Reply)

I think he's dead.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:21, Reply)

damning with faint praise

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 18:12, Reply)

Friday thread.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 19:57, Reply)

Friday thread

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:04, Reply)

Got to scroll down on Friday thread
Everybody's looking forward to the newsletter, newsletter
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:11, Reply)

It's not very good really, is it?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:16, Reply)

Pub busy today?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:25, Reply)

Getting that way, yep.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:30, Reply)

I'm staying in tonight
No booze. Plenty of films to watch though.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:21, Reply)

What you watching?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:25, Reply)

pirates the hof caribbean

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 20:52, Reply)

Might watch Guardians of the galaxy
Might watch John dies at the end
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:00, Reply)

the robocop remake's good

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:00, Reply)

Predator, Trainspotting, Hallowe'en, Cocoon

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:00, Reply)

Terminator, Henry's Cat, Poseidon

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:01, Reply)

House

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:03, Reply)

Candyman, Poltergeist, Taken, Hostel

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:08, Reply)

Commando

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:13, Reply)

Microfibre boxers actually

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:17, Reply)

mfba?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:19, Reply)

men fucking boys anally

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Apr 2015, 21:23, Reply)