morning
Alt: naked chutney.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:19, 47 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

gid moaning
alt: not a fan of preserves, dressed or undressed.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:22, Reply)

nancy dell'olio y/n

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:35, Reply)

Probably not.
Can't really remember what she looks like, but I'd imagine she's a fair bit older than me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:38, Reply)

she's on the over fifty list

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:50, Reply)

+ mm wide

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:56, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb6GdFr-0bE
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:41, Reply)

yes please to all

( $$ ✅, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:42, Reply)

grilled asparagus and samphire
makes your piss and your belches stinky
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:45, Reply)

asparagus must be one of the fastest acting substances known to man

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:46, Reply)

i never believed my friend when he went on about asparagus wee until i saw one of the austin powers movies and had to admit it is a thing
THEN i learned that it's not that some people's bodies don't make the smell; it's just that they can't smell it. #pissshame.

also, my friend went to a srsly fancy wedding in a marquee in the garden of the bride's stately home. turns out that serving asparagus is a massive mistake when you have outdoor toilets because the father of the bride doesn't want all the guests messing up his house.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:48, Reply)

You didn't believe that there was such a thing as asparagus until you saw it in an Austin Powers film?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:05, Reply)

i grew up in the north
we only had potatoes and coal
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:05, Reply)

Grim.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:10, Reply)

sometimes only one at a time
you can burn potatoes, but coal doesn't taste so good.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:13, Reply)

dunno mate ... smoking crack gets into the system pretty quick
and I've heard good things about intra veinous heroin
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:49, Reply)

e by gum

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:51, Reply)

Is anyone going to bother posting today or shall I get on with some work?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:45, Reply)

^upset

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:45, Reply)

dunno to all

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:47, Reply)

I'm going to get a cup of tea then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:56, Reply)

seems like a good idea, you won't miss anything new

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:12, Reply)

i'm surprised he can bring himself to drink tea
what sort of a butcher can pour boiling water over helpless little leaves?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:13, Reply)

I think he might be a baddie.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:16, Reply)

your job y/n

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:48, Reply)

I think I'd be more suited to a life of leisure

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)

oh come on ... who doesn't want to spend more hours in the office?

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:56, Reply)

crikey, somebody fell out the wrong side of the yurt this morning

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:49, Reply)

Shambolic's Fault

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:49, Reply)

Stop ruining the internet!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:50, Reply)

:(

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)

( D
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:54, Reply)

oh i dunno
who doesn't want to be lectured about their choice in balsamic vinegar, because apparently shambles has a phd in that too?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:54, Reply)

you sound upset

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:58, Reply)

very upset

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:58, Reply)

yeah, i'm thinking of going up to waitrose and smashing all their bottles of balsamic

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:01, Reply)

have you managed to get upset about a message on the internet in a conversation you weren't even involved in?
that's pretty impressive
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:02, Reply)

yes, that's the point to take away here
well done dear
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:04, Reply)

I've ruined the internet for her

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:59, Reply)

best to sit back and enjoy the smell of your own guffs

( $$ ✅, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)

let's cuddle and enjoy each other's

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:56, Reply)

x x x

( $$ ✅, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:58, Reply)

guff guff guff

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 8:59, Reply)

The slightly ruder episode of Ivor the Engine

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:11, Reply)

I might pop to the lav and drop an Idris

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 28 Apr 2015, 9:12, Reply)