Insulation
My house - upstairs especially - can be an icebox, so I figured that it was time to do something about it. I rang the council to ask if they offered subsidies for insulation. They do, and offered to send round their preferred contractor for a quote.

Now, the design of my house is such that I was fully expecting him to say that a couple of walls and ceilings would need to come down, at least partially. I was also expecting that the subsidy would be for a couple of hundred quid, and means-tested at that. Overall, I was braced to have to shell out a couple of thousand. I didn't like that, but figured that it'd cut bills, make the study useable in winter, add value to the house, and do my bit for gobal warming - so I was prepared to bite the bullet.

The ballpark estimate? No significant building work - I can do that all myself with tools I own in an afternoon - and a total cost of FIFTY POUNDS. I love Manchester City Council and its generous subsidies.

And the lesson, I guess, is that y'all should get in touch with your councils to see what they can offer you. They probably have cash ringfenced for the taking...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 12:05, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's the fluffy roof stuff.
My house is too old for cavities.

I just like the idea that, although it's an easy and cheap job for me to do myself, it's still cheaper and easier to have someone do it for me...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Don't you just love how rock and roll we all are on here.
.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 12:53, Reply)

Er...
I got very drunk once, and passed out in the garage at a mates house.

I decided it would be a good idea to protect against the biting cold, so I slept in a crude nest of fluffy-insulation-stuff.

I thought I was gonna itch myself down to the bone.
Never again.
( Cawl, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 12:58, Reply)

You think that's bad
My house is bloody freezing.


Imnek Sivudlerk.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 13:16, Reply)

My spand branking new
flat (ok it's just over 3 years old) already has loft insulation (I live on the top floor of a three storey block), and my boiler is wrapped in foil so it looks like a giant robot.

All this talk has made me want to paint the boiler so it looks like R2-D2 now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 13:38, Reply)

Bum my senseless...
what?

My cock is fairly senseless, what with the bodged circumcision. Do you want to bum my cock?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 13:50, Reply)

heating
We had an old gas boiler/hot-water tank set up in our house. After we exercised our right to buy last May, I found out about the Warm Sure grant (or whatever it's called) from the government.

They came round, stripped the old system out and replaced it with a fab new combi-unit plus 2 years free service and about 2 dozen energy-saving lightbulbs. It cost us not one penny.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 13:58, Reply)

I did my own insulation
Cost me 200 quid (this included the price of the ladder and a light and a saw) and it was fluffy lovely non-irritant eco-wool rather than awful yellow itch stuff.

I was not eligible for a grant as Bristol is full of chavs who soak up all the money. Pass me my copy of the Daily Mail - it's next to my National Trust membership card.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 14:31, Reply)

you left out
bile. There was bile too.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 14:54, Reply)

And spunk.
Tasty AND insulating.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 14:54, Reply)

or
On the other hand, bitterness tinged with regret and a yearning for times gone by current makes an excellent insulation material. Especially if the times gone by current contain long hair and big misspelled txtspk words.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 15:27, Reply)

girl child with cups of tea.
Close second.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 15:46, Reply)

we play with glitter a lot
Glitter and screwdrivers. And petrol.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 15:52, Reply)

Petrol and screwdrivers?
Fuckin' awesome.
I hate glitter though.
( Cawl, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Yeah...
But glitter makes me think of sand.
So I don't like it.

The BEST thing to put in petrol, obviously, is a bar of soap that you've run through a cheese-grater.
Failing that, polystyrene beads work well.
( Cawl, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:04, Reply)

Haha
Napalm is so easy to make. A friend made some when he was 15 and it was used to burn down a local church roof. There's still a 2 grand reward on his head..
(lost, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:08, Reply)

Yep,
Napalm is awesome.

I've not got a bounty on me though.
*looks around slowly*

*runs*
( Cawl, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:12, Reply)