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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:32, 163 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Someone else provide the entertainment, please.
Oh! Hello Badger. How's your day been?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:34, Reply)

*shakes her booty*
I am off to my mums later. I have put my keys UNDER the box I have to take to her. Odds I will still forget?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:37, Reply)

Can you put the box next to the front door so that you trip over it?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:40, Reply)

I'd probably trip over the box, get angry and smash it into pieces.
This is not very helpful.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:46, Reply)

Bert. It may make moving around a bit more difficult, it's a pretty heavy box
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:51, Reply)

and it's either that or you'll forget it.
How did you know it was me?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:54, Reply)

this isn't my main profile, and I posted them AGES ago...?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:56, Reply)

I guess the one about Mrs Monkeysex might be a bit of a clue. Still, at least Pooflake doesn't seem to mind that I'm his wife.
EDIT anyway, how you doing?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 17:58, Reply)

Right me and my box are off! Catch you later :)
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:00, Reply)

but I think that after we described me receiving DVDA from all the b3tans, he was too turned on to stay angry.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:03, Reply)

when it's doubled.
Pooflake will get his turn.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:09, Reply)

I've always been a giver. Do you want it on yer back, with me lapping at your clitoris, or bent over, with me eating you out from behind?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:19, Reply)

I won't be able to see the telly otherwise.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:20, Reply)

*begins lapping away and humming*
(muffled)mello mulip!
*waves*
*inserts two fingers of other hand to find G spot*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:25, Reply)

It's just The Simpsons.
Ooh! I certainly don't remember this episode!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:26, Reply)

Oi, clendrix! If I'm going to do this, you could at least pretend to enjoy it!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:28, Reply)

*squeals*
*claws Mrs Poo's head*
*gasps*
*turns Hollyoaks off cos it's shit*
How skilled you are!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:32, Reply)

what I think of the new QOTW.
I don't have any family traditions.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:37, Reply)

worried. Do you think our antics will stop everyone else from coming in?
Oh, hello Mrs Bin. Don't mind us. How's your poorly tummy.
*squeals*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:38, Reply)

we can stop if you like, let me just wipe my face of your thigh.
@Mrs liveinabin I think the best thing to do is bend the meaning slightly, just come up with something slightly different that your family do.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:39, Reply)

Thank you. Oh, I did enjoy that. I like to think that Al was watching somewhere.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:42, Reply)

My tummy is much better thanks.
I think it might have been Winter Vomiting Virus. I've had some toast and it's not put up too much protest.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:43, Reply)

If I know him, and I'm pretty sure I do, right now his pants will be all moist but he'll have no idea why.
Everybody hates their family, it's not normal for them to get along. My family's only ritual is the christmas punch-up we have every year.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:43, Reply)

I missed the hot girl on girl action again didn't I?
I always seem to be late when it matters!
Evening everyone!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:59, Reply)

It's all gone a bit late night Babestation in here.
I think I'm going to have to go and do something to take my mind of it, like go to the stable and feed my horse.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:09, Reply)

Feeding your horse is a good idea!
Can't let the poor thing go neglected!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:12, Reply)

isn't it? You dirty girl.
What's Babestation?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:18, Reply)

Babestation is one of those late night phone in channels where you get to talk to 'hot' girls while they wobble their bottoms.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:28, Reply)

You mean the sex mimes?
My favourites are;
Candy
Raven
Chelsea
Daryl
Megan
Tiffany and
Alex
Not that I watch it though.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:32, Reply)

Good evening so far?
I'm LIITing it in the local so I'm all good!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:46, Reply)

I'm good thanks
Off to the pub in a bit myself. Got free beer after we won the pub quiz on tuesday:D
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:48, Reply)

There you go, knowledge = free beer, if my teachers had told me that I might have paid a bit more attention in school!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:54, Reply)

We win most weeks:D
Thanks to being fairly clever I'm a blatant piss artist!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:55, Reply)

You didn't upset me.
I think I'm going to see if I can catch the 10 minutes freeview tonight. Would you and the naughty clendrix care to join me?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:58, Reply)

Not too bad thanks.
How's yourself? I'm getting a wee bit excited for next Friday. Thought I might dress a bit smartish for it.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:04, Reply)

I'm a tad excited myself, butI don't have a choice on the smartness I've got to go to a meeting in the morning!
My smartness will consist of a shirt with my jeans though
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:10, Reply)

What's that then? ;-)
BK I was trying to decide today between going a bit smart for the 28th orgoing all out and finally wearing one of my tshirt hell purchases that I haven't dared leaving the house in yet!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:12, Reply)

I may even go for trews!
@ Bill
I accidentally (first thing I grabbed off the shelf) wore my High School Shootings Tour T-shirt to work once. That didn't go donw too well:S
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:15, Reply)

I nearly got the shooting tour shirt at the time but decided against at the last minute!
Still, I've got worse so we're all good for Friday!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:20, Reply)

I almost bought the "I hate jews, pakis,.......etc etc, But I LOVE niggers" one.
Then, quite sensibly decided against it.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:23, Reply)

Spare change one.
Anyway, signing out for now; my friend has just arrived at the pub, later everyone!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:29, Reply)

*hugs*
Some hot cunnilingus earlier on.
And I've just demonstrated what a casual racist I am:S
Now I'm off down the pub!
*byesies hugs*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:33, Reply)

Well Bill and I are here, and you of course.
Dancing for money eh?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:36, Reply)

on this volatile thread, tell me you remembered it, Badger...
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:37, Reply)

I was impressed!
Hey Dok. And yup I am a dancing badger
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:43, Reply)

A dancing badger.
I heard of dancing bears but never badgers.
*sings*
Simon Smith and his amazing dancing bear.
*hugs*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:45, Reply)

Dancing badgers are the new rage. We are better than those stoopid bears
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:46, Reply)

Boo for no job though :(
Wii you also dance for booze? Because there'i a bash coming up!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:54, Reply)

dance for booze as well.
I keep sneezing though. arghgghghgh
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:55, Reply)

stop being smutty :)
Aren't you supposed to be on a quest somewhere?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:58, Reply)

I've got a bit of the sniffles myself. It's not good.
On a quest? I found the Holy Grail last week? What are you on about missy?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 20:59, Reply)

Is it is quest to find me a job? Because that would be awesome :p
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:00, Reply)

Yes M'Lady
I, a Knight in shining armour, with my dashing charger will undertake any worthy quest with which you task me!
*pause chivalry*
But Wookies not turned up yet, are you trying to get rid of me or something, and should you not be doing some else as well? Like limericks?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:06, Reply)

cider and tea. All of the awesomeness!
Obviously not mixed together. That would be weird...
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:09, Reply)

But I'm sure he'll be there later, questing for all he's worth.
Too tired for limericks. More tomorrow!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:12, Reply)

You just spoilt for choice tonight!
Drixy, I know, he phoned me to find out if I was at Sad Club, he wanted a pint.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:17, Reply)

*cries*
I may watch Frankie boyle in a bit. I find him mucho mucho funnio
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:18, Reply)

*hugs*
I'm sure somebody would have phoned you, maybe they don't have you number!
*Teacher Mode On*
OK Drixy, you're let of your homework for tonight, but don't let it happen again you hear!
EDIT Oh god, my stalkers on again!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:21, Reply)

I'm so glad I am meeting Lab for lunch tomorrow. I doubt I would get out of bed otherwise.
I need to go whore myself out. I think I have over whored myself though. I feel all whored out :(
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:24, Reply)

Just popped in to say I still love you all but I've been busy with BOAT and other stuff and I'm thinking of you.
*goes back to wine*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:26, Reply)

But I've got to wait till next week! I wish I could come to lunch tomorrow!
*sads*
EDIT BOAT BGB, just what is this that you talk of? *hugs*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:27, Reply)

Hope we're all well.
I've had a rather good day, I slobbed like a mofo, bought some HBOS shares and have done the weekly shop ... Now if one of you kind folk will get this family sized tub of Celebrations away from me I'd be obliged,
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:28, Reply)

Give them to Badger, she'll eat them if you don't want too, and I'll pinch a few as well.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:30, Reply)

A flying monkey.
*pinches some Celebrations*
I'm off to make a cup of coffee, anybody want one?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:32, Reply)

The problem is I really do want them but lack the self control to say no.
*Throws handfuls of Celebrations*
*Espies a hungry badger*
*Surrenders and runs like fuck*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:34, Reply)

Miss Badger, please?
Pretty please?
With sugar on?
;)
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:34, Reply)

*mauls celebrations*
Yes Dok you may. As long as you stay out my bed :p
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:34, Reply)

I'll just lie on top of it then!
Here's the poem on my my
A Poem For
Taurus
Although they make good lovers
They don't give their love for free
If you ask them for a snog they say
"A snog that's 20p"
EDIT Sorry I was just making coffee
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:43, Reply)

*Rubs paddles together*
Ker-junk!
*Budum, budum, budum*
And it's resuscitated.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:44, Reply)

Look! It's moving. It's alive. It's alive... It's alive, it's moving, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:47, Reply)

*Sneaks into bottom of bed*
*handcuffs self to bedpost*
Now try to move me!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:51, Reply)

*sneaks back into bed*
*snuggles*
Hows that then?
*feeds Badger Celebrations*
*handcuffs Badger to headboard*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:54, Reply)

Watch out here come the Cadbury's Milk Tray Man!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:58, Reply)

Praise be!
I had the interesting experience of finding a picture on a amatuer porn site which was the spit of my missus today.
The likeness was uncanny, so much so I was compelled to save the image and tell her "Look! there's a naked bird on the internet what looks like you!"
Apparently not as complimentary as I first thought.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:02, Reply)

Play nice or you won't get any more chocolates! ;)
Move along now Freddie. Nothing to see here!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:03, Reply)

As long as it wasn't clown porn. *cries*
Dok I am always nice :D
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:05, Reply)

Doo you mean it's strange and surreal? Or just crap? ;)
How can you be nice when you always maul folks, and keep kicking me out of bed!
Clown Porn, evil, evil clowns I hate 'em. That reminds me I think I'll watch killer Klowns for Outer Space later
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:06, Reply)

Just regular, run o' the mill filth.
I had to think 'Does she have a mole there or not?' - Glad to hear that it's not a unanimously bad thing.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:08, Reply)

I forgot to say that earlier. I'm bad!
Badger, did Tulip Find out who Crocus and Hyacinth were yesterday?
EDIT I'm not editing other post for crap spelling really :p
EDIT 2 Swanny, none of the ladies I've been out with would appreciate being told the look like some naked bint off the internet.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:10, Reply)

If I was going out with a guy and knew he was thinking of me while watching porn then I'd be quite happy.
I am weird though.
And yes she did Dok
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:15, Reply)

I suspect that young Badger may be the exception that proves the rule ...... To my mind it's a compliment. The hit count for the image was rather high :)
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:18, Reply)

on the porn, and if you were there or not?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:18, Reply)

Hot enough to be a porn star has to be some kind of compliment?
*is probably far too relaxed about these things*
I'm not a proper girl though, I play with cars and don't give a shit if I break a nail so *shrugs*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:20, Reply)

It was just a bird posing though. No getting DP'd under a glass topped coffee table while a Ukranian prostitute defecates overhead :D
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:21, Reply)

Everything has limits.
But yeah I can see how it can be meant as a compliment. Badger is the exception that proves the rule, though there must be othe women like that out there.
Sorry Badger but I'm sure you are a proper woman, I've met others who played with cars and didn't care about their nails.
EDIT for sanity
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:25, Reply)

I discovered an aquaintance, co-worker or friend on one of these sites ..... I suspect it'd be rather awkward.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:29, Reply)

I wouls laugh my arse off!
*feeds chocs to Badger*
Sorry mistress!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:30, Reply)

Bert and I really set the tone for this thread, didn't we?
Oh wait...it's always like this.
It must be you lot.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:32, Reply)

HI *hugs*
We have a serious conversation about porn, and you call us filthy.
*sulks*
*feeds Badger more chocs*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:35, Reply)

an incident where someone at work got found to be taking part in dogging meets with his missus.
The pictures were found plastered over the interweb and much hilarity was had by all - This was before I got there but the legend lives on.
Edit: Sorry Clendrix. I started the porn talk. But cunnilingus beats porn hands down :D
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:35, Reply)

yes. Yes it does.
Dok, you're filthy all the time. Why are you still here?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:38, Reply)

I'm sure you just want rid of me! Don't you love me any more? *sads* Not all the time, just some of it!
I can be a proper gentleman when I want to be.
Anyhoo I've been slipping in and out all evening, just nobodies noticed yet! Fnar!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:40, Reply)

I may take the rest of my strongbow to bed *cidery bed glees*
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:41, Reply)

I certainly don't want rid of you! I was just wondering if you were WoWing.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:42, Reply)

..wtf this "boat" stuff is about.. Is it supposed to be utterly meaningless, just an in-joke about nothing? I don't recall seeing where this started and it's been bugging me all evening. I've even wondered whether "boat" is a phonetic spelling for the "burt" in my username but pronounced a la redneck merkin.. any clues?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:43, Reply)

..I like the word "badger" more than "boat"
In fact that's reminded me I have a story for this week's qotw that involves the term "badger" used in a family context.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:47, Reply)

Don't go I have more chocolates! O OK Nighty Night.
Drixy, yes I have been.
Senor It started with a poll thing this morning, and It's been turned into a meme of sorts.
EDIT We almost had them at lunchtime Badger and Boat were neck and neck, but them everybody started voting boat, fools!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:47, Reply)

I would be happier if you were SeñorBurtReynolds.
I like the little squiggle on the n
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:48, Reply)

Yes, I wholeheartedly agree that that would be infinitely better. It's supposed to be spanish, and at the end of the day, it isn't.. anyone got any relevant html?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:50, Reply)

I think the boat sheep outnumbered the rational badger people
Can you not just copy and paste? That's what I tend to do when my sigs have crazy letters
edit the html is 240; but I don't think that works?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:51, Reply)

Yeah the sheep outnumber us by about 5-1, it's so sad really!
It's 0241, but that's not bad from memory I had to look it up!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:56, Reply)

that you can make weird numbers by using
Simple things.
And yeah we were massively outnumbered :(
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:58, Reply)

I think you are pointing me in the direction of some html.. but just give me the and end and finish tags. I'm not that techy. althought I can do this:
alrighty there cocksuckers
Hopefully that will work..
edit: bollocks it didn't. marquee tags being disabled I guess.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:01, Reply)

Called Ratchet and Clank : Tools of Destruction, and one of the things you have to do is disguise yourself as a pirate and dance!
EDIT Senor just copy and paste this ñ
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:03, Reply)

Haha! Now I rule the world! All thanks to you Dok you sucker!
Edit: bollocks no I don't
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Shoot me now, I'm starting to get tired is all I can say in my defence!
It should be disguise, Yes I know!
Except your name is now SeorBurtReynolds! LOL
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Well, I'm getting a new guitar tomorrow, so I'm well happy. And I'm trying to get my hands on some drums, but that ain't going so well....
All well here?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:09, Reply)

How's it Hanging?
I'm having trouble spelling tonight, and Badger has been putting me right!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:10, Reply)

It made me think of TGB. And it made my brain cry.
I am not bad Dok. Looking forward to the guitar tomorrow, which means pretty much my entire weekend is going to be a write-off. Yay.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:13, Reply)

For new guitar, I realy should pick up my bass again soon, it's been too long.
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:15, Reply)

I enclose a picture of me and my mates little girl with both of us as pirates.
i78.photobucket.com/albums/j92/Swan_Vesta/n593021418_1341984_1592.jpg
Yeargh!!!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:16, Reply)

Mostly at about midnight, with an unplugged electric, after I've finished work for the day.
Not sure when I'd play electric drums, but I'm trying every way I can to get my hands on some.
And no, you didn't make my brain cry, the awful grammar did. How could a badger such as you make me cry?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:16, Reply)

Badger, Don't let the bed bugs bite! Unless they're me that is!
Pirates FTW
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:19, Reply)

..there's a chest o' rum to plunder over yonder before dawn breaks. Freshwater pirates!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:24, Reply)

I'm of tay plunder o'er the seven seas.
We shall be havin' more parley on the morrow!
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:32, Reply)
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