It's Monday again.

( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 7:47, 188 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

First! :)
Morning Miss. How're you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:04, Reply)

I'm ok :)
Still not properly awake though, and yourself?
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:10, Reply)

Morning you two
It's above freezing here today! I didn't have to spend five minutes getting cold as I scraped ice off my car.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:18, Reply)

Morning K2k6
Glad to hear you didn't freeze this morning.
I was a cold on my way here, but I now have tea so yay!
Are you well?
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:22, Reply)

Morning
My car was frozen up this morning. I had to wait a whole 2 minutes listening to a CD while I waited for the defrost button to do its trick :)

Feeling like a bag of shit this morning, though, but I suppose that's the price you pay for an epic weekend. Great to meet everyone who went to the bash on Friday - they were all the awesome.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:27, Reply)

I'm quite well, thanks Lusty
I spent the weekend mostly indoors, rueing the fact I had to go outside occasionally. It was -8°C the other night as I was driving home. Not fun!

And you?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:27, Reply)

Yay ducky
*hugs*

I'm feeling better than I thought I would this morning. I had a hedonistic weekend and a bit of a cold but I seem to be feeling ok today which is a bit of a relief.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:32, Reply)

Morning rubberduck
My car only defrosts the rear window by magic. I have to do the rest manually. Or sit inside with the engine running for about half an hour until the heat has conducted through the glass.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:33, Reply)

Saturday was a strange experience
Doing the 'meet the parents' thing the morning after a b3tabash was always going to be an interesting experience.

I think I managed to hold it together though :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:33, Reply)

Morning guys
*shivers*

Office is freaking cold this morning! Not sure how to get through a whole week of work without a bash to look forward to. *is grumpy already*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:38, Reply)

ohhh Captain V
Don't be grumpy! We can have a bash on here today if you like.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhh the overseer just called in sick!
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:55, Reply)

Ah, a virtual bash!
I'm up for that. Any chance of a jiggle, Lusty? (although it's nothing like as good as in person!)

What's up with your boss? Sickness of the minge?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:01, Reply)

*jiggles*
*gets drunk*
*falls over*
*shouts at people on tube for being a bunch of cake haters*

Ohhh it's just like Friday all over again.

@K2k6 I think she's got a touch of quim rot.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:03, Reply)

Oooo a virtual bash
I like that idea! Does it mean virtual cider and virtually making a fool of oneself?
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:04, Reply)

Morning all!
Hope you all had a spiffy weekend!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:06, Reply)

Quim rot!
*chuckles*

*visualises*

*bokes*

In other news, I just phoned the local tyre shop for a quote for a pair of tyres for my car, and they're charging £20 per tyre less than I can buy them for online.

Result!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:07, Reply)

Morning all
Have you all recovered yet?

I have, and I'm in several shades of a good mood today.

How about you?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:09, Reply)

Ah Dok
*stroke teh furs*

Pleased to hear you're several shades of brilliant today.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:10, Reply)

Morning all!
I haven't quite caught up on sleep from the weekend.

It was awesome seeing everyone at the bash! I think I behaved myself...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:12, Reply)

What a great idea
Getting drunk in the science museum in THE NAME OF SCIENCE™
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:15, Reply)

I think we all did Lab
well mostly!

He He , I'm now picturing "A Night at the Museum"

Not a very good film, but is would make a good bash!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:20, Reply)

@captain V
All the virtual cider you could want.
As long as you don't get too drunk and steal virtual baubles from virtual christmas trees on the way home.

Edit: Woohoo! My temp that I love is on her way in. Looks like this could be a good Monday.
*glees*
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:21, Reply)

Lusty
I ready that as "so long as you don't steal virtual babies". When I'd only read "so long as you don't get too drunk and..." I thought you were going somewhere else with that sentence.

:edit: Lusty I thought she'd finished her period with you? *sniggers* I said period.

:edit2: *puts on the hat* *dances*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Morning all
Hope everyone is good.

Good to see those of you that I did on Friday. Still wish I could have stayed longer.

4 pints in 2 hours is not good preparation for an hours train ride when the toilets are out of order though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Gid Moaning!
Well, that's it. 2 days, very little sleep, and one motherfucker of a cold later, and me and the Devilette are resident at our new flat.

It is a shrine to Ikea (sadly, but that's all we could afford), I am covered in cuts and bruises from the construction, I still have a stress headache and I don't have the internet at home which is a pisser.

I feel like proper Brown Trousers today, nearly passed out several times on the tube and I've a horrid headache.

BUT, and here's the thing - I'm the happiest I've been for ages. Despite Kaol's attempt to kill me on Friday night, I made in to my brand new flat which is lovely and clean and not damp and new and the neighbours aren't disgusting and I've got a big bed and everything.

Phew!

It was great to see everyone who was there on Friday night - I'm just sorry I had to leave early!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Morning DiT!
Glad to hear the move was (mostly) painless! It was great to meet you on Friday :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

Of course it was!
After all, I'm great! ;)

Good to meet you too, chap!

EDIT: I killed the thread! Get CSI in here!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Work interruptions! *shakes fist*
I'm good good good. Just spent the weekend with daughter and we spent the whole time cooking, drawing, playing games, learning knots and generally having a good laugh. Woo!

Today I'm working and planning, working and planning.

*bounces*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

It's bloody quiet here today
Where the fun-size Mars bar is everyone?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:02, Reply)

*waves*
Mmmm... Mars bars.

OT's been quite quiet for a while now... I wonder if everyone's got... gasp! A life!?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)

OT
Aye, maybe people are actually doing work, rather than refreshing this page every five minutes.

Like I do
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)

Gordon Benitos!
It's almost fecking deserted in here.
*waves at No3L and Labs*
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)

Life?
No, nothing as exciting as that. Just a job.

I've been running around daft this morning. But I'm having a brief break just now.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)

I'm here.
Sort of, just been having a catch up with the temp.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:09, Reply)

And me :)
Maybe one day I'll get a real internet connection instead of my phone... then I'll be able to fully annoy participate! *goes all dreamy*

Morning other folks! :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)

I'm lurking
every now and again.

But actually have work to do.

And have been busy relaying a cringeworthy story over the other place.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Nice story scarpe
So... are you? :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

*waves at everyone*
Another minion has delivered me tea. This makes me happy.

*reads enjoyable QOTW stories while slurping tea*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:16, Reply)

*raises head*
I'm here but doing some work for once.

*goes back to work*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:17, Reply)

Morning all...
In other news, it's snowing!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Well, stuff the lot of you then! :)
*does a little naked dance while noone's watching*

Edit: *covers up* morning Col! Where is it snowing? Nowt but blue skies here!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:19, Reply)

Blimey!
I too am here but trying to do some work.

I'm worried about all of us.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:19, Reply)

Weirdly...
I have been working, but I will be going home in a bit because I'm ill!

:(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Tis snowing in
MANCHESTAAAAH!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:22, Reply)

My kingdom for a sick day!
*sniffles* I've had a cold for a fortnight now... bloody useless immune system!

I think the Beechams might be making an appearance sometime today. I'm supposed to be hitch-hiking fourty miles later... don't think that's gonna happen.

Edit: maybe we'll get some snow tomorrow then... that'd kick arse.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:23, Reply)

No3l
Why? You asking me out?

I think the missus may have something to say about that.

She wasn't best pleased with my Badger 'Golden Hugs' ticket from Friday night as it is.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:25, Reply)

I'm working too, sorta
I'm used to think I was quite a patient person, but recently I've come to the conclusion that, well, I'm not.

I'm sure most of us suffer from the occasional bouts of road rage, but I've found myself succumbing to computer rage, pedestrian rage, bicycle rage and delivery rage. Basically, if other people/objects aren't doing something at exactly the same speed that I conduct my business, my eyes narrow and my fists clench.

I think my love of a good rant is fuelling my impatience.

I'm still a nice guy though!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:27, Reply)

scarpe
Nah, you're not my type. Too much penis.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

No3l
shame, it could have been the start of something beautiful.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Lab you sound like my kinda man
(Not in a sexual way although I'm sure you're great in bed)

I can't stand people that are incompetent and slow. Working with other human beings generally makes me very, very angry. I take solace in the fact that because I can work so much faster than those around me I can slack off without anybody seeming to mind all too much.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Damn right!
But who would have been the butch one?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Urgh I had the worst night
I went to bed happily snuggled up and toasty. Woke up at about 5 and I was freezing - literally the coldest I have ever felt. I was shivering so much it was making me feel sick so I grabbed some socks and my dressing gown and tried to go back to sleep but my head hurt so I got up to get some water - via the bathroom :( - then sipped the water for the next hour whilst shivering like crazy. Then had to go be sick again (which was just all the water I had been drinking) then I got back to bed and could feel myself warming up and within 10 minutes was average bed temperature again. And then slept through various alarms till about 11.

I should stop watching medical dramas though it scared the crap outta me.

And on that TMI note I should head off as I said I would probably be in at 9 *looks at watch*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:34, Reply)

Oh badger
Hope you feel better soon. Surely you have grounds for calling in sick?
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:35, Reply)

@Lab
There's nothing wrong with a bit of a rant! I quite enjoy being angry.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:36, Reply)

Captain V
You flatter me!

The reason i'm currently on B3ta a lot is that my work machines are processing a lot of stuff, and if I try to do other things at the same time, they tend to throw a fit.

I am also researching some things, so it's not like I'm being a complete slacker...

Edit: *waves cheerily at Badger*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

Dammit lusty
Your use of the word angry has made me suddenly yearn for some angry sex =s

:edit: Might also have something to do with listening to "Fuck her gently" by Tenacious D
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

Badge
Feel better soon lovely.

No3l. I don't think butch is my strong point.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

V
I feel better now, just a bit weirded out still.

Hey Scarpe!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Well in that case I retract my statement.
I don't wish you to feel better at all!

I do hope you continue to feel well though
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:40, Reply)

@TGB
I had to explain to my other half what badger hugs were.

Fun.

twas grand to meet you, you fabulous lady.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:42, Reply)

@captain V
Nothing wrong with a bit of angry sex either.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Lusty
Not at all although now I'm angry about not getting any angry sex. I'm just getting angrier and angrier today. *bangs fist on table*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Now then!
We'll have less of the angry please!

This is a happy place for fluffeh people!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Bu..but
I am fluffy and happy. I'm just angry too. *growls*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Oh captain V
So agressive! go have an angry wank to get it out of your system.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Haha
If I weren't at work I would ='[

Perhaps food will calm me down.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:56, Reply)

I'm sure it'd be fine
Just start masturbating at your desk and if anyone says anything, look them straight in the eye while you carry on.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:59, Reply)

Oh the office lolery
I'd love to leave my job in a really spectacular way after having already secured a new one. Perhaps by coming to work in a mankini...
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:07, Reply)

Oh noes!
Have I revealed a little bit too much about myself and scared everyone away?

Oh nopes, captain V's here. I think that sounds like a splendid way to leave. A mankini and a shower of jizz.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

@ Lusty
I quite like doing that actually.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:10, Reply)

I love b3ta
where else could I pop into have a nose around and the first thing I see is the phrase 'a mankini and shower of jizz'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

A shower of jizz as well
What a splendid idea. All I need now is a theme tune to blast out of my 80s style boom box.

@BK Hai! *greets in a completely normal manner*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:15, Reply)

@BK
What? Looking people in the eye while you wank?
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Hey V
*shakes hands in hetero manner*

@ Lusty

Yes.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:18, Reply)

Oh god I'm sniggering again
I'm wondering how long BK and I can keep this up and it's reminding me of Friday.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:21, Reply)

@captain V
How long you and BK can keep it up?
*smirks*
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:22, Reply)

@ Lusty
Quite a while if I look him in the eye.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:24, Reply)

I'm starting to feel
slightly disturbed by this conversation now.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:25, Reply)

Sex on a stick.
That's you lot, that is.

I'm going out for a smoke.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:26, Reply)

*looks lusty in the eye*
*UNZIPS*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:26, Reply)

*cries*
Put your pendulous scrotum away.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:30, Reply)

I feel so much less angry now
*cheers*

*contemplates removing trousers*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:31, Reply)

*winks at lusty*
*pulls scrotum over his head*

*runs around like he's just scored a goal*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Haha
Then it is true. You don't have the drum tight scrotum of your youth any longer.

It seems more like a tent these days =p
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:33, Reply)

*says nothing*
I think it's for the best if I just keep quiet now.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:35, Reply)

@ V
Hmm, it's a party piece if nothing else.

Lusty, you've gone all quiet. What's up?

*huggles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:39, Reply)

*puts trousers back on*
Sorry lusty *shuffles about awkwardly looking at his feet*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:41, Reply)

Hello all
I seem to have lost a day (Sunday)... I think my lungs were trying to escape my chest cavity, generating a shitload of chewy phlegm, which for some idiotic reason I swallowed.

It was yesterday I learned I am a swallower, not a spitter. Should I ever turn gay I'd be quids in...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)

It's like walking into
some kind of scrotum fondling party. I don't really like it :(
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:46, Reply)

@ Lusty
Why wouldn't you like a scrotum fondling party?

/is puzzled
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:47, Reply)

@piston
As much as I like rude bits, scrotums remind me of turkey's necks and turkeys are the most evil of all birds (apart from swans) so it's just like reliving a childhood trauma with added ballsack :(
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:53, Reply)

@ Piston
Liquids in surely?

I think we're doing a good job of turning this thread into My Beautiful Laundrette:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:53, Reply)

It seems that way Beekers
You still up for drinks tonight? The Adelphi does a very good line in 8% ciders...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:54, Reply)

*sweeps in*
*envelops Lusty in a huge hug*
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:55, Reply)

@ PB
I am, but I'm not venturing near the scrumpy:S

What time does it all kick off?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:55, Reply)

Clendrix!
*cuddles*

They, they, they showed me their winkies and saggy oldman balls.

*cries*

I'm so happy you're here now.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:58, Reply)

Don't blame you fella
Don't want you getting *ahem* "intertwined" with the furniture again now, do we?

Incidentally, doors 8pm, show 8.30

/Edit

Afternoon Clenders, how goes it?

/Edit II

All seems to have gone quiet here, time to catch up on some WoW I think.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:59, Reply)

Allo Piston!
I am actually getting some work done today! Not sure what's wrong with me, but trying to make the most of it.

Lusty darling, I'll take care of you.
*pokes any visible sacks with a pointy stick*
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:05, Reply)

Clendrix noooooooooooooo!
Those were the presents for all the children!
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Two can play that
Pokes clenders with 'pointy stick'
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:09, Reply)

*hops, skips and jumps in*
Afternoon my pretties!

*distributes tiny pink fairy cakes and pink champagne*

I'm feeling all pink and womanly today. How are you all?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:11, Reply)

Heya HLT
I'm feeling quite pink and womanly myself now. *flounces*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:13, Reply)

*joins in flouncing*
*huggles tulip*

How are you lovely missy?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:13, Reply)

hola captain, boss!
I'm tops ta! how was the bash?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Hello HLT!
Hope you're well!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:16, Reply)

The bash was grand
I for one had an excellent time. Meeting lots of b3tans I'd not previously encountered was rather fun. And there was cake =D
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:17, Reply)

@ Tulip
It was a frenzied hugfest of unspeakably fluffeh proportions!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:17, Reply)

'ello Lab!
*hugs*

*hugs everyone else*

It's a bit chilly here!

*stamps feet*

*blows on hands*


EDIT: you all had loads of cakey fluffeh hugtiems? without me? *bottom lip wobbles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:17, Reply)

@ hlt
*huggles for warmth*

*rubs tulip's hands*

Better?

*edit*
*spies bottom lip wobble*

Awwww!

*soothes*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:18, Reply)

@ BK
marginally, thank you.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:20, Reply)

V
Presents for the children?

You're sick.




I love it.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:22, Reply)

@ 'drixy
Hahaha! Have a *flex* for making me officelol!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:24, Reply)

clenders!
alright lovey?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Tulip and Beeks
Hello! I am being tres efficient today, not even losing my temper with a mong student who would find life much easier if she were to just SHUT UP and LISTEN!

And breathe. Yes, I am being good.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:32, Reply)

Clenders
Tell her to shut and listen but don't remind her to breathe. Your life would be much easier if she didn't.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:33, Reply)

*admires clenders' efficiency*
Tell her to breathe and listen and shut up all at once. she'll get confused and fall over.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:36, Reply)

@ Tulip
That would confuse me too:s
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:37, Reply)

*Saunters in*
'noon all, how is everyone?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:38, Reply)

'Noon DG!
Not too bad - bit busy and can't decide what to do first, so nowt seems like a good option:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:42, Reply)

V
How right you are! Perhaps my standard response should be, 'Please just stop breathing. Stop. Now. See, isn't that better?'

^I don't need to ask Kaol's permission to use this - he has copyrighted the version that doesn't include the word 'please'.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:45, Reply)

Hello again, y'all
I'd better put my pendulous scrotum well out of harm's way if I'm coming in here.

Just washed my car to remind myself of what colour it was. Turns out it's not dirty brown after all.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:47, Reply)

Afternoon all
It'sa bit busier in here now.

It's so cold out that I am considering giving up smoking.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:48, Reply)

That was a quick visit
back to work for me. Plus my works connection is arseing about again.

Laters!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:50, Reply)

*crawls in*
I feel like crap. Can someone make me some tea please? *looks sad*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:50, Reply)

Bye DG *waves*
Oh badger you silly thing *hands over a steaming mug of tea* Would you like a biscuit too? Perhaps a chocolate finger?*

*awaits sniggering
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:53, Reply)

*snigger*

(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)

V
I've noticed an increase in your smut level since the bash last Friday.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)

No the idea
of food is making me feel sick. *drinks tea*

Thanks :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:57, Reply)

Pfft
Chocolate finger.

*also sniggers*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)

@ clenders
I corrupted the poor boy!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)

Clenders
I think it's because I'm feeling a lot happier since the bash. My mind has slowed back down to a normal level too which always helps.

*happy dance*

:edit: Sorry to disappoint BK but I've been corrupted by many a men before you.

Is concerned that he doesn't actually know how many.

I'm not bi-curious I swear!
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:00, Reply)

V
Then that's fab! Yay!
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:01, Reply)

@ V
No, you've gone way beyond curious by the sound of it!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:02, Reply)

Indeed it is fab
I blame you lot. You're all too lovely.

:edit: BK you naughty boy. You made me officelol. I think I'm just very comfortable with my sexuality. I can't think of a time when I've initiated I've just never said no.

I'm going to shut up now
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:02, Reply)

There seems to have been a lot of
Willy talk this morning.

*sniggers*
willy
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:13, Reply)

Oh jesus it's true
My first thought when lusty posted was "That's because willies are great". Dammit why did nobody tell me sooner that I was bisexual ='[
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:14, Reply)

V
We thought you knew!

Eugh, I am falling asleep here, and still have 3 hours more work to endure.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:17, Reply)

I think willies are great too.
What if I'm bisexual?
Am I going to have to join the navy now? :(
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Dear god
The world has gone all topsy turvey. Abandon hope ye who enter here!
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:22, Reply)

*shouts*
WAKE UP LAB!
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:24, Reply)

*bolts upright, eyes wide*
Ok! I'm awake!

*yawns*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:28, Reply)

Good stuff.
Ohhh I typed stiff when I typed that the first time.

I'm blaming Captain V for making me have cock on the brain.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:30, Reply)

I'm sorry lusty
It seems I have cock on the brain myself today.

*sighs*
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Brains and cock.
I'm sold.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:35, Reply)

You've reminded me of Saturday afternoon
when BK, Lab, TGB and myself were walking up the stairs at London Bridge. A woman was walking down and we only caught one sentence of what she was saying. "Last time I was here, there was a sausage festival."
We just about made it to the top of the stairs before we all started lolling.
( wanderlust, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Hello!
SAUSAGE FEST!!!!!

That is all.

*slopes off again*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Is it right
That I even found the phrase "safely remove hardware" smutty?

Help me!
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:56, Reply)

Greetings day-thread people.
I've caught the flu and am skiving work taking the day off sick. I've got a cough, headache, and it feels like a little alien is trying to escape my stomach.

Meanwhile, I've discovered just howmany wrong-numbers my landline gets during the day.

How are all you lovely day-thread people?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:00, Reply)

I've got a brain
*gets cock out*

*is arrested*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:08, Reply)

Afternoon all
I finally get a chance to stop by today only to be confronted by talk of brains and cock!

How are we all this afternoon?
(bill, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:13, Reply)

Ah bill
Glad someone came to say hi. k2k6 has just been arrested and I thought everyone was afraid of my germs.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:15, Reply)

Nah Spakk,
I'm not afraid of your germs.

*Dons HazMat suit*

There, all safe now. ;-)
(bill, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:17, Reply)

* starts distributing hazmat suits in the hope that more people will join this thread *
And how are you bill?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Not too bad
This morning I've been booking travel to Brussels for next week and also filling in miles of paperwork trying to get a russian visa.

This afternoon I'm trying to get a USB mobile broadband dongle working.

How about yourself, much happening?
(bill, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:27, Reply)

Russian visas are a bitch
Not much happening with me. Am making myself some Lemsip and have just received yet another wrong-number on my landline.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Yay, Lemsip!
Answer each one with a silly name and slogan!
(bill, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:42, Reply)

My usual way of dealing with idiots at the end of the phone
is this. Unfortunately, I don't have an answering machine at the moment.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:47, Reply)

My Gods...
2 hours on WoW, without noticing. This is not good.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:53, Reply)

I've been unarrested!
It was just a misunderstanding.

Shouldn't really get my cock out on the board though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:17, Reply)

You threadkiller!
Er... *waves*
( Cawl, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:30, Reply)

Mr Kaol
How was ye olde trip?
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:31, Reply)

*sighs*
Hideous meeting - all previous good humour and motivation has disappeared.

And so have the cocks.

:(

Edit: Oh thank god, Kaol's here. Kaol. I'm feeling blue. Fancy maiming some people for me?
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:31, Reply)

Afternoon Kaol
Good journey today?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:33, Reply)

Hey V, Mr. K.
Trip was fine, it was snowing today when I driving around, which is cool!

Oh, and it was -11 where I was last night.
Well, not in my bed, but like... In Cumbria.

Clendrix!
I just replied to your text.
*hugs*
( Cawl, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)

Mmmmm snow
Glad your trip went well =]
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:36, Reply)

*feels better*
Bloody IRL people.
I much prefer it here :)
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:37, Reply)

It was only -7°C last night hereabouts
with no snow.

But it's meant to snow tomorrow morning. That could be fun.

Just as well I bought some new tyres today.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:42, Reply)

I like this news!
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7755315.stm
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:43, Reply)

Yay to snow!
BUT...
I'm not happy.
I've come back to find that my cunt of a manager has given my desk and computer to the trainee...
The trainee that we've had less than a week.

I went to shout at him about it, and he just said "there are plenty of old computers about the place, use one of them".

So...
My new work computer has a 14 inch blurry CRT, that gave me an electric shock.
Oh, and 256 meg of RAM!
Not to forget the awesomeness that is Windows NT.

*frowns*

So... In short I've got none of my files on here, none of the programmes I use, and no USB ports to hook cameras/scanners/harddrive into...

I can't wait for them to give me some work to do.

/RANT.

EDIT: Oh, just found Office doesn't work. Or minesweeper.
( Cawl, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:44, Reply)

Oh dear kaol
Why don't you put his head through the monitor or insert the PC into his arse.

I'm sure one of those would change his mind.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:48, Reply)

*tries to eat soup*
bleugh. Stupid food.

it's still too cold. I have 4 layers, a blanket and the heating on.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:49, Reply)

Quite simple really,
My dear Mr. V:

His head is already so far up his arse that there's no room for the monitor.

EDIT: Too cold?
Me too, my damn "new desk" is a table next to a window that doesn't shut properly.
( Cawl, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:49, Reply)

Windows NT
must be the worst operating system this side of, well, anything. You have my sympathies, Kaol.

And on that note, I'm off home.

Laters.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:50, Reply)

@ Badger
You sound like you've got a dose of the flu!

*huggles*
*from a distance*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Hurray!
I've missed Kaol's bitter anger. It makes me feel better about mine.

*happies*
*feels bitterly angry*
*happies*
*goes nuts*
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:52, Reply)

haha thanks Pickleface
I hope it's not flu. I hate being ill :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Right I'm off home
Have fun you lovely lot. Get well soon badger.
( Captain V, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:53, Reply)

Aims soothing *flex* at clenders
I hope you're not ill too Badgerface!

On that note, I am off home and then out on the lash with PB!

Byesies!

*hugs*
*snogs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:54, Reply)

@Badger
You've got the flu as well? I'm wondering if it's something that went round at the bash.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:01, Reply)

Damn
I knew I shouldn't have snogged everyone :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:03, Reply)

Well,
I didn't get ill at the bash.
I guess I didn't snog you then :p

Damn badgers and their TB :p
( Cawl, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:04, Reply)

Yeah
I just spat in your drink though so your symptoms should start soon.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:07, Reply)

I wasn't drinking...
*shocked*

Who the hell got your spit in their drink TGB?
:|
( Cawl, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:09, Reply)

Oh god...
I hope the person I snogged hasn't given it to me, or there will be hell to pay.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:10, Reply)

Only a few people
on my list *taps list*

I can't remember if you were on it or not Kaol :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:11, Reply)

Well,
I don't think me *cough* non-alcoholic drinks were around for long enough to be spat in :p

I wanna go home, but I've gotta wait for a damn lift.
And I've been up since six.
*twitches*

I've got far too much anger this evening, it's gonna only take one more thing to push me over the edge.
( Cawl, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:14, Reply)

*prods Kaol with stick*
*hides very quickly*
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:16, Reply)

So...
I kinda killed the thread with my anger...
*sighs*
( Cawl, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:29, Reply)