FAQ(OTW)
I think it's time QOTW had a FAQ, like /links and /board

The worthless dross used to sink to the bottom when the '/all' trick worked, but for reasons no-one has ever explained, '/all' is no more.

This post made me realise just how nauseatingly insipid QOTW is becoming. Of late, there are unpleasant smells lingering everwhere; I find posts increasingly to be

* Boring non-stories
* Wit-free
* Not 'b3ta' enough (Bert Monkeysex, I feel your pain)
* Mawkish emo-drivel
* Illiterate
* Trolls. Really crap ones.

Reading some recent submissions feels too much like hard work, leaving my wretched amusement-cock witheringly flaccid.

My suggestions for the FAQ:

* Your post should be interesting (to other people).
* Please use a spell-checker. *PLEASE*.
* Stay on-topic (unless in Off Topic)
* "...enough said" is not enough
* Constructive criticism is fine, but don't just insult other people's work. That would be cunty.

I know, I'm a moaning twat and I don't want to discourage interesting posts (regardless of content) so that's about it from me.

What would you add to a QOTW FAQ?
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:02, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wholeheartedly agree
and it's the reason I wrote this post:

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post347476

...to try and get an idea of what to put in such an faq.

I'm quite happy to help write a good, concise faq if it's a popular enough idea.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:10, Reply)

I agree with this
I definitely agree with the enough said one

can we also say no use of the word "cue" unless they are referring to snooker (or similar) or they have actually been given a cue by a prompter or something.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:13, Reply)

7.
7. As a rule, QOTW is usually won by a select group of individuals, known as "The QOTW Gods". This rule has remained unbroken. Do not break it. To make sure, only click the "I like this link" if you see the following names:

"I have run out of coke"

..and the others.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:16, Reply)

At last
somebody has something sensible to say.

More of this, I tell you, and more calling each other cuntbiscuit.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:19, Reply)

FUCK YOU CHARTCAT
I BET YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME IN A DARKENED ROOM WITH A GEORDIE AND A GILLETTE MAKING UP STORIES ABOUT HOW JESUS CAME TO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY AND SAID SORRY FOR BEING DEAD FOR 3 DAYS BECAUSE IT WAS THE WRONG LENGTH.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:21, Reply)

This ^
Chart Cat you have my glowing endorsement (ooer!)
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:21, Reply)

himjim
in your profile pic, you look like an evil 118.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:25, Reply)

How about now?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Ooh manly!
Also chart cat, stick a link to this in the Question. Lots of ppl don't come over this way.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Agreed - qotw is sometimes dull
In the spirit of entertainment (and procrastination - I have work to do but don't want to do it because I should be in a yoga class but have children off sick from school but not sick enough for me to minister over them so they're watching 'Spy Hard' on Sky Movies) I'm going to post about my schoolgirl larks when I didn't 'fit in' - get the Benny Hill music ready.

/shameless whoring
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Can we add something
about not being creepy when anyone mentions that they're female?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Hey Chomp...
You look sexy.

Want to have sex with a microwaved grapefruit?

Do ya?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Less moaning

Particularly around, jobs, childhood trauma and divorces.

More stories involving, wanking, shitting, pr0n, horses, gambling with deadly outcomes and cheese.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 11:24, Reply)

well
if we are going to have rules surely

No pictures

No links

no reposts in new entrys

No first / last bollocks

have to be played.
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Why no pictures or links?
I found the pics in last week's question amusing, and they painted a thousand words etc.

I'd say links and pics are fine if they's amusing and relevant to the story.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 11:42, Reply)

If you are talking of retaining
the purity and sanctity of qotw then we have a /board for images, a /links for links and a /talk for cunts.

only kidding /talk is a lovely place only sparsely populated with dead eyed freaks
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)

It's very ironic....
You all love the anarchy of B3ta but want to impose rules about posting on here.

Am I the only one that finds this amusing?
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 12:15, Reply)

shut it
hippy!
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)

bgb
Anarchy's all well and good, but often QOTW is like having to listen to an hour of Des O'Connor, just to hear five minutes of the Sex Pistols.

I think it just makes sense to have some guidelines for posting here - like chart cat says, board and links have theirs, and I think it'd help.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 12:34, Reply)

How about
Just have /all reinstated and everybody act like themselves again instead of being angsty b3taish like they think they should be?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 12:47, Reply)

*gets all angsty-b3taish-like*
I honestly couldn't give a fuck what anybody else posts, I'm here to amuse myself and will carry on doing so.

If you want to chat and talk fluff, good for you, if you want to call me a cunt, you're welcome, help yourself to one of my sisters.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:23, Reply)

I am attempting to do my bit
I've now posted two stories on qotw and I'm thinking of some more.

It seems that my life revolves around me looking a fool and having accidents.


And I know I'm not the only one who instantly thinks (after making a fool of/injuring/embarrassing yourself), "Oh, that'll make a good QOTW answer!"
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 13:49, Reply)

I'd like to do your bit.
You know what I mean?

*raises one eyebrow*
*stares at chickenlady's crotch*

Of course you do, PJM told me you're filth.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:02, Reply)

*titter*
and

*snigger*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)

My mantra is simple
Post what you like as long as it's literate and relevant. Doesn't have to be funny in my book.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Jan 2009, 19:10, Reply)

We're not trying to impose rules, just offer guidelines.
I've been thinking of writing a FAQ for QOTW for quite some time. Amongst other things, it will give you some guidelines for writing a good post, explain why \board and \qotw are fundamentally different in nature (\board is "Look what I just did in Photoshop" whereas \qotw involves us sharing our intimate secrets), what Home Sweet Home (HSH) threads are all about and how they came in to being etc, and how to become part of the HSH posse, etc... Despite the anarchistic origins and nature of HSH threads, the FAQ will contain some guidelines on how to get along with your fellow b3tans (in the past, there have been a few 'incidents'), as the no-holds barred open-ness combined with the tasteless humour can be a bit dis-orienting for some (hint: don't insult anyone and don't judge anyone).

b3ta - everything you like and some things you don't like.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 19:17, Reply)

Oh, and here's a question with an answer
Q: TMI?
A: Nah!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 19:41, Reply)

While we are ranting...
Add a ban on people writing 'google it' when they use a term or reference that they think others may not understand.

What is the story here? 1,000 people should open a new tab, type in a search term and dig through the results to find an informative site and discover the explanation? Nice one.

How about if you use a term that you think a large number of people might not understand you explain it, or provide a link to an explanation. Or dont if you dont want to - that's fine too because the internet is not new and we are aware we have the option to look things up.

But please dont type the instruction 'google it' you rude arrogant secret-knowledge plonkers.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 19:57, Reply)

*Hangs head in shame*
I stand corrected...it's lazy to put 'google it', so I've updated my post and done the googling and put a link for those who want to know.

www.b3ta.com/questions/fittingin/post349463

There, you can check.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 21:57, Reply)

Thanks for the suggestions
No3L and I will have a crack at putting the FAQ together and when we're happy with it, we'll post it in OT for your comments. When it looks like a finished article, we'll submit it to the mods/developers.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 7:50, Reply)

Here's another question
Q: What is the link to the "I love horses" site?
A: http://www.deagostini.co.uk/ilovehorses/
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 23:35, Reply)

I just want to
read stuff that has a story and makes me laugh. Loads n loads of posts I've read recently are just spouting off about someone's opinions, or even worse, doing the daytime talk show routine and bore the shit out of me. This is not a place to tell us your problems... not unless they're funny problems, with an amusing story, and quite possible a bit of sexual deviance. For heavens sake, won't someone think of the children!
( SpankyHanky, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 10:52, Reply)