As so many people spend a lot of their working day here, I wonder

what do you all do and conversely what would your perfect job be?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:45, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I do absolutely jack shit
Well, I am the IT department for a small company. Very rarely have anything to do besides a few random odd jobs, I could do my job in 15 minutes a day apart from the days of catastrophic emergencies.

My dream job is event production management, although I do quite a lot of that as well I haven't managed to make a paying career out of it yet. I'm actually a sound engineer by training.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:50, Reply)

I'm a data analyst
so a lot of the times I'm waiting for macro's and reports to run.

My ideal job would be that great barrier reef one that was mentioned last week.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:51, Reply)

I'm a civil engineer in job title
I mostly work in the coastal and rivers sector, building flood models and stuff like that.

I quite enjoy it, but I think if I can't make it as a guitarist in a band then I'd like to be a blacksmith.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:51, Reply)

*steps out of offline closet*
I manage payroll departments for a living, I've been doing this since 2001.

As for my perfect job, I'd be a Spitfire pilot, which must be the absolute coolest thing in the entire world. However, the only professional Spitfire pilots today are either employed by the RAF or own their own vintage aircraft restoration business.

Failing that, I'd settle for running my own bike shop. I find that fettling my bicycles is something I enjoy far too much, indeed I will be doing some fettling on Friday when my new Marin Rock Springs turns up.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I yam ay soft-ware dee-vel-o-pah.
I write software for television companies to manage their programmes. I'd rather go and act for a living, but the preference isn't strong enough to warrant living on stress and penury.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:53, Reply)

answer phones for rich people and stockbrokers
Ideal job?

Watching telly, making fab food and drinking wine in various pleasant locations as well as reviewing various spectacles which catch my interest.

I gather AA Gill does a similar thing only I'm not (as much of) a pompous twat.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:53, Reply)

I do Health & Safety,
And day-to-day graphic design.

But my ideal job would be either:

A radio presenter

Or

A trauma surgeon
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Well I'm an account manager

working on business and marketing solutions.

All I ever wanted to do was write adverts, but I wasn't good enough.

Failing that I'd be a ski bum, if it paid enough...simple things.


@Vipros - Did my degree in geography so I've spent quite some time in my life pondering coastal defence solutions as well!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Kaol

Was it you that made health and safety "mad"?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:57, Reply)

If hear the phrase
"It's Health And Safety gone mad" any more at work, THERE WILL BE BLOOD.
And I'm not filling out the accident forms.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:01, Reply)

I really ment mad

in a stabby way.

IE lift with your legs, or i'll cut out your liver.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Oh!
Er... Nope...
The way I see it, we should abolish H&S, and let Natural Selection take over.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:06, Reply)

Kaol + Health and Safety
does not compute.

I work for a Stationary Stationery Company
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Yes you do Halfy.
Is it fun?

I'm in the process of applying for a job where "The role will mainly be to maintain cultures of flies of forensic significance".
Sounds awesome.
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:21, Reply)

17 years working my way up th eadmin ladder,
I'm now the executive assistant to the CEO of a company that repairs and upgrades PDA's/handhelds.

I love my job - the boss is awesome, pay is good, I get gadgets.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:21, Reply)

I'm a scientist
which is probably my ideal job too. But not in America.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:25, Reply)

Im working in a warehouse at the moment
And going to be training to be a teacher. Ideal job would probably be running a record shop
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:34, Reply)

What science are you doing?

I hope it's a death ray!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:34, Reply)

My CV looks great
But really I've spent about 16 years doing not much in IT.

My ideal job would be as a landscape\travel photographer.
My pics would still be mediocre but I'd be enjoying it.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:40, Reply)

I'm one of those student bums
Who classes himself as a 'professional musician' as I get paid for doing gigs in a ceilidh band.

Dream job? Product designer, with own company. May that dream come true...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Oracle Developer
I am currently the office guru, the undisputed god of all things Oracle. I like it because I think of it as puzzle solving, so I tend to read about development and answer questions on forums even in my own time. That's why I'm so much better at it than these mongs.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Not what I do but what I just did.
Scene: On my desk, a hot, fresh cup of coffee in a polystyrene cup, next to it, a similar polystyrene cup, filled with peanut M&Ms. Intently reading a website, I absentmindedly reach for some M&Ms and dip my fingers into the nearest cup...

That'll bring you back to the real world pretty quick.
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Official job title:
Strategy Development Powerpoint Monkey

Ideal job: One where I can sit all day thinking up analogies and getting paid silly money for it. If I could do that, I'd be as happy as a tramp who wakes up on a sunny summer's day to find a Netto carrier bag under his bench, containing a two litre bottle of own brand strong cider, four packets of fags, a copy of yesterday's Daily Sport, half a ham and cheese sandwich and 75p in change.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Haha!
Awh, Richy, I've done a similar thing...

Sitting outside a cafe, my hangover-cure breakfast turns up, along with a dark, steaming coffee.

I ascent-mindedly stub my cigarette out in the ash tray.
Oh... Not the ash tray...
"Can I have another coffee please?"
( Cawl, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:08, Reply)

When i get old i want to be the owner
of a seafood restaurant in Portugal. I'd grow a big white beard, spend the day sitting at the bar feeling up the young waitresses that I hire on a regular basis to replace the ones that keep banging on about sexual harrassment or other bollocks.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:31, Reply)

***GEEK ALERT***
My business plan was to open a store (and then a chain) of console gaming cafes, much like internet cafes, but you register and play against each other in leagues etc. I suppose there probably are a few like that already not that I've seen any.

But to own a cafe empire (and earn a shiteload!) that primarily encourages console gaming.. Well that would be nice. Geeky, but nice.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:34, Reply)

There's places like that in Glasgow Weeker
I don't like them. I'd rather just buy the games and play online.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I work on a desk as a taxi despatcher.
I take three hundred calls a day and basically run the company for my boss.

I'm already working on my ideal job. Failing that, I'd love to run a recording studio, or do what my mate did and get a job flying people to and from oil rigs.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Ah yes Penguin
I fear the reality of this pipe dream would be a collection of competitive nerds with no social skills being forced to interact.

Which would not be good.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 17:18, Reply)

I design and write
the software that controls engines and gearboxes for a UK-based car manufacturer.

It already is my ideal job. I get to go to all sorts of exotic locations to test cars in various climates, and borrow flashy motors for the weekend to 'evaluate', as well as thrash them around our own proving ground.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 17:19, Reply)

I love my job
No, really, I do! I set my own hours, make my own appointments, my colleagues are great, the support from the parent company is faultless and I get to do loads of travel. Not to mention the company car, the expense account, company credit card and TWO fully-expensed broadband connections (ane at home and one at my G/F's).

Add in a good salary, generous bonuses and the fascination I have for the problem-solving part of my role and I think I have the perfect job!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 17:38, Reply)

I'm an 'academic'
Feels sort of strange describing myself like that, but for the last year teaching in the English department of a university has paid the bills.

I used to just write freelance, but to be honest it's almost impossible to eat and be freelance unless you've a journalism career behind you.
So teaching it is.

And you know what?

It's my perfect job.
I love the fact that I get to spend hours every week going on about how fantastic this book or poem is and how much hard work it is to write a novel. I love that I'm required to keep on learning stuff myself. I love that I need to keep on getting things published to justify my employment.

And I hope that soon I get taken on permanently. That's the only fly in the ointment - I'm sessional.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 17:54, Reply)

I'm a student veterinary nurse
and while the money's crap, I get all my training paid for me, I go to college one day a week, I help run puppy school as an add on and I work with some very smart, but cool people.

Two days a week I work on reception as part of my training as the receptionist is now training to be a nurse as well, so I have plenty of b3tatime :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 18:30, Reply)

I shall join the penguin
in the professional musician corner. Only, as a graduate I won't use the quotation marks because it says professional musician on my ol' tax returns it does ;)

At the moment Im working for a symphony orchestra until my broken collar bone heals enough to get back on the gigging circuit. But I'm mostly a recording artist. Seen some fun gigs in my time though! Woo

Ideal job? I honestly have no idea. I hope that one day I will work it out..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 20:01, Reply)

I'm a process Engineer
and I manage several research projects into the development of new polymers.

I spend all my spare time producing music. I hope to get something released this year, but who knows...:)
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 1:08, Reply)

I work for an investment bank supporting its IT infrastructure
but I'd rather be doing something that doesn't eat away at my soul every single moment of every single day.

My ideal job would be one that gives something back to society, as it's nice to earn a decent salary but I feel like I'm raping the human race as I do it.

I'd like to do a job where, at the end of the day, I could go home knowing I've changed someone else's life for the better. I used to do lots of charity work at Uni so that's something I could see myself doing again, but to do so I would have to sacrifice all the comforts to which I've grown quite accustomed.

If that doesn't seem viable, I'd like to make ends meet by running a small bar for locals and the odd tourist on one of the smaller Greek islands. Chilled out living, fresh food every day, none of the bullshit that comes with living in the "civilized" world. Sheer bliss!
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 5:03, Reply)

Teacher
at a school in Japan.

Ideal job?
Same job, but better pay.
(knackerz is skinning up, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)