.
Singin'

Alabama, all summer long.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:02, 93 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Let's get started.
'A feisty raccoon has bitten off a pervert's PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal. Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified - but toothy - fur ball. "When I saw the raccoon I thought I'd have some fun," he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow. Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood. "He's been told they can get things working again but they can't sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal. "That's gone forever so there isn't going to be much for them to work with" - The Sun.

You would though, wouldn't you? I think it's their sexy hands.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:03, Reply)

They make your cock look huge.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:07, Reply)

@TLiC
I suppose so, but I'm more of a stripy-tail person.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:07, Reply)

Mmmm
Ring-tailed lemur.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:08, Reply)

Ahh, the lemur.
They've got those big sexy eyes.

Like children.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:13, Reply)

I'm not really a pedophile
Come back everyone!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:25, Reply)

I never left.
*hides in bushes*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:26, Reply)

* returns *
Thank fuck for that. I recently swapped my bum with a 5 year-old.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:27, Reply)

Just filling in more fucking forms
And listening to The Smashing Pumkins at the moment. Waiting for the energy to get a cup of tea.... How is everyone else?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:27, Reply)

Evenin Fredz and other newcomers
The temperature in my office has returned to normal today. Pity I forgot my warm top.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:32, Reply)

Here's a question
I just posted a link on the /links board. Now I just found another one. Is there any etiquette about posting several links in quick succession?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:39, Reply)

Is it just me
or do people who live in London get more wrong-number calls than people who live elsewhere?

EDIT: @TLiC: If you get positive comments about the first one, go ahead and post. If not, wait for someone else to post something.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:39, Reply)

Time for me to bugger of I'm afraid
* buggers off *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:47, Reply)

Thanks
Link posted!

In other news, Kylie Minogue's Agent Provocateur commercial voted best cinema ad ever.

If you never saw it at the time you need to see it. Go hunt it down.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:49, Reply)

That's not a mechanical bull.
I've been on one. They're made out of vinyl and then they're waxed up real well so you fall RIGHT the fuck off.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:00, Reply)

I suspect
that's not the point of the video.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:06, Reply)

well of course it isn't, I was trying to distract myself from the incessant urge to stuff my hands in my pants

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:11, Reply)

Don't fight it
it's very comfy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:14, Reply)

Quiet tonight isn't it?
Has everyone's broadband connections been cut off because they couldn't afford to pay their phone bills?

You'd think there was a credit crunch or something.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:25, Reply)

Oh, only if I were home!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:28, Reply)

So where are you
Kristine?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:31, Reply)

I'm at work.
Not working.
edit: Oh, I totally meant for the pants stuffing thing, I have broadband at home as well.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:33, Reply)

Ah, I see
I'm at home, not working.

I could be working from home. But I'm not.

Or something.

Actually, I do sometimes work from home. Well, I say work - I actually do a little bit, flick over to b3ta, stay there for a while, go off and make some coffee, come back, see what's happening, decide "nothing much", wander off for a smoke, come back, check my work emails, do a bit more work, wander off again, come back, log onto b3ta, curse myself for missing the good stuff, shrug, have a smoke, make lunch, come back, do a bit more work....

I actually seem to get more done when I work from home though, which is odd.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:38, Reply)

Hmm...there isn't much for me to do here anyway
then my boss went and hired some bloke who now does 50% of my tiny work load.
I write a lot at home, so I spend, approximately, 13-14 hours on a computer monday through friday.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:45, Reply)

Hiho guys
Sorry I haven't been round in a while, you know how it is. WOD (landlord's girlfriend) is staying true to form... "All blonde bimbos below the age of 30 would screw you over for a tenner".

Case proven for my ex, but I think some friends of mine would have something to say about that...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:48, Reply)

WOD?
what's that then?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:52, Reply)

Evenin
Evening folks. Hoping that this time, after flitting in and out all day, I'll have more than 5 minutes to spend here! How are y'all?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:55, Reply)

Evening al, kirst
You haven't missed a thing; we've just been killing time until you got here.

you lovely, fluffy cunts

hugs
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 20:59, Reply)

WOD = Waste of DNA

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:00, Reply)

FUCK
Just had a player sent off against Man U for a 50/50 challenge.

Bloody typical.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:00, Reply)

Are Man-Ure playing tonight?
Hmm. I'll wait until the Tyne-Wear Derby on Sunday, where I can get spectacularly pissed and bemoan the state of north east footy.

Don't fancy our chances much against City tomorrow either :(
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:02, Reply)

@Davros
Evening to you too! I'm awfully bored this evening...

Anything exciting happening?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:03, Reply)

WoD
WoD... WoD...

Hi!
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:05, Reply)

Ah yes...
For those going to the York bash, 'fraid I can't make it. The maternal parental unit is in need of my help moving house.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:05, Reply)

DOUBLE FUCK
and then they score again after Rob Styles gives a free-kick that even the Man U players look shocked at.

Everybody include Rob Styles in your prayers to Satan tonight.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:06, Reply)

WoD
I've always liked "waste of skin".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:06, Reply)

Evening slags
I made some awesome chilli tonight. I made loads so I have some for tomorrow.

It has a lot of beans in it. I think I might be lifting the duvet tonight.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:10, Reply)

So...
Football...
Ok.

I'm torn between watching Supernatural, making a picture, or doing both at the same time, badly.

EDIT: HI AL! I made curry tonight. It had spinach in it, and was great.
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:11, Reply)

Aye, but Woddy is a good nickname
And neither of them know what it means, so I'm happy.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:14, Reply)

Spinach is an excellent food
It goes well in so many things. Plus it's high in iron which may or may not lead to you having more iron in your blood which is generally a good thing.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:15, Reply)

Unless you're that guy who gets
All the iron taken out of him by Magneto.
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:18, Reply)

That scene sprung to my mind too
I like that film.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:21, Reply)

Oh dear...
That scene is incredibly grizzly! Still it could be worse, they could have had it pulled out of his butt or something.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:21, Reply)

Spinach is awesome in curry
Sagwala is a name to look for on the menu.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:21, Reply)

or sometimes just sag

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:24, Reply)

I love a good sag.
Great stuff.
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:27, Reply)

Someone talk about something other than football
Before I start a ritual that will give leprosy to Rob Styles' entire family.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:28, Reply)

Chicken Sagwala
Is a curry with Sag=spinach.

Side dishes with spinach in have Sag or Saag (or Saaag if you're in a comedy restaurant).
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:29, Reply)

I don't know
I disappear for a moment, and the talk gets round to sagging...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:30, Reply)

Rob Styles
Is a shit referee.

FACT!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:32, Reply)

I love you DG
All I needed was that speck of sympathy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:34, Reply)

A lot of restaurants
have dishes called Sagwalas. Some restaurants have dishes called Sag chicken, or Saag lamb or other such things.

Since the language used in Indian restuarant menus is often a somewhat bastardised version of (displays woeful ignorance of other cultures), errrrr, nope, can't think of what language it is.

That's really embarrassing and has detracted from the point I was trying to make.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:35, Reply)

Mr Chains
I've lost count of the number of crappy decisions he's given against Newcastle.

He's a cunt. Oh yes. When the refereeing revolution comes he'll be first against the wall.

Except he'd probably appeal against the decision.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:37, Reply)

Evening all
Was it 'hindi' you were looking for there al?

Are we all well in this neck of the woods today?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:38, Reply)

Or gujarati
That's the other main one.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:39, Reply)

Yes!
That's the word i'm looking for. Thanks PoD.

How are you these days? Haven't seen you in a while.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:40, Reply)

'lo PoD
I'm about to go and eat.

Might be back, might not.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:41, Reply)

Well a hi and possible bye to you then Davros
I haven't been about much recently al. I had exams, then went on holiday to Bristol for a few days, then had a project progress report due today, so I've been a bit busier than lately. But I may be about more now.

Are you well Mr al? Settled back in to our fairly poor weather again?

You fire anyone for fun today Kaol?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:44, Reply)

Oh for the love of fuck
Man U score a 5th miles offside, after yet another Albion player gets booked for kicking the ball alway - something that 3 Man U players have done without being penalised.

The camera pans away as the referee drops to his knees at the halfway line and tugs at Ferguson's zip.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 21:50, Reply)

No firing
But I had to deal with a guy who cut the bone in his index finger on a saw.
*sighs*
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:01, Reply)

OOOOWWWWWWW
that sounds frickin awful!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:04, Reply)

Yeah,
Poor guy.
He's gonna be ok, but I had to do quite a lot.
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:07, Reply)

Ning all
I'm eating eggs n waffles (Bird's Eye Potato Waffles no less, they're waffly versatile), spending a rare night at home and trying not to think about smoking.

How's everyone?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:08, Reply)

Waffles FTW
I love waffles. Waffles are one of the reasons I'm such a tubber.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:10, Reply)

The reason I'm a tubber
is that I remain essentially motionless from getting up to going to bed.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:14, Reply)

Yeah
I have that problem to an extent too. It's the reason I think my office is colder than it is too.

My office is very cold, but equally my lack of motion makes me feel colder.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:18, Reply)

Meh.
I'm a scrawny bastard, cos I pace up and down and can't keep still. It's a bit crap realy. Can't find stuff that fits
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:19, Reply)

I should do that
I need more pacing up and down.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:20, Reply)

You are a bit scrawny aren't you.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:21, Reply)

I suspect
I will become a tubber. I can see why people put on weight when they give up smoking.
The urge to put something in an orifice to satisfy the craving is pretty overwhelming, and food's the handiest substitute.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:22, Reply)

It's pretty simple
Just drink more caffene related products than is humanly possible, and then worry about everything.....
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:22, Reply)

Or buy a LOT of dildos
I'm just saying with the orifices and stuff.

I found a link to people caught being dicks on google maps but then found a counterlink which says they were deliberately posing. Damn.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:30, Reply)

Well I did get uber horny too
which was all well and good at weekends, but scoffing a sticky bun causes fewer problems during breaks at work.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:33, Reply)

I think
that the principles of wanking wednesdays can be applied to any break at work.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:48, Reply)

I don't get
How you could do that at work :/ Mind you, having said that most of my workplaces have either been schools or residential care homes
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:56, Reply)

Well, without going into to much detail
you want to use your hand like it's a vagina.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:05, Reply)

Well, that explains where I was going wrong!
Any more hints? (Takes notes)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:06, Reply)

@ al
You make me do those out loud laughs.

I heart you.
( wanderlust, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:07, Reply)

Hello lusty!
How are you?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:08, Reply)

stuff

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:09, Reply)

Hmmm...
Looks like someone's had fun with Studio Max.
Or one of the other 3D softwares available.
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:11, Reply)

:O
That's very shiny - but I'm a little worried that the wine might fall out and waste
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:11, Reply)

Quick! Drink teh wine! Drink teh wine!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:13, Reply)

I'm not that impressed...
Sharing an office with a 3D designer has made me far too critical.
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:15, Reply)

Oh, wait
The floor looks shiny and like it won't soak up the wine. No hurry, just fetch a straw
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:15, Reply)

But it will run off the table
Stop being so grumpy Kaol. Be impressed.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:17, Reply)

No.
I'm not impressed.
I could get him to do better.

I hate you all.
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:18, Reply)

Kaols got his grumpy pants on.
I'm going to send him a big internet hug to make him smile.

*hugs*

And with that I'm off to make the bed and get some sleep.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:22, Reply)

Kaol
Don't be a meanie boy pants.

I'm going to bed now, night night everyone.

Edit. Ohhh check out me and al, both talking about boy pants and bed.
( wanderlust, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:23, Reply)

Goodnight
You mong-chomping fuck buckets.

love you all really
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Love you too Davros!
Have a nice sleep lusty.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:28, Reply)

Fuck off.
I'm awesome.
( Cawl, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 23:30, Reply)

smack your mong up
I just cashed out $190 from teh poker. Screw everyone!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 0:11, Reply)