Breaking up
Dear Deirde,
Whats the best way to go about this - Should we meet in a neutral place or go and meet her after work or something? When we meet - should i just come out with it there and then in the street - i know thats not ideal but in a pub it might mean a really awkward 3/4 pint where it's just small talk/repitition which nobody wants.I don't think she's expecting it and i don't want to come across as a prick.
I haven't a lot of experience points in this particualr area and im dreading it.
thanks
(BarryChuckle, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:30, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Picking a neutral place will just make her suspicious.
She will hound you until you do it over the phone, text or email which saves you the bother of having to face her but it depends entirely on how well you manage your conscience - I recommend alcohol for this.

Better you take her somewhere you often go anyway unless she's likely to freak out and make it impossible for you to ever go back there.

Ya gotta think about no.1.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Do you need a new patio?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:43, Reply)

ROSES R RED, VIOLETS R BLU
THIS IS A TXT
2 TELL U I'M DUMPIN U
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:50, Reply)

I think you should leave it to me
To you. To me. To you.

apologies for lack of help
( djtrialprice, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Murder her and tell everyone she left you for Australia.

Either that or fake your own death.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:08, Reply)

How long have you been going out?

Sleep with her sister.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:15, Reply)

I was planning to do it that day anyway
but "the talk" was initiated with my ex when she came home from shopping in tears cos someone had stolen her bag, and she detected something wrong with my hug....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:20, Reply)

I think people set too much store by how it's done
because I don't think doing it over the phone is any worse than doing it in person, if they're going to be shocked then that won't change no matter how you do it and sometimes having it done over the phone is better because it's short and quick and the dumpee doesn't then have to face the dumper and pretend they're not overly bothered. This counts doubly for if she's likely to cry and scream as she will probably be quite embarrassed later and wish you hadn't had to see her like that.

NB. None of this counts if you've been going out for a year or so, in which case phoning to call it off is about as pleasant as stamping on bunnies.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:21, Reply)

Send a fax to her work
never fails.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Here:
www.b3ta.com/questions/pleasereleaseme/post167606

Or you can set up a profile on a dating site, send explicit messages to the girls you meet online from her phone while she's in the room, and for added benefit leave her wondering why you have the URL for a local escort girl written down on the back of an envelope.
I haven't quite worked out why we're still on speaking terms.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Carve her name
in your forehead with a compass.

/BB

Edit: chcb - that's one of my favourite posts here.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Thanks CHCB
i'll follow that list to a T.(besides the crying bit, obviously)
Failing that i'll carve her name in my forehead, send her a text and then kill her and bury her under my new patio. Thanks you lot.
(BarryChuckle, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:49, Reply)

We're here to help.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:58, Reply)

screaming "I HATE THE WAY YOU BREATHE"
sounds like a good way to go about it if you ask me.

If it ever comes to it (god(s) forbid) that Mrs V and I split up, I'm using that line.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Be a man about it
Just stop speaking to her...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 17:01, Reply)

Whatever you do don't lie about why you want to break up.
She WILL find out eventually and this will hurt her more than the initial break up. Lies are for cowards.
( girlinthehole, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 18:17, Reply)

Somewhere neutral
Switzerland perhaps.

Failing that, not the pub. If soap operas are anything to go by, you will end up with a drink over your head.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 18:25, Reply)

What BGB said in bucketloads!!!
Anyway, I came here to post a link to CHCB's post, but it turns out she came here to post it herself. Anyway, have a read of the "What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?" QOTW.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 0:50, Reply)

3 words
"I am gay"
(knackerz is skinning up, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 1:31, Reply)

How did this work out?
Did you do the deed yet?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 9:33, Reply)

DrTugnut2
No, not yet was going to do it last night but she had an unbelievably bad day and i didnt have the heart to break up after letting her vent for an hour. Tomorrow.
(BarryChuckle, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 16:29, Reply)