If you were being attacked by a giant
what would you use to protect yourself/ fight back?
( Mellicious is made of candy, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:22, 24 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I would invent
a Vanessafletzapult, and knock the giant off his feet. Then I would set upon him with ravenous celebrity impersonators, and a pocket watch set precisely one minute slower than Big Ben.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Kaol
'cos he's a giant himself and has access to a variety of stabby objects. I'd rig up a catapult and fire him at the approaching menace, and watch in satisfaction as his whirling arm motion slices the bastard's cock off.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:25, Reply)

HaHa
Kaol Scissorhands! Now that would be effective.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:30, Reply)

A big gun.
.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:26, Reply)

My fists
I'm fucking tall, me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I'd get a terrorist
to fly a plane into its balls.

ka-boom!
( Mellicious is made of candy, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:29, Reply)

D's G
Don't invent uses for Kaol! All of his knives are pretend!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Noooo!
don't say that; I read it on the internet so it must be true.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:32, Reply)

It isn't true
I watched him once, followed him to his Mum's house. All of his knives are big, chunky, made of plastic, and have 'Fisher Price' written on them.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:33, Reply)

A giant what?
A giant turtle I could handle, but I wouldn't want to try to beat off an actual giant.

I saw it attempted on a documentary I downloaded the other day - the heroine of the piece just looking in pain, and it positively encouraged the giant.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Damn.
Another illusion shattered. You'll be telling me next that you're not a real monkey.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:35, Reply)

You would SO
beat off an actual giant.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:35, Reply)

You've met me
You know that my monkeyness is inherent and obvious.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:36, Reply)

MrOli
I wouldn't want to beat off a real giant either. I wouldn't be able to get my hands round his cock for one thing. It would probably take a special kind of wanking machine to be effective.

And a large umbrella to hide behind at the vinegar strokes.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:36, Reply)

I personally
would use my suit of armour and cut all the tendons with a sword.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:45, Reply)

You want to know how to beat a giant?
Ask Fedor...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i0iZcLIrTQ
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:49, Reply)

I would club him to death with my cock.
Or pull out the plug behind his ankle and let the magic animating fluid run out.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:51, Reply)

That must mean
you have a pretty big cock
( Mellicious is made of candy, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:54, Reply)

I would fuck him

with my enormous AIDS cock and then sing Philedelphia over and over again until the stress became too much and he pulled his guts out of his own anus.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:55, Reply)

I'd bake a giant cup-cake.
But switch the raisins for razorblades.
And the sugar for AIDs.

Then leave it out as a peace-offering.
( Cawl, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Elastic bands and a stylophone
Can't go wrong
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Pictures

Or not a girl, but a trucker named brian from Preston with IBS and a penchant for deep fried pie sandwiches.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 14:29, Reply)

GIGANTACOCK

GIGANTACOCK will save us.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Simple
A nice sling and a rock... I read this factual book about it and it worked
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 15:59, Reply)