Mark Kermode is a Sunday School teacher
Odd, but true: www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/apr/09/film-mark-kermode-interview

I think he'd be a great teacher, but it begs the question: who would you like to be your teacher, when, and in what subject?

I'll start with the obvious Biology lessons at 16 by *insert attractive lady's name here*.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 9:25, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know who'd be a shit teacher
KRS One -aka 'The Teacher' - hailed by hip hop retards as some kind of academic genius, and deliverer of such nuggets as:

'Police be clocking me, but logically they got to be
cause they were taught that serious poetry would come from Socrates'

That famous poet, y'know Socrates. He was a kind of Athenian proto-Pam Ayres, don't you know. Love his poems, can't think which is his best.

That lyric has irritated me far more than it should for far longer than is sensible.

Thanks 'Teacher'. Next week: 'Philosophers of the 20th Century: Roger McGough'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 9:44, Reply)

The one Socrates poem I know of;
Romans are red,
Carthaginians are blue,
The Republic was Plato's greatest work
and I like bumming boys too
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 9:52, Reply)

CLASSIC(s)
Takes me back, that one.

Up there with 'I Wish I'd Looked After me Hemlock'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Sorry to go on
but it's really getting on my tits.

He seems to be saying 'I am under police surveillance, which is understandable because they've been schooled in Classical literature. My style of MCing is different from the Athenian rhetorical model and thus I am perceived as a threat. By the US law enforcement agency. That's right - my rapping is illegally good.'

What. A. Tosser.

I really need to let this go, don't I?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Have a wank
and a smoke, you'll feel much better for it.

Fill a pillowcase with shit, draw his face on it, pummel it with your fists, throw it off a tall building, and set it on fire.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:07, Reply)

I doubt anyone
can better that analysis and deconstruction of his lyrics.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Pedantry Ahoy!
You're misusing the term "beg the question".

The relevant bit is this:
"Begging the question" (petitio principii) does NOT mean "raising the question". Rather, to beg the question is to commit the fallacy of presupposing in the premises of an argument that which is to be shown in the conclusion.
Allow me to demonstrate. "I think, therefore I am," says Descartes. The argument here would look like this:
P1: I am thinking
P2: Thinking things exist
C: Therefore I exist.
The problem here is that, if the existence of "I" is the conclusion of the argument, it really oughtn't to be in the major premise. The argument is, therefore, invalid; and the reason it is invalid is that it begs the question. "Begging the question", in other words, doesn't really have a great deal to do with asking anything.

(For the nonce, what Descartes should have said is:
P1: There is thinking going on
P2: Thinking things exist
C: Therefore I exist...
... except that he shouldn't. This argument is invalid because now the problem is that the "I" has come from nowhere. The point is that "I think, therefore I am" is a crock whichever way you look at it.)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:21, Reply)

I love it when you talk dirty.
.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Oh Enzyme
you and your pedantic ways.

*rolls eyes*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:28, Reply)

He has the most hideous nose I've ever seen.
*EDIT* KRS One has, not Enzyme. He's at number 2.

I've just remembered, he did a record called 'My Philosophy'. It's probably about maths.

*EDIT 2* To my knowledge, Enzyme has not released a record called 'My Philosophy'. That was KRS One.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Well then
Can I beg Enzyme's forgiveness?

Or should I presuppose it?
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:36, Reply)

I think...
R Lee Ermey would be great as a teacher in any subject really, especially PE.

How long do you reckon the cheeky little fuckers would talk back for, before he destroyed the little shits without laying a finger on them?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Enzyme, can it be...
...that 'begs the question' can now be accepted as meaning 'raises the issue' (as I used above) because this is how the majority uses it?

Denotative meaning surely only goes so far in defining a concept in language; a phrase means what it is said to mean. I'm thinking of the term 'McJob' - McDonald's tried to get the OED to change their definition of it a couple of years ago to better reflect the fact that jobs at Maccy-D's have good prospects. The OED said it was not their job to change meaning, only to record meaning (and application).

Does that argument apply here? We use 'begs the question' in a certain way, so can't it mean that?
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I would have liked Johnny Ball to have been my maths teacher.
I might have actually learnt something.

I think my maths knowledge goes as far as long division.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 10:53, Reply)

@LoGG
Hmmm... I think you might be right. I'm inclined to agree that use determines meaning. But I don't want it to. I don't want to cede ground to the masses like that.

:(

@BGB: You would have liked Disasterprone as your maths teacher? Wow.

EDIT: Sorry: that should read "Disasterprone! As your! Maths! Teacher!"
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 11:13, Reply)

I! Miss! Disasterprone!.......(erm).........YEAH!...

especially with a QotW being 'nightclubs' I shudder to think what posts he would come up with.

EDIT: *reads above replies*

@Enzyme...anybody that uses 'Ahoy'... esecially 'Pedantry Ahoy!' is instantly elevated to the status of demi-god.

You have no say in this.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Jon Snow
would be a good general studies teacher. The rest of that More4 quiz team can go to fuck though.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Mark Kermode
*snigger*

His surname sounds like a disabled toilet...

_{Plus he has a habit of talking shit}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 11:39, Reply)

I'll wager a shiny new guinea
that Commode manages to mention The Exorcist in Sunday School every fucking week.....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Vince Cable
for economics/business studies

Boris Johnson for Latin.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 13:49, Reply)

hmmmm
Ian MacKellen - Drama
Parky - Humanities - prep through to 6th form
Katherine Heigle - 6th form biology *drools*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:08, Reply)

John Sessions
For whatever they could have got him to teach!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 15:20, Reply)