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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Rome sweet Rome
I'm on a ryhme spreeeee

I have my three month review now so when I get back there better be some people here being funny.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:06, 232 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
*attacks Badger*
That image is killing my eyes and making it hard to browse OT. Naughty badger!

:edit: That's better. *stops attacking*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:07, Reply)
Silly V.
*laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:08, Reply)
Yo!
I watched Pineapple Express last night, and it was rather good.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:11, Reply)
Badger baiting are we V?
Isn't that illegal? Still, morning all. Any tips on staying awake?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:13, Reply)
I'm going to see AC/DC tonight.
Fuckin' awesome!

Oh, and I've got chickens hatching out, as we speak. They're really cute :D

EDIT: Tip on staying awake... Pull out a fingernail with pliers.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:16, Reply)
Go chickens go!
The ducks will be cooler though. Duck kick ass.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:16, Reply)
Chicks are cute
Chickens are almost cute, but I can't help but think of them as a walking meal.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:18, Reply)
Kaol what the fuck?
Why have you pulled a fingernail out?!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:18, Reply)
Hello my lovelies!
/huggles everybody

How are you all?
Kaol - I love chickens! Send them my way. I could do with fluffy right now...
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:18, Reply)
Yeah, this is
Assuming the ducks do hatch.
So far I've got one chick fully hatched, and it's some cross-breed. Kinda cute, bit ugly, but tiny and fluffy. And black as the night.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:19, Reply)
My brother went to see 'DC
the night before last - the verdict is utterly, utterly brilliant, but that Angus is looking pretty old.

Seeing as he is, this didn't suprise me.

I only got tickets for the Wembley Stadium added date in June so I have to wait.

This is proving very difficult...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:20, Reply)
Kaol
That sounds bloody painful. Good for waking up though.

And I have a tendency to view the world as my larder. If it's cute and fluffy, I eat it.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:20, Reply)
Heya VC
The ducks better hatch else I'll be angry. Swans are awesome but I don't think I'd want one as a pet. Too much effort.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:20, Reply)
Swans are scary
they come up to my hips!
And they hiss.

:( I don't like swans.
Duckies are cute though!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:21, Reply)
Plenty of meat on a swan.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:22, Reply)
Swans are evil.
And don't appreciate you trying to give them a drunken hug.

If anyone tries to eat my chickens, they'll fuckin' know about it.

Well, I mean I'll be eating them, just not yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:22, Reply)
aha
a little bit of garlic and rosemary to taste, stuffed with rosemary, sage and a tiny bit of onion.....
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:25, Reply)
Heh
Never tried swan. Duck is bloody gorgeous though. Venison is to die for, although I found pigeon a bit bland. Rabbit I find is best used to for torturing vegetarians at barbeques.

I'd love to try squirrel though.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:27, Reply)
I wonder if there's a connection
between the cuteness of an animal and how good it tastes
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:27, Reply)
I warned you VC...
You eat my chickens, I kill you with hammers and burn the evidence.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:27, Reply)
I hope there is Mel
So that I can kill Kaol while he's pulling his "sad" face. That face would make him very yummy.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:29, Reply)
we have duck at work
and it's bloody beautiful with a nice acidic red wine (also goes well with chablis I've found). The acid just cuts right through the fat of the duck and makes it taste sharper somehow. hmmmmm

Duck is the one meat I will actually willingly eat.

EDIT: Kaol - I wouldn't eat them. you're too far away!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:29, Reply)
Mell
By that quotient, kittens should taste bloody awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:29, Reply)
Poor baby animals
being too delicious...

V- I didn't think the sad face was cute, I thought it was funny
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:30, Reply)
woop woop!
Tea time! Back soon!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:32, Reply)
Damn my inability
To express my feelings properly :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:34, Reply)
You can express rage properly
now that you've got your sword
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:37, Reply)
Yes!
I love my sword.
I can't wait to get it back on Tuesday.
V, are you looking after it properly?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:39, Reply)
Just as wookiee requested
I've been rubbing my cock all over it. There might be some dried up spunk on it too.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:41, Reply)
That doesn't make me particularly happy.
I'd prefer you didn't do that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:42, Reply)
Well I can't easily undo it now
I can rub my cock over it in the other direction to undo that but I'm not sure I can unspunk my spunk.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:44, Reply)
He'd prefer you didn't do that to his sword
but would do it to him instead ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:44, Reply)
Damn you Mel!
*sad face*

You're gonna pay for that!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:45, Reply)
Only after I'm done with you Kaol
*evil grin*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:45, Reply)
Kaol got his sword then?
Which one did you get in the end?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:46, Reply)
Hahaha!
What're you gonna do about it? :P
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:46, Reply)
Morning All
I've only just got up.
Hurrah for school holidays. It's like being on the dole but with money.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:48, Reply)
Mr. Piston,
I got this one:
www.historicsupplies.co.uk/swords/twohanded.gif

Mel, I've not decided yet... I think it'll involve locking you in the brig though.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:48, Reply)
yo bitches
Well I still have a job so woo! And I get a pay rise as I am no longer on my probation woo woo!

And yeah sorry about the maaaahhhhhaaassssiiiivve image it was smaller on the website but was obvioulsy an evil magic size shifting picture.

*dances around*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:54, Reply)
Kaol
That is a mighty nice sword. Although I suspect that you might well be getting V's pork sword quite soon.

/Edit

Congrats Badger!
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:55, Reply)
Woo!
More money is always a good thing
*high fives*
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:00, Reply)
Back!
Congrats badgerface! /huggles
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:06, Reply)
chars
it's not massive amounts of moolay but every little helps!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:13, Reply)
god I know about every little bit
*sniggers*

I felt so silly putting 40 bucks into my bank account yesterday and then thought "Nah - it's still 40 bucks extra in there innit?" so in it went.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:16, Reply)
Savings?
Wassat then?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:21, Reply)
it's this fing
innit - where you put all your money innit? And then it just kinda grows, like a tree, donnit?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:23, Reply)
40 AUD
Thu's about 20 quid in real money. That would have been a big deal when I was 17.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:25, Reply)
I want
a money tree!
*goes to find money seeds*
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:25, Reply)
40 dollars is real money here
and it's about... 17-18 quid.it's 2.25 AUD to 1GBP.

But yeah - it's a fair amount for here. nothing compared to what I earn though - it was just tips from Easter weekend.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:28, Reply)
*dances around*
I never have any money and I have just remembered I owe Wookiee money. *hides*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:31, Reply)
Don't announce that in public
You silly goose!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:31, Reply)
I'm not a goose
I'm a badger you Vguin!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:34, Reply)
Oh shit it.
I owe him money too :\
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:34, Reply)
I don't think I owe any b3tans money
The Student Loans Company on the other hand is a different matter entirely.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:36, Reply)
Well you're closer
Kaol so he'll kill you before he gets to me :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:36, Reply)
so do I
better pay up when I see him on Monday...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:36, Reply)
Hmmm...
Clendrix is closest.
She'll be first, as a warning to us.

Although I know where you live, TGB, so I'll show him in return for my life.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:38, Reply)
Mr Pickle
owes me either money or CD's. I'm not fussed which.

Either that or a pint or three.
Like I said - not fussed.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:38, Reply)
*does not owe wookiee money*
*wins*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:39, Reply)
You're all terrible people! Owing money is aweful
*whispers* piston, did I remember to pay you back?
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:39, Reply)
Yes you did Mell
Pretty much straightaway actually. And got me a pint. Didn't get me that bara brith though :P
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:41, Reply)
Melly, love, poppet, darling
Unless you're full of Awe in which case the term would be "You're all full of awe"... I don't think the word "Awful" is spelled "Aweful".

But that's just my thoughts. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:42, Reply)
Hmmm...
I seem to remember that I also owe Clendrix and Mel money...

*fakes own death*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:42, Reply)
If you're feeling guilty about Wookiee
comfort yourself with this thought: he is almost certainly still asleep in bed at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:43, Reply)
I'll help you with that on Tuesday
*brandishes sword*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:43, Reply)
Gotta love the sleep in...
You know what really grinds my goat?aside from Al People starting CHAINSAWS outside your bedroom window at 7 flipping AM! FFS!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:44, Reply)
Crikey
It's the Royal Bank of Wookie!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:44, Reply)
Hmm
Piston: I told you I couldn't find any stupid bara brith! *grumbles*

VC: I AM full of awe. I find it amazing how people can owe money... and I'm not trying to cover for my spelling mistakes at all...

Kaol: You don't have to pay me back, I'll just steal your sword when you're not looking
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:46, Reply)
*giggles*
Mell which sword are you talking about?
I admire you for being full of Awe. At the moment I am still full of Awe that I need fingerprints for a friggen visa /grumble grumble.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:51, Reply)
Mel gets a spelling pass
for being awesome and as such she is allowed to spell it aweful.

I hope the bank of Wookiee has low interest rates...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:52, Reply)
*Smiles*
Mell, I know. I just enjoy winding people up.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:54, Reply)
Chicken-news
They're now on my desk, as I didn't want them staying at home on their own.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:56, Reply)
The Bank of Wookiee is kind
but I'll buy him extra beer on Monday, just to be sure :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:56, Reply)
argh!
VC I had to read what you said twice to figure out why you were giggling, you naughty girl :P
Why do you need fingerprints taken for it?

Thanks TGB, it means a lot that I can spell incorrectly around you
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:57, Reply)
ahaha Sorry mell
my mind is filthy. I cannae help it I just seem to get every double meaning there is.

They want my fingerprints to "prevent identity fraud". I'm actually tempted to get a 10 year visa - fork out the extra cash and get my passport redone. Then at least it'll be worth it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:04, Reply)
I suppose it's useful
to not have your identity stolen.
How much more would it cost for a 10 year thing?
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:12, Reply)
Mel
I am going to have to damn you a little though because now I have Snap in my head

I've got the power! *ner ner ner noonoonoono*
wooooah oooooh oaoaoaoaoaooaoaoaoa
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:13, Reply)
Morning (just) all
How's everybody coping with being back home?

Me I'm having a shit time.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:15, Reply)
Don't damn me :(
I was watching He-Man yesterday, that's where it came from. So instead of singing, you should be going around in a loin cloth destroying skeletons.
(I helped save b3ta! Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:15, Reply)
Blimey...
Snakes on a plane!
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:15, Reply)
to get a 10 year
multiple entry working visa costs $1125 AUD.
To get my passport redone costs nearly $300
My ticket will cost around $1100-$1300.

But I can afford it! That's all that counts. :D

EDIT: Dok! /huggles
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:16, Reply)
I wish I still lived at home
I'd be rolling in money. The real world sucks somewhat.

And I'll damn whomever I like!

Aww what'sup Dok? *sniggers*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:18, Reply)
Hi Vampy
*hug*

EDIT My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s yesterday. It's kind of a lot to take in.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:19, Reply)
So...
Anyone that's interested:
www.b3tards.com/u/33b5702509926c2beff6/captain-wilkins.jpg
Chicken!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:20, Reply)
It's "talking"
To the other ones, and they're tweeping back to it :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:22, Reply)
Hi Miss crenne
Yeah got home fine, the ghost tour was great, I would really recommend it for the next time people are up that way.

Kaol, I WANT ONE, and not to eat!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:22, Reply)
Dok that sucks
*hugs* How is she at the moment? I knw it effects a lot of people in a lot of different ways
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:23, Reply)
Yeah,
I was checking the eggs, and one of 'em twitched and chirped, t'was awesome.
Then I realised the hatched one wasn't tweeting all the time, most of it was coming from inside the eggs.

EDIT: That's really crap Dok, sorry to hear it :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:26, Reply)
aww christ dok
that's shite. /hugs again.
You coping okay??
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:27, Reply)
*hugs Dok*

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:28, Reply)
Thanks guys
She's fine at the moment, mainly because she's forgotten it.

Well that's the third trouble to hit me recently, I should be in for a run of good things now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:28, Reply)
I'll stop you
from having to wear the hat then :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:37, Reply)
What?
Badger are you being nice? Are you feeling OK?

Right let's not talk of crap things, only fun things, like Kaols new arrivals and fluffeh kittums.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:38, Reply)
fluffeh kittens are cool
My cat's very fluffeh - I must take a photo when I remember!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:44, Reply)
I've got chicken number two
Breaking out as we speak.

Looks like it's another black one.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:45, Reply)
mmmmm
chicken

I'm hungry now. And it's thursday which is italian BMT today....
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:47, Reply)
Gives Dok a huge back-slapping man hug
That's really shite mate. Gaz me if you need a shoulder/ear/cyberhug x
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:47, Reply)
Kaol...
Why do you have electrodes up the ass of chick #1?
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:49, Reply)
Tourette's
I read the ear as rear, and then remembered the pub on Monday.

I almost spat my coffee out with laughter.

Thanks.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:49, Reply)
Hahahaha!
I hadn't noticed that!
It's the incubator-cable :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:51, Reply)
oh fuck off Bert
I was so happy you were being a twat elsewhere today
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:51, Reply)
You're welcome Dok
I wouldn't offer my rear to anyone!

Well, maybe one or two...*evil cackle*
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:51, Reply)
Cheers Bert
Trust you to thing up stuff like that.

Kaol, and why does it need to be reminded to log off?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:52, Reply)
TGB
Top news about the job!

*is proud of daughter*
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:53, Reply)
I was just happier
when you had a nice bile ridden thread out there and I was all nice and flufy in here.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:55, Reply)
Thanks mum :)
surviving your fart made me realise I can survive anything :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:55, Reply)
hmmmm
Bert. You're a git - thanks - you made me laugh over something completely inappropriate. :P

Wish I had b3ta parents. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:56, Reply)
Bert
You made me laugh as well, which is just what I need right now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:58, Reply)
Now you're just going to go
a million miles in the other direction aren't you?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:59, Reply)
Dok
I can sympathise - my mum was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimers. That sort progresses very quickly - she passed only 3 years later.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:59, Reply)
I want to confuse
you so much your head explodes then I can dance on the remains
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:01, Reply)
You do love me.
I want to bring my boyish good looks over there and give you a good sorting out, you sexy thing you.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:02, Reply)
'Noon all
Dok, cack news about your mum.

TGB, as your adoptive father, I am also very proud of you.

Kaol, please remove the electrodes from the chicks arse; it's not big enough to be fried yet.

The rest of you - *waves*. I shan't be around long. Something to do with a big party later today.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:03, Reply)
TGB
that doesn't sound very fluffeh.

But it does sound amusing. *giggles*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:03, Reply)
D's G
May I ask for your adoptive daughter's hand in marriage?

I'll knock her up first, if you prefer?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:04, Reply)
Have you not
been enough of a cheating cunt already Bert?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:05, Reply)
Bert
I'm a liberal kind of adoptive father. You don't need to ask me for anything. She's old enough to make her own decisions.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:05, Reply)
as much as I would like to agree with the women
I somehow can't.

I'm staying well out of this.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:09, Reply)
DG
Hope the party goes well.

It is cack, but it helps knowing that you lot are here to chat to if/when things get me down.

Chains, that's shite, christ the hole range of dementia is just totally crappy!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:09, Reply)
Dok, that sucks about your Mum
But in other news, I'm wondering if I feel privileged to have avoided one of Tourette's death-farts.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:10, Reply)
I'm sorry Bert
that was quite harsh. *proffers internet cake*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:11, Reply)
*throws down cake*
S'alright, no harsher than I was at that naughty minx in the other thread.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:14, Reply)
S'been three minutes
I'm not going to let this thread die.

*trims nipple hair*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:17, Reply)
*cheats on girlfriend*
*stabs a Collie*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:18, Reply)
*touches self*
*dances*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:18, Reply)
Bert
Stop that, that's silly!

And more than a bit suspect.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:19, Reply)
Bert!
what did I tell you?
NO TOUCHING YOURSELF ON THE INTERNET!

You gotta do it in public man!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:20, Reply)
I do touch myself in public
that's why they don't let me on the 465 bus anymore :C
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:22, Reply)
that's why
you go on the 468 and the 9:27pm train. Then they're none the wiser!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:25, Reply)
I am sooooo hungry
*eats cake off the floor*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:27, Reply)
Unnnnnnhhhhh!!!
There is no 468, you gooseberry!

I do all of my flashing down at the local Primary School now, and on the page 7 hunks in the Daily Star.

*pushes TGB away*

My floor cake!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:27, Reply)
bert
they don't know that!

Can has cake and pictures now? please? /sad eyes

*preemptively dodges a spanging*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:29, Reply)
Bert
There is a 468, it runs from Elephant and Castle to Croydon!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:31, Reply)
It's my floor cake
I have some revels in my drawer but I am trying not to eat them until later
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:31, Reply)
Om nom nom nom
*Eats floor cake from Badgers drawers*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:32, Reply)
I'm sorry, VC
I can only scan them when the office is empty, and that means waiting until about 5 tonight (probably about 12 o'clock next Tuesday to you).

Dok, I meant around here, I don't live in that London place, it's full of fakers with stupid hair and ridiculous clothes and Edith Bowman. God I hate her face.

TGB You can have some floor cake if you give me a minstrel revel thing.

EDIT @Dok Pffft!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:35, Reply)
dok you're so rude
And Bert you don't get anything
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:37, Reply)
*extends crotch*
*wiggles eyebrows*

*wiggles lower eyebrows*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:43, Reply)
oh god
that was truly a mental image.

Not one for the wank bank though. sorry bert.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:46, Reply)
Me rude?
Well sometimes.

But you love it really!

Bert, you just wish you lived in London.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:48, Reply)
*blethers*
it's too quiet! Talk people! make silly noises!
or.. somethings!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:06, Reply)
I think
That everybody has gone to lunch.

Pah, what is it with people wanting to eat in the middle of the day?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:12, Reply)
*sings to myself*
once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong....
Under the shade of a coolibah tree....
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled..

"you'll come a fucking waltzing matilda with me..."

EDIT: Dok - I have no idea.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:14, Reply)
It's all that
Patriotic singing. Is that not your national anthem? If not it should be!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:21, Reply)
ahaha
it was actually considered as our national anthem, but was figured to reflect too truthfully on our history as a giant prison. It's all about a squatter who steals and eats a sheep then the rozzers come try to grab him so he offs himself by jumping in the billabong.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:31, Reply)
I think that national anthems
should reflect the past of the country.

It would make them much more fun to listen to.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:38, Reply)
haaaaaaahaha
yeah well I don't know how the national anthem of the country of my heritage goes ... sounds like a lotta throat clearing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:44, Reply)
Om nom nom
Subway make a nice sandwich.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:48, Reply)
have
YOU heard the Dutch one? Christ it's terrible - sounds like someone's dying!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:51, Reply)
Two chicks!
Woo!

A yellow one now :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:51, Reply)
awww
don't get my Aww reflex and my innuendo reflex going kaol - it doesn't work well together!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:53, Reply)
Well My countries one
Is all about the Scots kicking the English's arses at the battle of Bannockburn.

Nice really.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:54, Reply)
* lands *

(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:54, Reply)
I had subway too :D
And can I name a chick Kaol?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:55, Reply)
Subway Sammich
is indead lully.

A yellow one Kaol, now all you need is a yellow and black one, you can call it Wolverine!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:58, Reply)
Hi spakkahead
oh oh! Kaol! can I name one too? Please???
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:58, Reply)
No
only the first person who bothers to ask can name one. You have all had around 5 hours and haven't asked so you all suck. HAHAHAHHA!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:00, Reply)
Nah,
I've already named 'em :p

Captain Wilkins and Jim The Magnificent.
Not sure on the next one.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:00, Reply)
I had all the salad except sweetcorn
As I left the shop I remembered I have a dental appointment at 3. Should really have skipped the onion and jalapenos.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:01, Reply)
Light
I went to the dentists yesterday - I knew he'd be giving me bad news so I had a very nice pesto foccacia thingo for lunch.

I dislike dentists. A lot. Especially when they tell me they want to take out all four of my impacted wisdom teeth. GARGH.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:04, Reply)
Can I call mine
Maurice the Clucker
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:04, Reply)
Name the next one
Chick Norris.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:10, Reply)
I'm finally heading back Darn Sarf
Have spent the past 6 days with b3tans in some form or another. Was an amazing trip! Was originally going to see Piston Broke tomorrow but he pulled out of his own microbash. Am on my iPhone so can't write much now, but will post photos later.

Caught a stomach bug while I was visiting blaireau69 that caused me to be out of it for much of Tuesday. Still had not fully recovered by the time I saw warmfuzzyfeeling on Wednesday. One theory I had was that because fuzzy's a pharmacist, b69 was using my diseased corpse as a means of passing on a coded message.

Hope you all had fun at the bashes and hugs if you missed them.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:16, Reply)
Spak's sig is causing me great distress.
I feel ill.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:19, Reply)
I've been planning my upcoming bash attendances
Now I need to suck off up to some people for crash space.

I also need to check my supplies of pens...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:22, Reply)
I know what you should call your chicks, Kaol
Lunch.

Also 'something about being the only chicks he'll ever get his hands on'.

/wins
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:34, Reply)
Right you bunch of heathens
Wosgoinon?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:37, Reply)
@clendrix
Well go see warmfuzzyfeeling then. This other b3tan is obviously trying to send her a coded message.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Psst! D's G, your adoptive daughter's well fit, put a good word in for me, will ya?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:38, Reply)
your mum
that is all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:38, Reply)
Mr Monkeysex
I told you before, she's old enough to make her own decisions!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:39, Reply)
DG
Just chillin'.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:39, Reply)
Word up dad
You come to hang out with us kids? :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:40, Reply)
Yeah, I know
but I'm just trying to get you to use your influence over her.

Tell her I like cats or something, I dunno.

EDIT TGB's here!

*blushes*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:40, Reply)
ahaha kids
/giggles
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:40, Reply)
For a bit
then I must go and make merry with YOUR MUM!

ahahahahahahahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Tourette's is my Mum?
I'm confused by this whole family HSH thread thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:41, Reply)
No you silly monkey person
Badger is Tourette's and mines adoptive daughter. We adopted her and Lab over the weekend.

And Wookiee's the slightly strange cousin that no-one talks about.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:43, Reply)
Thanks for that DG
:(

And I hate cats

edit: The sad face was for the your mum comment not the adoption! and hahah wookiee is so the strange cousin!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:43, Reply)
That's nice, I wish I had a B3tan Mum and Dad.
I hate cats too.

Want to come kitten kicking with me some time?

EDIT I guess, in a way, that CHCB and Enzyme are my B3ta-parents.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:44, Reply)
BERT!
/cries.

I'm not a fully grown cat yet - you going to kick me too?

EDIT: I don't have any b3ta parents :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:46, Reply)
these aren't just
any b3tan parents, these are the finest northern shells of parents. Filled with highly nauseous gases...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:48, Reply)
Northern parents are the best kind
they'll beat you and lock you in a shed and feed you whippet toasties.

EDIT Just notcied you'd replied there, VC. I would never kick you, after our little chat last week I've come to the conclusion that you're a little bit ace. Besides, you'd probably just bite my ankles and seduce my sister.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:50, Reply)
TGB
I feel like an advert for M & S now ;o)

*blushes*

*scuffs feet shyly*
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:55, Reply)
haha
We'd have to rename it M&MS (Marks and motherfucking Spencers) though
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:57, Reply)
*is well chuffed and shy*
why thank you mister bert. Be my b3ta brother?

EDIT: Ankles are tasty. Nom nom...
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:57, Reply)
No thanks
I get in enough trouble for trying to sleep with the sisters I've already got.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:03, Reply)
but bert
you'd only be my b3ta brother. You wouldn't be a flesh-and-blood-fight-like-cats-and-dogs (well monkeys) brother.

Am terribly hurt now. No cake. No pictures. No b3ta brother.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:04, Reply)
Your pictures will be up later!
One is just rubbish, but the other is all cute and lovely and everything, it's going to make all the b3ta ladies go 'awww!' and fall in love with me all over again.

It's not like it matters anyway, you're gay, I've got no chance, unless I cut off me cock.

...

*fetches the scissors*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:06, Reply)
I Has Cake
It's cheesecake from the cakey shop next door.

Om nom nom nom nom
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:06, Reply)
I don't like cheesecake
it's like somebody threw up fruit onto a yoghurt.

Nasty.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:07, Reply)
Not this one Bert
It's mega lully.

And now finished!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:10, Reply)
Cheesecake!
NOM!

My mum makes the best ever chocolate cheesecake/tart type.... thing.

/drools.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:12, Reply)
Bleeurgh.
I find cheesecake and yoghurt have an unpleasant bitter after taste, which I don't like at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:14, Reply)
are you sure
that it was cheesecake or yoghurt?

I love them both. Never had any bitter "aftertastes".
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:18, Reply)
Now
If it were man yoghurt......
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:18, Reply)
I've only ever tasted my own man yoghurt
and it was fairly taste-free, if a little gritty.

I have more powerful, superhuman tastebuds, so I can detect things which you normal people just can't.
For instance, today I know that VC is wearing blue pants.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:20, Reply)
There's a lot of Off-Topic threads today
Everybody feeling chatty?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:20, Reply)
*glares at "miserie"*
I love cheesecake, second only to boo cake
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:21, Reply)
actually Bert
they're black.

I was wearing the blue pants yesterday. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:22, Reply)
Light
It's growing in popularity, most likely due to my absence.

TGB, do you mean me? I'm not a misery! I'm full of fluff and love today, but I still don't like cheesecake.

EDIT VC that's probably why I can still taste them then.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:23, Reply)
Badger
Boo cake?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:25, Reply)
Not everything
is about you Bert. Shocking I know
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:25, Reply)
why
are you tasting my pants in the first place by the way bert?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:27, Reply)
Boo cake?
Dear Christ.... ;o)
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:28, Reply)
Ooooh
you're being right nasty to me today, TGB. I'll remember this.

I was just using that as an example of my abilities as a supertaster, VC.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:30, Reply)
Badger
I've just got that, I'm a bit slow today.

I'll get you for it, trust me, one day I'll get you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:30, Reply)
So,
Got three hatched now:

www.b3tards.com/u/33b5702509926c2beff6/chicks.jpg

www.b3tards.com/u/33b5702509926c2beff6/yellow-chick.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:32, Reply)
Oh. Okay then bert
Dok - now now - play nicely.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:33, Reply)
Kaol
The second black one looks a bit weedy, you should give it a suitable name.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:34, Reply)
Did anyone watch a tv show
called the mole ages ago? I just remembered how awesome it was
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:35, Reply)
No Badger
That's just your mind playing trick on you. It was crap!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:36, Reply)
it was awesome!
you suck Dok don't make me come over there and make you start leaking again
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:37, Reply)
Bert I didn't say that!
I dare you Badger, come over here and make me leak!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:39, Reply)
A bit weedy?
It's still slimy, it'll fluff up.

Just got another black one hatching too, gonna have loads of the bloody things!

I reckon the rest'll hatch when I'm at AC/DC tonight.

Then about a month and they'll be ready for eating :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:40, Reply)
@TGB
There. Is that better?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:42, Reply)
I
am going to go to bed. it's 12:46 am here.
*tireds*

Love you all lotses.

/huggles everybody
/falls asleep on couch between dok and bert.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:47, Reply)
Night Vampy.
Don't eat them Kaol, they're all cute and feathery.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:49, Reply)
Debatable there Porky :p
Dok I'm going to get DG to bork you up again at DiT's stag doooooooo
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:49, Reply)
Dok, they're not pets!
Gonna eat any male ones once they're big enough, and keep any females for egg-laying :)
Although I might make the males into capons:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capon
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:52, Reply)
Dok
sorry to be late with the *hugs* re your news earlier.

Soon, we shall have lunch together - that'll be nice for you.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:54, Reply)
Then Badger
I shall be well and truly borken.

I knew that Kaol, but a month is a bit short a time really.

EDIT Drixy, no problem, I thought you were really busy or just hadn't seen it.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:55, Reply)
Dok, depends,
A male chicken develops a lot of muscular stringyness quickly, so they're better the younger you eat 'em.

Anyhow, I'm off to AC/DC now :D
Catch you folks tomorrow!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 15:57, Reply)
Dok
Marlborough for lunch one day soon?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 16:01, Reply)
Drixy
I feel that a plan is forming on that.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 16:02, Reply)
Thread killllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 16:54, Reply)

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