Gnome sweet gnome


Before TGB beats me to it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 7:35, 117 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Which one are you?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 7:52, Reply)

The one not doing any work
Gnigga be chillin'.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 7:54, Reply)

I'll be the one with the watering can
and the self-satisfied grin.

For my thyme seeds have sprouted!

*does the little dance*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 7:56, Reply)

So you'll have plenty of thyme on your hands then
Now with added daughter? Did I miss a memo? I read that you were going to propose she move in with you, but haven't seen any subsequent news.

(and now I'm off to work so no rush)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 8:07, Reply)

I'll be the one
with the shovel. Just cos.

Now I'm off to work too! Bye poppets!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 8:14, Reply)

Well yes
We went to social services yesterday, she had her interview with her bro and sis, and I had mine, and she's been placed with me while they undertake a full investigation into the welfare of the kids.

So I'm +1 for the time being.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 8:22, Reply)

Woo!
Fingers crossed on that one then.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 8:43, Reply)

Mornings all
Nice one No3l. Fingers crossed for you.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 8:50, Reply)

Thanks folks
It's all a bit scary and up in the air... not knowing is pretty difficult, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 8:52, Reply)

Bit quiet this morning
My teeth still ache from yesterday's scraping. "Have a weally good wince" she said afterwards. I WAS WINCING ALL THE WAY THROUGH.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Yeah, it is, isn't it?

( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:33, Reply)

I'm here now
had to do some work this morning. Feckers
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Us?
Or the people making you do work?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:46, Reply)

all of you really
:p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Oh play nice Badger
Morning everybody.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Fat Friday Nings
Kaol and Al and I saw AC/DC last night. Despite the venue (O2) it was SOOFUCKINGPERB!
( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Fuck you TGB.
I've been nothing but nice to you.
*bitches and moans*

EDIT: AC/DC were AWESOME. So damn good :D
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Morning All
Now, both me and Mr Bin have had the last two weeks off.
As such we now go to sleep at about 1:00 and wake up at 9:00.
Most people I know find that after a certain amount of time off work / being on the dole, their body clocks slip to a similar time.

So why does the world need us all to get up early, no one likes it and it's clearly not natural.

That and I don't want to go back to work next week.

Bastards.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Yo Mrs L
Clendrix that sounds awesome :)

Kaol how many chicks you up to now?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Mrs. Bin,
If I have enough time off I revert to sleeping at about 6am and waking up at 4pm :p

EDIT: Chicks!
Got six! Two eggs left, dunno if they'll hatch or not.
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Yeah I revert to
going to bed about 4 and getting up at 1.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Not me.
When I was a student, I used to go to bed at 10pm and get up at 10am during the holidays.

Sleep FTW.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:04, Reply)

See, that's
Just odd :p
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Get a cat
Doesn't matter when you go to bed, you're getting up at 6:30.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:08, Reply)

I've never been much of a night owl
If I've got a night in, I'll be in bed by 10:30 these days. Read for a bit, fall asleep, then up at 7-ish.

That said, I'm quite used to having my sleep patterns disrupted and it doesn't bother me so long as I can catch up in a couple of days. And I can get over jet lag in a day.

Yes Kaol, I suppose I am odd!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Hmmm...
Where were you at the Edin-Bash?
There were three Scottish people there, all of whom were lurker-types!
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Sorry, couldn't make it
I'll gaz you.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Ok,
Fair enough!
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Morning all
AC/DC were all of the win last night. We went clubbing afterwards and I got back about 2 hours ago. Tired now.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Yes they were!
Was one of the most fun gigs I've been to :D
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:24, Reply)

well woo for you
*glares*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:36, Reply)

*jealouses*


At AC/DC. Damn. I got back into town yesterday, ran into a madman I know at my local, and went to a strip club. He was waiting on a client who never showed. Much drink and jet lag. Was worth it, though. But no Angus! Heard that it's a great show this time around.

Salutes all who are about to rock.
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Kaol
You forgot the Scotsman who came up from London.

How are you lot today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Pffft!
You're fake Scottish!

Not really, but in my mind you're a "london person".
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:54, Reply)

em, a bit hungover

Hi Dok! How's you?
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Good day!
*doffs hat*

Damn internet has only just started working again. Now I can waste time =D
( Captain V, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 10:56, Reply)

enjoying
These clever new board sigs. Too bad I'm not smart enough to be inventive at present.

And @ No3l: well done! Hang in there. Glad she's safe with you now, and I'm sure what you've done already means the world to her. *fingers crossed*
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Wow this place is jumping today
I think I'll go back to bed
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:11, Reply)

I'm being forced to work
I am outraged
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:14, Reply)

I had work to do
But now I've finished it and am keeping a low profile. Will you be forced to work all day?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Right, I am actually doing some work
I have just moved where all the little shites sit.

Now I have to think of their spellings for next week.


Go on guys, what can you come up with?
No swears........... they can spell them!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:22, Reply)

work?
@ Light: Helloes! Indeed, if you've finished your work, the day is done.

And, Ms. Bin, what age are your little urchins?
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Mrs L
teach them the difference between there/their/they're your/you're and to/too/two then I won't have to kill the entire next generation
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Right then, Mrs Bin
Get them to spell 'lose' (the verb). If any of them use a double o, then shoot them.

Some more favourites:

Definitely
Millennium
Necessary (and necessarily)

I'm sure I can think of more.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Year 5 Cackers, which is age 9 to 10
Some of them are far better than me at spelling and I give them words like illustration and accommodation.

Some of them are still on the first 100 words.
So words like house and apple.

*edit*

They had millennium and necessary last term.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Hi Cackers
Work got me for a bit there.

Mrs Bin, give them long words, so they get them all wrong and cry.

I have lived in London for thirty years now Kaol.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Antediluvian
Benthic
Vagile
Rugose
Squamous
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:47, Reply)

More spelling words
diarrhoea
haemorrhage
onomatopoeia
subpoena
rheumatology


That'll get them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:48, Reply)

how about
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:48, Reply)

I do threaten them with
diarrhoea!

My brightest child claims it's the only word he can't spell!

My lowest ability have:

after
all
also
before
could
cover
does
every


Last term I gave my highest ability:

Circulation
Respiration
Carbon Dioxide
Stomach
Oxygenated
Ventricle
Aorta
Skeleton
Inhalation
Medicine


Beacsue we were learning about the heart, lungs and that.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Daiquiri
Foreign
Liaison
Manoeuvre
Privilege

Those are all tricky ones.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Thanks LIC
My highest ability now have those!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:03, Reply)

how about
Fluorescent
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:06, Reply)

How about
Fellatio?
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:07, Reply)

It was only a matter of time wasn't it.
I think my highest lot can have cunnilingus
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Right
Spellings done.

I'm off to make a cup of tea now!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:14, Reply)

also
You can school them on the possesive and active:
Its vs It's

Cannot say how much the misuse of above annoys me. Might get an aneurysm one day!
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Cunnilingus?
We just got a gold star.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:16, Reply)

I'm going to have to
veto that star Chains
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:18, Reply)

diarrhoea
should be spelled dire-rear. It's easier to remember, pronounced the way it's spelled and describes the symptoms perfectly.

Speaking of which, I'm still not fully recovered.

Mornin'
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:19, Reply)

hey, Spak!
Sorry you were illin'

TGB: why the veto?

Light: prophylaxis. (Sorry, hope you've recovered from the dentist)
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Hiya Kak!
Am spending some time chillin' to fight the illin'.

BTW: Here's a brief explanation of how I got my bug.

@Mrs. Bin-Livin':
I'm glad you've thought of an interesting - if not unorthodox incentive to encourage your pupils to score highly.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Nuffin is Noo
Except that the o2 wasn't as hideous as I'd imagined it would be and AC/DC are still WIN.
( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:43, Reply)

hello, ancrenne!
Back in NYC and tore up the town last night. Now it's early and I'm chasing a hangover. Whoops.
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Heya ancrenne
Alas, my stomach-bug is neither new or likely to be old for some time. I've decided to skip this evening's minibash so I can recover properly :-(. How's yourself?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:45, Reply)

@cackers Just because I can really
*dances*

Yo ancrenne
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:46, Reply)

@ TGB
That's cool.
But I give it a *gold star* every time!
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:48, Reply)

hmm I would veto them all
but my brain has just pointed out what we're talking about

Shut up brain!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:51, Reply)

@ancrenne
My liver-function is back to normal. Alas, the same cannot be said about my bowel-function.

That was actually the first time I've been drunk 5 consecutive nights in ages. I seem to have done quite well (minus the stomach-bug).

Did many people stay on after Sunday night? What was that like?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:56, Reply)

My super-productive morning...
kaolblack.blogspot.com/

Woo, lunchtime.
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:58, Reply)

I hope you don't expect me
to look at your pathetic little website?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:59, Reply)

Nope.
But you can if you want :p
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:00, Reply)

All my lovelies!
nice easy slow short shift tonight!
Wooo.

Now I has chocolates. And a warm bed. YAY.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:13, Reply)

Spak
Monday was very relaxed (well, apart from when I was climbing up Arthur's Seat Andrew's Chair Bob's Sofa). Lots of lounging around, drinking, eating and chatting.
( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:17, Reply)

TGB
It's just a cheap knock-off of thelightinchains.blogspot.com which I forbid you to look at.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:25, Reply)

ok then
*doesn't look*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:31, Reply)

So what's everybody up to at the moment?
give me details - my life is dreary and uneventful. And painful.

Make me laugh dammit.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Somebody who was present
needs to quantify the Edinbash Tourette's Fart in Hobos (scroll down).

From second-hand reports I'm tentatively rating it as 26-27 Hobos.

EDIT: VC - the funniest thing I've posted so far today was the second post in this thread, in my opinion. Sad really.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Ok well as we
were outside and I was slightly upwind and I came very very very close to actual vomit, in a closed room I would say 54 hobos
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:44, Reply)

egad light!
are you ill?
/presses hand to your forehead.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Here some good news:
yesterday I discovered crisps that are cooked in 100% lard. Fucking A!

Obligatory bad news - they only sell them in the US, so I'm going to have to be nice to Cackers.
( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:46, Reply)

but cackers
is lovely - so how is that bad?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:48, Reply)

For some reason
I'm finding the idea of gnomes being the bad-ass homies of the fairytale world, but with a silent g on the front, very funny.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:51, Reply)

you're a dork light
but we luvs ya anyways.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Mr. Chains,
You worry me.
Lots.

In other news, anyone got any recommendations for drinking-places in Bristol?
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:55, Reply)

@ Clendrix
No affilitation, whatsoever. And no worries.
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Cackers is lovely
but she's also mental, aren't you Cackeroo?

No, the 'bad' bit was actually relating more to the fact that they're only sold in the US. They are fucking yum.
( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Chains, you dork
Joins you in ultimate nerdiness.
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Kaol
Pubs, you'll find a few of them in Bristol.

;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Hmmm...
Let me re-phrase.

"Rock clubs or dirty metal pubs" in Bristol?
( Cawl, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:08, Reply)

It's not laugh out loud funny
But "gnigga" makes me smile, and it's not getting old. It will remain gently amusing for years and years like a Ronnie Corbett monologue.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Sorry Kaol
I don't know any of those in Bristol.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:13, Reply)

google it
you lazy git
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:14, Reply)

the one thing that makes me smile
every single time...

"man the fuck up".
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Colonel Santiago lives in Bristol
You could ask him.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:23, Reply)

hey VC
/snuggles

How are you, poppet?
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:33, Reply)

@Chainey
Here's another silent-G to make you smile - gnipples. Or even better - knipples.

Oh dear, if I were in Mrs Liveinabin's class right now, I'd not get my cunnilingus.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:35, Reply)

@ Clendrix
Mental?

Definitely not normal. But more metal than mental; at least that's what the doctors say.
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:38, Reply)

What's that talking?
Silence in the class or I'll fetch the cane.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Presumably gnomes have gnipples
Adult gnomes anyway. I'm not a gnonce.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:41, Reply)

gnot
a gnovice.
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:45, Reply)

gno way
you guys are gnot serious, are you?

hi cackers! /huggles.
how're you lovely?
I am tired. And my guts hurt something awful. :( but other then that I am all good.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:52, Reply)

hahahah
what with all the gn's I read guts and gnuts and wondered why you had nuts

ahahahahahaha
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 14:59, Reply)

ahaha
TGB - I'll prove I don't have gnuts if you come over here /winks saucily.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:03, Reply)

I keep my gnuts
in a jar in the kitchen.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:07, Reply)

I had to go
do some work. Was there an offer of feeling up some gnuts?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Always Badger
Always.

I assume you know where they are.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:45, Reply)

We all know where they are
In a jar in the kitchen.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 16:02, Reply)

But Chains
Where are the special gnuts? The ones for company.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 16:08, Reply)

The salty ones?
Salty... And moist.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 16:34, Reply)

best gnuts
is *beefy*
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 19:34, Reply)

*yawns*
Evening all.

It was our wedding party last night. It fucking rocked - Irish/folk/punk band on first then a rock and blues combo after. Completely brilliant.

But now I'm utterly fucked. I need a holiday.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 20:02, Reply)

Woo Davros!
Sounds like a rollicking good time. Hoists a beer, and cheers you and Tourette's.

Yay, congratulates you!
( cackers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 20:11, Reply)

Cheers cackers!
It was a rollicking good do; even some of the oldies were up boogying the night away.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 20:23, Reply)