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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Today I'm going to spend the day with my parents and sister and visit Hampton Court Palace so have got up early for my day out. Hopefully, Hampton Court Maze should be fun.
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 8:33, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

if in doubt simply scream for help. like a girl. it always works, eventually. you never know, you might even get rescued by firefighters who can't do any firefighting cos they set fire to their fire engines yesterday and forgot to put them out.
and also this...VC is being very accommodating today, do you wish to pretend at being TD whilst Edmund takes photos of the 3 of us?
and Good morning Spakka!
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 8:38, Reply)

Both the maze and the substitution. OK. I'll be TD then...
* lubes self up *
EDIT: Just read the above post. Now I'm all sticky from lube and don't get to play.
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 8:41, Reply)

but the threesome is only ever me, blair and td. it'd feel odd having someone else sit in.
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:06, Reply)

I promise not to b0rk the camera with my gooey lube.
BTW. I've set off and am now waiting for my tube.
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:09, Reply)

only invite a 3rd party to the party if you have checked with the recipient 1st!
funny, cos i never would have guessed you were THAT fussy VC, after all you like TD and myself...surely a sign of low standards?
god, i'm feeling a bit abrasive today. not like carbarundum, just feel like i could have a reet good argument with someone. any takers?
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:13, Reply)

munter who needs his botty wiped by his mummy.
ball's in your court.
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:22, Reply)

are a skanky antipodean harlot who cannot even decide which side of the toast to butter.
and yes, i like having my arse wiped by my mummy. it helps to keep us "close".
now get a mouthfull of these...
balls in your mouth!
(see what i did there? did you?)
ps: where did Ed go?
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:30, Reply)

at least I *have* toast to dither over buttering!
You norn get!
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:33, Reply)

you slack-orificed southern trollop.
there is only 1 correct use for butter (apart from forming the cornerstone of a healthy scottish diet), as demonstrated by marlon brando in "last tango in paris".
my mum and i can show you when you come to visit...
if they let you into the country. i would imagine the authorities will stick you in solitary until they have thoroughly disinfected and sterilised you...
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:45, Reply)

what you just told me you and your mother would be showing me sounded very wrong indeed.
And my orifices are nay slack you forrin pasty wench!
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:47, Reply)

ahem, went too far then?
and what my mum and i get up to is not wrong, simply alternative. you foul, scrofulous wombat-fiddler.
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 9:53, Reply)

they're not wombats - they're echidnas. I like a little prickling on my thighs...
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 10:11, Reply)

LOL very bristly at the moment, must get the clippers out...
do you need a trim?
( , Sun 17 May 2009, 10:14, Reply)
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