Morning
Today I'm going to spend the day with my parents and sister and visit Hampton Court Palace so have got up early for my day out. Hopefully, Hampton Court Maze should be fun.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 17 May 2009, 8:33, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

remember the secret to finding your way in and out of the maze...
if in doubt simply scream for help. like a girl. it always works, eventually. you never know, you might even get rescued by firefighters who can't do any firefighting cos they set fire to their fire engines yesterday and forgot to put them out.

and also this...VC is being very accommodating today, do you wish to pretend at being TD whilst Edmund takes photos of the 3 of us?

and Good morning Spakka!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 8:38, Reply)

no I am not being very accomodating.
just polite and friendly.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 8:41, Reply)

Sounds like a good plan
Both the maze and the substitution. OK. I'll be TD then...

* lubes self up *

EDIT: Just read the above post. Now I'm all sticky from lube and don't get to play.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 17 May 2009, 8:41, Reply)

sorry spak.
but the threesome is only ever me, blair and td. it'd feel odd having someone else sit in.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:06, Reply)

Could I at least take some pics?
I promise not to b0rk the camera with my gooey lube.

BTW. I've set off and am now waiting for my tube.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 17 May 2009, 9:09, Reply)

hey spakka...
you and i can always have a 2some if you like?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:18, Reply)

it would appear i crossed a line...
only invite a 3rd party to the party if you have checked with the recipient 1st!

funny, cos i never would have guessed you were THAT fussy VC, after all you like TD and myself...surely a sign of low standards?

god, i'm feeling a bit abrasive today. not like carbarundum, just feel like i could have a reet good argument with someone. any takers?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:13, Reply)

you're a fucking
munter who needs his botty wiped by his mummy.

ball's in your court.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:22, Reply)

and you, my dear...
are a skanky antipodean harlot who cannot even decide which side of the toast to butter.

and yes, i like having my arse wiped by my mummy. it helps to keep us "close".

now get a mouthfull of these...



balls in your mouth!

(see what i did there? did you?)

ps: where did Ed go?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Ahhh but
at least I *have* toast to dither over buttering!

You norn get!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:33, Reply)

the toast is merely a diversion...
you slack-orificed southern trollop.
there is only 1 correct use for butter (apart from forming the cornerstone of a healthy scottish diet), as demonstrated by marlon brando in "last tango in paris".

my mum and i can show you when you come to visit...

if they let you into the country. i would imagine the authorities will stick you in solitary until they have thoroughly disinfected and sterilised you...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Having never seen "Last tango in Paris"
what you just told me you and your mother would be showing me sounded very wrong indeed.

And my orifices are nay slack you forrin pasty wench!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:47, Reply)

they will be by the time TD and i are finished...
ahem, went too far then?

and what my mum and i get up to is not wrong, simply alternative. you foul, scrofulous wombat-fiddler.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 9:53, Reply)

excuse me
they're not wombats - they're echidnas. I like a little prickling on my thighs...
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:11, Reply)

so that's why you don't like it when i shave?
LOL very bristly at the moment, must get the clippers out...
do you need a trim?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:14, Reply)

bugger off
I'm the only one who trims my lady garden.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:23, Reply)

lady garden?
i was referring to the soles of your feet...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 17 May 2009, 10:35, Reply)

oh
well you don't want to go there either.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 11:19, Reply)