I am
At best, an irregular patron of this fine service but I would be quite happy to challenge you to a frock coats at dawn fop duel.

Half Man Half Biscuit signatures don't intimidate me either....
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 May 2009, 18:44, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

What a great idea!
We could wave handkerchiefs at each other from 10 paces and question each other's upbringing in an intimidating yet gentlemanly fashion.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 May 2009, 18:48, Reply)

who would you appoint as your seconds, gentlemen?
^
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 20 May 2009, 18:51, Reply)

Yes
I'm not sure that any kind of weapons ought to be involved.

A mist-shrouded meadow near a lake would be the ideal venue, I'd suggest. Possibly with a handily adjacent string quartet adding a slightly sinister aural cast to the proceedings.

Obviously we'd both need trusted and faithful retainers to act as seconds, and at an agreed and understood signal each should gently deride the other in dulcet, mellow tones.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 May 2009, 18:57, Reply)

Spiffing idea.
I bagsy Devil-in-Tights as he's quite theatrical and I think he would be quite good at that sort of thing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 May 2009, 19:00, Reply)

I'm struggling for a second
But that's a minor detail.

I think we can both agree that the string quartet will be providing an interpretation of "Violator" throughout the proceedings.

As a Gentleman I would, of course, offer you a glass of Sainsbury's Merlot and a Rothmans prior to our commencement.

EDIT - I shall ask the equally irregular Blaireau69 to be my batman, because he needs a good day out.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 May 2009, 19:08, Reply)

Violator
Oh, absolutely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 May 2009, 23:15, Reply)

oooh, an interesting choice
you don't want someone with first aid skills and a getaway coach standing by then?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 20 May 2009, 19:17, Reply)

Dear Girl
Do you think that Byron, Shelley, Keats and all of their louche mates took a qualified First-Aider on their escapades?

Did Van Gogh struggle out to ring St John's Ambulance (using his only remaining ear by the handset) after his declamation of unrequited love?

Peiter Brueghel? When told to paint or die did he summon up "Antwerp Getaway Taxis" on his mobile?

No. None of the above. You don't back out of a challenge lighty.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 20 May 2009, 19:29, Reply)

^
ooooOOOOOH

that's me told then
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 20 May 2009, 20:09, Reply)

Londoners fight by using chique and vougue items like pokemon cards.
[Person 1] You wanna take this outside, mate?
[Person 2] C'mon 'en, 'ave it, faakin' mug, outside, righ' now.
*outside*
[Person 1] *Roles up sleve to reveal a custom signed Cartie watch*
[Person 2] *Takes out his gold plated 32GB iPhone* *
[Person 1] Yeah', you fakin' like that? Yeah'? Well, what about this? *Shows Louis Vaton wallet with signatured italian silk*
[Person 2] Listen, mate, sorry, my mistake, let me get you a drink.
[Person 1] Yeah', bitch, make that a Goldslagar and Guvia Daccery, and don't forget this.
[Person 2] All right mate, all right.
*back in the pub, Person 1 goes back to his date*
[Person 1] Sorry Luv', I just couldn't let that one go.

* I'm not sure if they've anounced that yet, but for the sake of this, let's say they don't exist.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 May 2009, 18:59, Reply)