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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My face really fucking hurts... Was at a wedding yesterday and on the way home my nose had an argument with a pavement.
I am now the poud owner of an extra nostril at the top of the bridge.
Anyone else managed to suitably disfiguire themselves over the weekend?
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 20:44, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I also nailed my elbow to the wall earlier.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 20:49, Reply)

That sounds impressive. How in the hell did you manage that??
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 20:49, Reply)

I am a complete joey at virtually everything that requires physical coordination. even at the age of 40, I catch 1 in 3 or 4 things that are thrown at me....
However, I can solder without burning my fingers.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:23, Reply)

Every bloody time I use it, I burn myself.
See below for the elbow thingy.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:23, Reply)

I did exactly the same. Totally face planted the ground. Managed to get carpet burn all down one side of my face! Went nicely with the mahoosive shiner.
I blame Aberdeen. It makes me do crazy drinking!
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 20:49, Reply)

How the shuddering fuck did you manage to do that?
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 20:50, Reply)

My left elbow is entirely covered with scar tissue from a bike accident a few years ago. I have no nerve endings there, so I can't feel a thing. My sisters boyfriend didn't believe me... so I nailed my elbow to the wall to demonstrate.
Yes, alcohol was involved.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 20:56, Reply)

obtained by not noticing where the mp3 player earphone wires were while I was asleep in the sun.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 20:58, Reply)

it's a pathetic attempt to boost her low self esteem! I'll tell her TO HER FACE 'cause I'm all brave and shit.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:01, Reply)

I'M USING CAPITALS AND BOLD TEXT TO INDICATE HOW UPSET I AM.
I'm now going to go and eat my own weight in pork pies.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:11, Reply)

because you're a fatty boom batty and not in a good way.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:23, Reply)

Write things on your skin with them?
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:00, Reply)

I think that's mentally scarring, I'm sure.
Apart from that, I've not disfigured myself, apart from a few things I've done which should have resulted in me breaking my nose via facepalmage.
Hope your nose feels better soon Mr Davros Snr Sir!
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:09, Reply)

It really is fucking tender at the moment though. Going to bed may be interesting as I have a tendency to lie face down...
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 22:08, Reply)

I'm not medically qualified by anyone other than the Army, but if you're still in pain after that much time perhaps you should try NHS direct or A&E?
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:11, Reply)

but I suspect it's merely bruised uinder the surface, hence the pain.
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 22:08, Reply)

Could you use it to give yourself another semi-tat? ;)
I've been in most of the glorious weekend working :(
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 21:12, Reply)

Hadn't cleaned out the hose for my water pack properly, and appear to have made myself a bit ill from it.
Internal disfigurement!
( , Sun 31 May 2009, 22:23, Reply)
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