There's a giant bee on my landing
And it keeps butting against the window that doesn't open.

I remember reading that flies will take an essentially random path and hence eventually find their way back to an open window, whereas bees are just that little bit smarter and will keep plugging away at a non-working option.

Any suggestions on how to persuade him to head for a different lightsource - i.e. the open bedroom window?

Without getting stung.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:18, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh fucking come on!
It's a BEE!
Glass. Paper. Sorted.
( Cawl, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:20, Reply)

You're right
It's been so long since I had to deal with such an emergency I'd quite forgotten the glass-and-paper method.

For now it is resting on the ceiling so it'll have to wait.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:23, Reply)

MTFU

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:26, Reply)

You're a bee

( Captain V, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:29, Reply)

yeah but you said it's a giant one
exactly how giant?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:34, Reply)

About as big as my thumb
well, nearly.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:47, Reply)

oh
far too small to eat then
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:50, Reply)

Too small to ride
as well. That would be a great way to get around mind.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:53, Reply)

it really would
and they'd make Top Bee as well.

Now I want to see James May riding a bee.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:54, Reply)

*adopts smug cunt persona*

*puts on slacks that are too tight*

*combs hair over bald spot*

This BEE is the dogs bollocks! Check out that acceleration! Nothing between you and the road except 24 inches of air and a load humming noise. Just the way it should be.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:57, Reply)

*adopts tiny, big-eyed smug cunt persona*
Except your bee was four seconds slower round our track, and mine's got space for all this pollen, look.

*smugs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:59, Reply)

Look at my bee dance
that's how you show a hive how to find the pollen.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:01, Reply)

Ooh, I know
Let's race our bees from London to Vienna

and mock each other a lot on the way.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:02, Reply)

Only if we do it wearing tiny, tiny shorts

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:04, Reply)

*considers*
hm. yes, all right then.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:09, Reply)

So......






pictures?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:11, Reply)

when we get to Vienna
and not before :D
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:12, Reply)

If I humm some Ultravox
will that be close enough?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:13, Reply)

Set up some flowers
A small box, soon you'll have your own beehive and free honey!
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:34, Reply)

Bees aren't that agressive
I reccomend the paper + glass method. My brother used to pick them up with his hand, but he was strange like that. They never stung him though.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:45, Reply)

I do this
Never been stung, though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:01, Reply)

Eric the half a bee
Whenever bees get mentioned at work one co-worker starts singing this song, originally by Monty Python.

He does that so often that now even I start thinking of it whenever somebody else mentions bees.

I've never even heard the chuffing original version.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:14, Reply)

Synchronicity
Having not heard Eric the Half a Bee for about...hmm... 15 years, suddenly he's Topic Of The Week. My step dad was doing the Eric the Half a Bee thing yesterday.

"I love this hive, employee-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me,"

And so on.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:36, Reply)

The bee is bee-gone
via the glass-paper method. I got the 4 foot wasp to do it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:04, Reply)

I keep a
fishing net (one of those kiddies ones that costs about 20p) handy for just such occasions as these.

Although they require a certain knack to use successfully. I was kept up all night by a persistant Red Admiral which had me jumping nekkid up and down on my bed, swishing as hard as I could, for hours. Giggling uncontrollably, eventually. It was surprisingly hard to catch. And when I did manage to swipe it into the net and get it to the open window, it would fly back into the room instead of outside where it belonged. Good times.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:43, Reply)