Today I love my bottom unequivocally
I have Ghandi's Revenge from a dodgy tuna steak last night; the first mouthful tasted odd, then the second one just felt wrong. Not firm and meaty, more "melt in the mouth", like a leper's cock. So I rang work at 8.40am to say I'd be a little late, I'd be in as soon as the Immodium kicked in. Now my boss is a flakey fuckwit at the best of times, but today that has worked to my advantage. Despite my stating I'm sure it's the tuna and not a bug, she insisted that I didn't go in, "in case I spread it around the other staff".

WOO-HOO!

Have fuckwits/your bottom ever worked in your favour?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:30, 24 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Today
my bottom is not working in my favour at all. It was the curry and beer last night.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Yesterday
I farted and it smelt really bad.

I thought of you.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

hee hee
Thanks sweetie! x
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I once used my bottom to plug a hole in the keel of a sinking ship.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

Keel or hull?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:34, Reply)

I already said.
God, al, learn to read.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:35, Reply)

plugging a hole in the keel wouldn't do much good
if the ship were sinking
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:37, Reply)

This was the point I was making

(Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Well excuse me for not being an advanced seaman.
Alright, HULL then. I once used my bottom to plug a hole in the hull of a sinking ship.

And then I was keelhauled, matey.

Pedants.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:42, Reply)

heh
seamen


why are camels called ships of the desert?

because they're full of arab se(a)men
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:43, Reply)

I know
Tightly didn't seem to grasp it, so I thought I'd help out
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Heh.
Grasp it. Sounds a bit, you know, rude. Still, we're on the internet, don't say FUCK.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:47, Reply)

I did a crap about a week ago that looked exactly like expensive latte.
It was the same temperature too.

I posted about it on the internet.
( WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I read that as
"I DUN A POOO"
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:34, Reply)

A poo
at Pauls?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:58, Reply)

It's a good job I'm single at the moment otherwise my paramour would have to wear a gas mask when in my vicinity.
.
( girlinthehole, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:41, Reply)

My bottom always works in my favour
It's a professional at expelling waste products and looks rather good in a pair of jeans.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:53, Reply)

It also
looks rather spiffing out of the jeans too ;)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Tuna is vile and disgusting and I will not condone it's usage in a cullonary sense.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Oi!
You're supposed to be ironing and sticking pages of Viz on the wall.

Not writing about your bottom on the internet.

And me tea had better be on the table when I get home as well.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:09, Reply)

yeah, i know
but i did a runny poo and rit about it on the internet innit coz thats all i can do if im not at werk lololololololol ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:35, Reply)

BAN THIS SICK FILTH!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:44, Reply)

ON THE INTERNET

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:45, Reply)