OMG, like whatever happened to OT being the fluffeh part of b3ta? You're all terrible bullies and should be ashamed.
Especially Al and Clendrix. Spiteful spiteful wronguns.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:26, 111 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm nice to everyone who's not shit,
sorry let me rephrase that
I'm not nice to anyone.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:27, Reply)

I feel dreadful myself
I can't believe I read that whole fucking thread. I was ready to top myself by the end.
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:28, Reply)

I think it's been deleted now,
which is probably for the best.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:29, Reply)

it has been.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:34, Reply)

For shame

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:36, Reply)

that was the best lurk i have had in ages

(Flid James carry on, mongs, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Hi lurker.

( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Don't bother it's probably a dude.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:46, Reply)

That's what we thought about you
look how wrong we were.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Everyone can tell how wrong you are.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:47, Reply)

I'll put this to the floor
Mr K, is Chompy a sexy lady?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:48, Reply)

No.
She's a lady that looks a lot like a man :(
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:54, Reply)

A very sexy man

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:05, Reply)

A kind of retarded half breed man.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Sure...
Although if glasses and smoking did it for me, I'd fuck myself.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Hey, it's 50/50.

( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:47, Reply)

That's how I feel.

(Flid James carry on, mongs, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Hello Lurker
Animal, mineral or cabbage?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:47, Reply)

All three, please!

(Flid James carry on, mongs, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Hi

(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:46, Reply)

Going out
in a blaze of glory by crashing your Honda Accord into a Burger King drive through?
(mr bollox I love Mr. K best of all the kaoltards, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:33, Reply)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Indeed...

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:31, Reply)

I'm still flying the flag for love,
Understanding and compassion.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Here, have a picture of a puppy.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Aww
Strangely, this is *exactly* how I picture you in real life, Gonz
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:34, Reply)

He looks more like the dress-and-sandals bit in the backgound.

( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:36, Reply)

That's pretty much how I do look, I'm a real sweetie pie.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Is it a helium filled puppy?
Looks like you're having to push it down to keep it on the ground!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Yeah', his barks were so cute.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:55, Reply)

I only come over here when there's naughtiness to be had.
/talk is my usual refuge from the fluff stuff and dull fucking kaoltards.
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Throws Clendrix at fluff til she sticks

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:33, Reply)

t
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Eww...it's all in the fluff now
that'll never wash out.

I'm not sure I want sicky fluff.

On an entirely unrelated note, I have just shaken an inordinate amount of crap out of my keyboard.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Heyyyyyy, I was nice about it
in a stern "tell him to get some professional help and/or get his family involved and then back away" kind of way.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:37, Reply)

You were fine dude ( + lots of other people were too)
I think Bex was referring to a certain noisy minority.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:43, Reply)

There was an awful lot of stuff going on off-thread.
It's always good to remember that none of us has all the facts to hand.
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:45, Reply)

And that the information given was very short coming

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:46, Reply)

EDIT
the place for things like that is with people you know, as in, actually know, meeting, sharing meaningful time, rather than just words on a screen, and with professional counsellors and not on a comedy website. Big cocks and dripping fannies and stuff.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:51, Reply)

That sounded awfully like serious words there Al
You feeling ok?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:56, Reply)

sorry I shall edit it to make it better

(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:58, Reply)

Phew, you had me worried then

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:01, Reply)

This is true, cheers Clendrix
I've cheered up now. Wasn't my fight to start with.
No hard feelings, Al?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Al
ALWAYS has "hard feelings".
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:04, Reply)

He told me
that was his wallet and it just had a LOT of loose change jangling around.

I feel soiled.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Nope,
That noise was the loops of barbed wire knocking together.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Ah
Oh dear.

Well they do say it's good to be paranoid in case they are actually following you, so I can only imagine you speak the truth.

Oh well, no great loss.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:21, Reply)

yeah, i'm a hero
but where's my parade?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:47, Reply)

There's a group of tramps wandering through the park outside.
I'll get them to chant your name.
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:48, Reply)

Are they looking for me again?

( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:55, Reply)

They wondered why you'd left them

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:57, Reply)

They've gotta learn to function without me there to rule them.

( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:06, Reply)

They're homeless, give them a break

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:08, Reply)

I tried that.
Got arrested for assault.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:14, Reply)

That would make me feel special
or spesh-hull
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:59, Reply)

I'm always nice.
I try to sicken people with my niceness.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:38, Reply)

You're just upset
because you missed all the fun.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:43, Reply)

Damn right
I fall asleep at the most inopportune moments :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Don't worry.
Al is used to hearing that.
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:46, Reply)

Don't I know it
Last weekend, I had just found the new Bravissimo catalogue when, *boof* out like a light until morning.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:48, Reply)

So true
He loves it though really
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:48, Reply)

It's the heartbreaking toll
of unemployment.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:47, Reply)

For shame

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:48, Reply)

Here anything back from those interviews?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:54, Reply)

Email yesterday to say they'd let me know in a few days as they're still interviewing people

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:01, Reply)

That's a good sign,
at least they haven't forgotten who you are.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:04, Reply)

They couldn't.
One place has though. They promised they'd call 2 weeks ago. Cunts
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:06, Reply)

I fucking hate that,
The job I've got now had 26 days between application and interview. So you never know.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:13, Reply)

What?
al's willy is unemployed?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:48, Reply)

Not recently.
*smugs*

*realises wanking isn't something to be proud of*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:49, Reply)

there's nowt wrong with a drop of *gentleman's cocoa*
'tis the stuff we're made of ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:54, Reply)

I've mentioned before that I am an equal opportunities bastard
everyone gets some, no matter their situation
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Shirley there's only one person at fault here,
bit selfish of them wasn't it?
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:50, Reply)

you're right
you are a bastard and I can't believe that you caused that to happen
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Not me,
You cheddar-wizard.
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:55, Reply)

who are you calling Shirley?

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Not you.
Sorry :(.
She started it.
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:01, Reply)

What the hell are you on about?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:07, Reply)

"Don't call me Shirley"
was a line from Police Squad, or Airplane, or something with Leslie Nielson in it.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:16, Reply)

I know :)
I was wondering what colonel was on about
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Shirley, not you :)
You seemed very aggressive :S
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:26, Reply)

Oh bugger off

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Good use of the word 'bugger.'

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Ooof.
Shot through the heart.
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:56, Reply)

she shoots,she scores

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:01, Reply)

I think he was saying that it was all hair things fault.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:26, Reply)

Spot on.
Well and yours.
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:58, Reply)

ha ha,
screw you,
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:00, Reply)

;)
kiss kiss.
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:02, Reply)

I did start it,
I was however nice to VC, not her fault and she shouldn't have had to deal with it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:05, Reply)

Haha I wasn't insinuating that you did, as I said there's only one person to blame.
You probably did tho, I noticed you're like that.

Yea, VC's too kind for her own good.
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:11, Reply)

Her post said something like don't do what you're about to do,
and I asked if he was going to McDonalds.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:14, Reply)

I'm glad
that I didn't see the badness.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:05, Reply)

glad
jealous
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Hahah
possibly a little bit. Just in a rubberneck way. But in general my soul is grateful that it did not get smoked like a kipper by the fumes of misery. Or something.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:09, Reply)

"smoked like a kipper by the fumes of misery"
Is awesome.
I like it rather a lot.
Is that your own, or a quote?
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:13, Reply)

it just came out
right there and then!
I like it too. I've been inventing things all day. Well words and phrases, not things.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Well, I'm stealing it.
So well done!
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Proud
as a very proud person.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Well, I've been having a spiffing day.
So what's been going on here?
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:09, Reply)

The usual.
Shit jokes, terrible bullying, suicide and fast food.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Top day!
Covered all the bases there.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Shit jokes, terrible bullying, suicide and fast food.
For a moment there I thought I was drowning.
Well, they say your life flashes before you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Erm 100 yay!
Kind of
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:20, Reply)

I was trying to keep up with this on my phone
and I genuinely am upset.
( Maladicta, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:28, Reply)

What did I miss?
Curse having a job.

I want to be unemployed again so I can spend all day here talking shite.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:29, Reply)

A lot of nastiness.

( Maladicta, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:35, Reply)

I don't think there was that much nastiness
This is b3ta. People make jokes.

Noone said 'I'm glad' or 'Go for it', just gags making light of the situation.

And if we can make light of child abduction and rape, I don't think suicide is off the table.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:47, Reply)

I don't know - I'm devastated that a friend of mine was pushed to do something like this
and while this may have clouded my judgement especially as I still feel like I could have done something to stop him, I am still upset.
( Maladicta, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:53, Reply)

I feel for you, honestly
It's a massive shame VC deleted the thread because it was both touching and hilarious. This place is fluffy and acerbic in almost equal measure, and that thread was a great example of that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:05, Reply)

I was trying to work out what was going on
reading on my phone and then the thread got too big for my phone to display it - fuck, this is horrible. No one should have to go through this, especially as it came completely out of the blue - not to mention no one should feel it's their only solution. I, for one, will miss him immensely if this is the case.

EDIT: I know nothing more than any of you, and apologise if I've implied I do.
( Maladicta, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:10, Reply)