It has been pointed out that my best is no longer good enough
so to that end, I'm off.

I'm quitting B3ta, anyone who wants my account can have it.

I've changed the password to "Clendrixisameanie"

Knock yourselves out.

edit - yeah, okay it was a joke.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:36, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't believe you.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Oops.
Sorry everyone.
The Queen of Cuntery has resigned and it's all my fault.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:37, Reply)

FUCKING FLOUNCER
Nice heels though
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Fucking Gorgeous Swishy Coat
*Watches very professional looking SWISH*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:38, Reply)

I WILL MISS AL!
But it's OK, because Barry Chuckle has agreed to take his place on the board.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Woo
*collapses at keyboard*
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:40, Reply)

You're the best...
around!
nothings gonna ever keep you down.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:42, Reply)

I hope Bert takes over al's account

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Like we'd be able to tell the difference between one goat fucker and another

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:47, Reply)

True
But I haven't kissed bert (I don't think) so it'd be nice to have some more fresh meat round here.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:49, Reply)

al's a bottom,
bert's more of a top.
I think that's the only difference though.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:52, Reply)

That's true
Bert's cock is a bit odd looking too
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:52, Reply)

Something's wrong
The first thing that came to mind after reading that post was *rims Al*

I think I need to go back to sleep...forever.

:edit: I could've sworn you were Clendrix until after I replied.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:53, Reply)

( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:55, Reply)

What?
It's not that much of an insult. Is it? I mean I know she's from that place where everybody is ginger and they talk funny but she has some redeeming qualities*

*may contain traces of utter lie. She's awful. Sorry Clenders
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I am not insulted to be compared to CHCB
and I am horrified to think you might have thought this, you cheeky little shit.

I'm just speechless at your continued retarbness.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:03, Reply)

I got out of bed too quickly
It made my eyesight go all shit.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:06, Reply)

fuck you, stumpy!
*closes legs on way out*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:03, Reply)

The burning should stop soon
put some live yoghurt on it
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:06, Reply)

I'm not sure whether this is supposed to be an insult to me
Or whether you're suggesting that CHCB is getting terrible friction burns on her thighs because it's been so long since her legs were last closed.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:08, Reply)

*tries not to laugh*
*laughs*
I will punch you in the face next time I see you.
100% FACT
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:21, Reply)

The month of anticipation will make it all the sweeter.
100% fact.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:31, Reply)

it's the shame that's the hardest to bear

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:08, Reply)

I give him
hours...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Al come back
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5575644/Suicidal-British-man-saved-by-online-friend-in-Australia.html
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:50, Reply)

What the fuck?

( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:52, Reply)

I feel funny...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Bloody hell!!!!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Was that Vampy?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:52, Reply)

Aye

( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:54, Reply)

ha ha ha
Oh god, national news.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:53, Reply)

that's probably the most positive news story about b3ta ever,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Aye
Not sure you can really get much more positive than that.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:57, Reply)

"it's really nice to know people take these things seriously"
We obviously need more quickthinking people in this country.
*issues visa*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:56, Reply)

That was me. And Al.
*prouds*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Wonderful irony isn't it
Although to be fair those that could do something did, those that couldn't have fun.

The most important thing is that he's alright.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:58, Reply)

I'm going to renounce my flounce
and say, yes this is a good thing.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Ha, I knew you couldn't stay away from us

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:03, Reply)

I can't help myself
It's like you're covered in internet heroin and I have to rub myself all over you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:05, Reply)

opens arms

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:07, Reply)

*covers self in treacle*

( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Let's not go that far

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Slow news day do we think?

(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I agree

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Or something fluffy
To distract the attention of the baying masses?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Not exactly a fluffy story is it?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:07, Reply)

In my books it is.
Bloke saved form early death. Yup. Result. Maybe a bit fuzzy rather than full grown fluff but look, the internetz is gud.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:10, Reply)

The conversation actually went
I will kill myself in 15 minutes
are you sure?
Yes
Are you sure?
Yes
Are you sure?
Yes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Best. Riposte, EVAH!!!!!

I fucking love that.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:07, Reply)

rolls eyes and falls over a dog on the way out

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:07, Reply)

*awards 'Internetter of the day' award*
Well done! *appluads*
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Genius

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:14, Reply)

I think I done a little sick in my mouth

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Oh for fucks sake
I knew *something* was being released, but that's bloody ridiculous. They got my age wrong for a start.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:17, Reply)

How does that kind of story
make the papers? Do the police release it?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Fucked if I know
All I got asked was if I wanted to speak to the press, the reply to which was a resounding "no". I'm pretty pissed off with this actually - I want to know how they decided that releasing stuff like this was a good idea.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Sue them
for emotional trauma and then hold a big bash and buy us all drinks!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Going to speak to the police complaints people
I'd like to know the decisions behind this. Not happy.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:27, Reply)

I went to a funeral on Tueday
On Wednesday the local paper ran an article on the chap (he as quite well known) and stated that he employed a carer for his 3 dogs! Made me chuckle did that
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Then a big bash and beers and Happy Meals!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Cunt them in the fuck
for great justice!
*polishes ruler of doom*
( Maladicta, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 21:10, Reply)

I'm not surprised
I'd be fuming. Hope you manage to bring them to justice with a Honda Accord.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:33, Reply)

I was wondering that myself

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:22, Reply)

And they didn't even mention your amazing hair.
What a waste.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:23, Reply)