He caught a bad dose of INTERNET LIES.
Not the interesting sort that make for good QOTW answers, but the fucked up sort that make you actually dangerous.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:20, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Oh?
Fair enough. He always seemed vaugely ok to me. Dangerous though?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:21, Reply)

Yes.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:21, Reply)

Shame then.
Like I said, he seemed like a vaugely ok newish person. Guess I was wrong.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:23, Reply)

Absolutely.
Also, if you're a woman, there's a high chance you'll receive a picture of his dick. And then he'll deny it when he's called out.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:40, Reply)

Tru dat

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:42, Reply)

Well. Seems like a weird fucker then
Never got any photos though, probably something to do with me not being a woman. The other stuff though? Either my bullshit detector was malfunctioning, I was too tired to pick up on it or I just wasn't around enough when it kicked off. Probably a mix of three.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:44, Reply)

DOES THIS MEAN I'M NOT A WOMAN??????
Fredz has a point. I fear my femininininity is quite seriously under threat because I didn't get the dick pics. Please everyone, only cock can cure me now.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:07, Reply)

Too late for you my dear
If he hasn't smarmed onto you enough then he's not going to now.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:13, Reply)

:(
I guess he must have realised that I'm just not that kind of girl.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:17, Reply)

Who the hell are you kidding
You're the kind of girl that Ed finds creepy, scary and dangerous.
( Captain V, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:58, Reply)

and I thought you'd be responding
to my "only cock can cure me now" comment. Your loss, dollface.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:59, Reply)

Nah
I know that you have a metaphorical spring between your knees and get enough fetid cock in a week to last a normal person a lifetime.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:01, Reply)

don't be so hard on yourself,
it didn't seem that fetid.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:02, Reply)

That was such a weak response
You're losing your touch in your old age (In more ways than one).
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:04, Reply)

I can't keep it up for very long.
Much like you.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:06, Reply)

/bites knuckles to keep from laughing
ms CHCB! that was meeeeeeeeeeeean.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:11, Reply)

It's not my fault she's so unattractive
Fucking with my eyes closed only helps so much as her old, leathery skin feels disgusting.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:15, Reply)

Saucer of Milk Catface?!
:P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:16, Reply)

Not just yet
I need to go eat some grass now that CHCB has let me go.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:17, Reply)

try hemlock.
Same emetic effect but slightly more lethal.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:18, Reply)

a bulimic cat, excellent.
:(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:19, Reply)

No no no
The things CHCB forces me to do make me feel awfully sick so I find it best to just get it over and done with.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:20, Reply)

do they leave a bad taste in your mouth?
(why am I even bothering to set you up for these gags?)
(and yes, you can pun on the word gags too)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:24, Reply)

you were actually fucking the couch.
I'd given up on your intolerably unskilled thrusting and had gone for a nice cup of tea and a party ring.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:18, Reply)

Says a lot about you
That I couldn't tell the difference...
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:19, Reply)

Says a lot about you
that you didn't stop
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:20, Reply)

What can I say
It was more satisfying that you'd have been.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:21, Reply)

same applies to the tea and the party ring

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:22, Reply)

I dunno, I reckon I could just start gazzing pictures of cocks to people
I've got sod all else on at the moment!

(I'd like to state that was a joke by the way....)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:22, Reply)

C'mon Fredz, we're waiting

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Yeah well
I've got performance anxiety now.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:29, Reply)

pfft

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:33, Reply)

Laughter never helps matters...
(Just wondering... what exactly did he think posting pictures of his cock would acheive?)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 23:36, Reply)

no idea...
I'm just glad he never gazzed me photos.
/relief
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:10, Reply)