arghghghghghghghghgh
Basically I just want a place to scream in because I am massively angry at everything. I have however found a pie in the freezer which is nice.

I was going to go hit my car with spanners (the old one and in a constructive way) but I feel like internet moping instead. Also I have a blister on my foot. Please tell me really crappy things that have happened to you so I can sit here and laugh at you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 17:55, 34 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

since I turned 40
the soft downy hair around my rusty sherriff's badge has gone all pubey.
My nasal hairs are thickening too.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:07, Reply)

My hands are full of tiny little bramble spines
That I keep unexpectedly finding.

It's pretty much taken masturbation off tonights menu.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:09, Reply)

This is winning so far

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:14, Reply)

I went to Glastonbury,
it rained briefly once and I had to shelter in a beer tent for 10 whole minutes.
I was livid.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:11, Reply)

I got some sort of weird email from someone I don't know that said
"the history is the same that we saw in the primary school but the writers always change."

I tried to figure out if I had some weird stalker or something then I realised I'm neither cute or clever enough to have one.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:12, Reply)

I got called a slag on Friday.
Completely uncalled for.


Well, maybe a little bit.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:25, Reply)

My Mum called me catface
Then laughed at me :(
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:28, Reply)

haha
seriously?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:29, Reply)

Yes :(
I had a letter addressed to [Captain] catface [V].
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:32, Reply)

But you don't look like a cat!
*baffled*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:33, Reply)

Not always
At TGB's birthday bash I was pissed enough that when PPD wanted to draw a cat's face on me I shrugged and said "why not".
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:35, Reply)

Yup, just seen the pic!
There's worse things to be called.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:36, Reply)

On the plus side
you're now winning
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:39, Reply)

Woo!

( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:47, Reply)

Damn you sir
and your depths of depravity.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:56, Reply)

Very true
And I don't know many people with their own freaking theme tune.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:42, Reply)

That's cool.
I would love people to cheer and clap when I walked into a room, like an American sitcom.

Instead of jeering and throwing sharp things
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:44, Reply)

That's not how I remember it
I seem to recall girls swooning the first time we were in a room together.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:46, Reply)

But I couldn't gay it up every day.
It may become a self-fulfilling prophecy!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:49, Reply)

Very true
I think I'll have to wear this t-shirt more often just to make sure everybody knows.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:51, Reply)

It says
"I'm not" on the back :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:53, Reply)

No it doesnt :(

( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:57, Reply)

I like that!
Though it may hint that thou doth protest too much:S
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:53, Reply)

A lot of people have said this
*sigh*
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:57, Reply)

I feel your pain.
And your arse

*minces off giggling*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 18:58, Reply)

I can't go to Paris on Wednesday
because my colleague has buggered his leg up. I was looking forward to a day out of the office.
( Maladicta, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:01, Reply)

My body
is pretty much covered in a mixture of matt white emulsion and sweat.

I bet there are fetish sites where I could make a fortune.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:31, Reply)

xxx dulux
actually, joking aside I'll do a quick google for diy based porn and get back to you on this
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:18, Reply)

results are just in
they are disturbing and varied.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:21, Reply)

Sounds like a sexual accident waiting to happen

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:26, Reply)

I appear to have ruined my shoulder
It's not particularly handy for when you need to move your shoulder. Which is quite a lot it turns out.

Not the biggest awful thing, but pretty annoying.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 19:36, Reply)

why are you hitting your car?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:13, Reply)

Wow flashback
To "Why are you hitting yourself" and my little brother. Good times.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:16, Reply)

Awww i give you hugs if that would make you feel a bit better
or i could tell you once at my secondary school i fell down a drain cover when i ran over it.

not the funniest thing in the world, but for everyone else it was
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 20:24, Reply)