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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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There is a tiny black bug
It is crawling around inside my monitor and I can't squash it.

What's been crawling around inside you lately?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:37, 85 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
Several dragons
A few tourists all crawling around in my massive vag.

ho ho ho I may as well get in there first
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:41, Reply)
That's what santa said
Just before he climbed inside. It certainly explains the first step in the evolution of your cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:42, Reply)
haha
good one
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:56, Reply)
I've got one of those
On my profile.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:42, Reply)
I know
And I hate it. Luckily the real bug has crawled off of the LCD now so I cant see it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:43, Reply)
Teehee

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:02, Reply)
I think I've got scabies.

I keep itching, and I can feel tiny things crawling on me.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:45, Reply)
I had scabies once.
Tru dat.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:46, Reply)
Was it like what I described?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:47, Reply)
I can't remember as I was only eight at the time.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:48, Reply)
Oh.
I'm gonna assume I'm right though.
*itches*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)
What you have sounds like a grade 1 possession of your body.
If you start talking in tongues then you need to find your nearest priest.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:53, Reply)
It'll be fine.
I'm not a big fan of priests though.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:54, Reply)
Maybe it's just as well.
It would have been difficult to tell one way or the other with you.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:59, Reply)
Scabies are ecto-parasites
They don't count
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:32, Reply)
It's ok, it only takes 3 days for the stuff to leave your system.
From then on, it's purely phsycological, you've done the hard bit.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:47, Reply)
What stuff?
Scabies is microscopic lice that burrow around inside your skin.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)
The smack.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:17, Reply)
I;m NooT A SMAKhed!

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:39, Reply)
I've got the song, 'Don't it make my brown eyes blue', by Crystal Gayle crawling around my head.
WTF, I don't even have brown eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:46, Reply)
Deguese the screen and see if it fucks shit up.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:46, Reply)
You can't degauss an LCD though,
Can you?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:47, Reply)
How do you know he has an LCD?
It's DEGAUSS.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:50, Reply)
By reading the thread...
"And I hate it. Luckily the real bug has crawled off of the LCD now so I cant see it."

:edit: Also I doubt a bug small enough to crawl inside a monitor could survive inside of a CRT monitor.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:50, Reply)
My bad.
They both spelled degauss wrong though!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:54, Reply)
I knew how to spell it, but fucked up.
I think Gonz guessed wildly and hammered the keyboard.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:56, Reply)
Yeh,
but Gonz is a marvel who actually knows how to do stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:04, Reply)
sush it up big times !
It's to hot to even thinks straight !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:18, Reply)
You can't do that to LCD screens
There's no magnetic field to degauss!

:edit: Freaking mindpiss.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)
This is happening too often now.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:52, Reply)
It's because
your love is so strong you think the same
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:55, Reply)
Ahhh
aren't they sweet vom-inducing?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:03, Reply)
I hope you ARE sick.
Nothing worse than heaving and sweating on a really hot day.
*frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:04, Reply)
*thinks about heaving and sweating*
I disagree.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)
Dammit,
How about retching and spewing?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:07, Reply)
Evacuation of bodily liquids isn't always a bad thing, young Kaol.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:08, Reply)
I don't like being sick.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)
Stop eating those shards of grim then.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)
They're all gone.
Ate the lot.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:25, Reply)
Weirdo.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:25, Reply)
You love it.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:27, Reply)
I wouldn't go that far.
But I don't mind it if it's happening far, far away.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:29, Reply)
I don't think I can get a visa
For Australia.
I'm only a waiter.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:30, Reply)
We can ship you there
in a packing crate instead. It's all good
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:31, Reply)
If you can speak, walk on two legs and have opposable thumbs
they'll snap you up over there.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:32, Reply)
Quick Kaol
We'll fetch CHCB then drive Clendrix's house in our crazymobile!

When she gets home there'll be three drunk crazy people in her living room =D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:32, Reply)
GET BACK TO WORK

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:33, Reply)
NO

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:35, Reply)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:35, Reply)
DO WHAT CLENDIX SAYS

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:36, Reply)
Jesus fucking Christ
If you get sacked, do I have to sub ALL your bowling sessions from now on?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:36, Reply)
I'm giving you that money at Bill's
And no.

*goes to work*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:37, Reply)
Oh you're going to pay me back at the next bash?
*yawns*
Like, whatever.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:38, Reply)
I'm going to molest you at the next bash

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:39, Reply)
Good news right here.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:50, Reply)
I talked to that nice research psychologist today
and she didn't mind me being crazy. In fact, I think it helped her research. She also said I couldn't possibly shock her, she'd heard it all before. It was nice of her to lie to me like that.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:49, Reply)
Oooh, how did a bug get inside the LCD screen?
I thought it might be a CRT as there is more room there.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:16, Reply)
I don't know
It is really small though.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:22, Reply)
*points*
*laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)
what does degauss mean?
thxplz
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:08, Reply)

lmgtfy.com/?q=degauss
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:09, Reply)
Well I've read that and I'm still no clearer.
*is stooooopid*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:11, Reply)
ouch
*hot brain now*

EDIT: by the way, that 'Let me google that for you' is brilliant!
And i know I could have googled it, but when real people explain complicated things to me it makes it a bit easier to decipher :-P
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:17, Reply)
I agree.
But I like being rude.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)
You do it so well : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:21, Reply)
*prouds*

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)
I'm going to be honest, I don't think it has any real-world practical use.
Other than making the most sattisfactory 'dong' sound.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)
It can sort out distorted output
Most CRTs do it automatically when you turn them on even though you'd rarely have to do it manually if they didn't.

Oh, also good for avoiding German sea mines in WWII...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)
Yes!
Damn those magnetic mines!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:27, Reply)
I want to read up on the physics now
It looks very interesting. Unfortunately I'm busy, I shouldn't still be posting.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:29, Reply)
Go do work!
I'll still be here when you get back :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:29, Reply)
And sadly
you're still here now I am back.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:32, Reply)
It's only awkward
Because of the naked pictures you sent me.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:33, Reply)
The ones she took of you prancing around?
You have to stop doing that.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:34, Reply)
No, the ones she took
Of her 80-year-old neighbour nude-sunbathing.
He's very wrinkly :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:35, Reply)
You're NAAAAAASTY

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:36, Reply)
You begged me to send them
as you had wanked over the others ones so much they had gone crispy and snapped in half
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:35, Reply)
You said you needed them on your trip to the south pole of mars.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:37, Reply)
I had to cancel that trip,
As I hurt my knee.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:42, Reply)
aww, that's so romantic
"I'll never let go, V!" *plop*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:34, Reply)
Are you posting from the karsy?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:37, Reply)
GET BACK TO WORK

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:41, Reply)
Haha!
and a re-entry in this decade's Word Chart, at number one: It's 'karsy'!!
Or is it khazi...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:44, Reply)
Khazi
I couldn't remember how to spell it when I made that post but Khazi seems better to me.

*is working...really*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:48, Reply)
I am 'working' too
EDIT:
And there's a raaawk club in Liverpool called the Krazyhouse, which I routinely call the Karzyhouse. My phone even spells it now...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 11:52, Reply)

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