Oh, you pretentious little shitbag.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8117619.stm

"Quipped"? "Genre-Specific"? If I ever found one of my children talking like that I'd bully them myself.

So... How were you pretentious/precocious when you were a child?

EDIT: Blimey! /OT has turned in to /links!
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:14, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I used to
Correct my biology teacher all the time.
He was shit, and hated me.
I don't blame him.
( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Dear me...
that doesn't sound like something you'd do.
Did you start all your corrections with, 'Er...'?
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Nope.
I put my hand up.
( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Dirty bastard.
Bloody public schools.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Also,
I read this the other day, and it made me want to punch the kid.
Then force-feed him magnetic tape while screaming "YOU CAN'T DO THIS WITH AN IPOD, YOU SMUG CUNT".

I think the major issue I had with this article was that nowhere did they make reference to the fact that TECHNOLOGY PROGRESSES.

"Hahaha! Look, this steam-engine is shit! You have to put coal in it! And it only goes at walking-speed!
A modern tractor, however, is far better. It can go much faster. *smugs*"
( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:20, Reply)

I imagine that he will spend the rest of his life dedicated to the technology he has in these, his pubescent years.
Wondering where the world went and why he's so alone, and the only friend he has is his iPod, and even that won't work any more. Why won't you work, iPod? WHYYYYYYY?

And then he kills himself.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Ah man...
That'd be like WELL SWEET, innit?
( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:36, Reply)

I did the same in chemistry
But my teacher loved me for it =D
( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:53, Reply)

It comes with a handy belt clip screwed on to the back, yet the weight of the unit is enough to haul down a low-slung pair of combats. When I wore it walking down the street or going into shops, I got strange looks, a mixture of surprise and curiosity,
Because he's a fatty fat fatty who shouldn't be wearing low slung combats perhaps?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:19, Reply)

We could wean him off iPods by tempting him with old fashioned foods.
Like, instead of lard and crisps, we could feed him salads and granola bars.

And then, just when he's thin enough to be seen in public, we send him to the Cadbury factory. It would be a sight worth seeing.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I want to go to the Cadbury factory
but only if I can eat everything I touch.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

eww Cadbury
chocolate doesn't really taste of much.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Is that a euphemism?
Well...?
(MyFakeName, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 16:15, Reply)

I used to correct my teachers' spellings
But in the end they came round to my way of thinking and the kids used to come to me with their spelling books to save the teachers a job.
I wasn't smug. And half the time it got me beaten up anyway.
I went to SHIT primary school. When I was 10 they used to sit me in the secretary's office answering the phone when she was off ill. True!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Scott Campbell co-edits his own news website,
Checked it out yet? Well worth a nanosecond of anyone's life.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

This thread has generated a surprising amount of hatred, intolerance and bullying.
I vote we hang out in here for the rest of the day.
You twats.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

RACIST

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:27, Reply)

You remind me of someone

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Specials

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Really?
Don't they all look the same?
( Cawl, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Yes, that was my point.

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:31, Reply)

But I'm the wrong colour
Well most of me is anyway. I have a definite redneck colour palette going on today. Working it fabulously though
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Ooh
hanging out with fellow cunts *tips hat* Afternoon all
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 15:19, Reply)