Good Morning B3tans Everywhere...
Come on in,
the music's loud...
the drugs are clean...
the women/men are easy...
the coffee's hot and strong...


got any Molly Sugden jokes?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 7:28, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Q. How many Molly Sugdens does it take to change a lightbulb.
A. Two

One to change the bulb and one to keep hold of her pussy.
( girlinthehole, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 7:40, Reply)

Ha!
and indeed Ha!


off out for an hour or so TGB, you're in charge.
do you know where the biscuits are?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 7:47, Reply)

TGB?

( girlinthehole, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 7:51, Reply)

You'll have to excuse him GBG
he's old and not all there. ;)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:09, Reply)

WOOHOOO
I'm in charge. *looks smug*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Q. What's cold and grey and won't be stroked tonight?
A. Mollie Sugden's pussy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 7:50, Reply)

who the feck is this molly sugden?
/goes off to google.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:00, Reply)

christ now I see your point Light.
/shudder.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:08, Reply)

heeeeeeeeeeeey
it ain't morning for me until I wake up and it's still 3:39 am

and that's whats up

BIG PIMPIN

/drunk blog
( Lisette von Falcon, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:39, Reply)

Greetings
I am dog-sitting a friend's dog and staying at his house for the night. Even though I prefer to play with pussies, it's a pleasure to walk the dog.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:48, Reply)

If anybody can think of a joke that doesn't involve the word "pussy"
I will give them a gold star, or a shiny nickel, or something like that.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:36, Reply)

What did Molly Sugden's soul say as it went AWOL?
I'm free!

(I know crap, but no pussy!)
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Here you go

( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:10, Reply)

and back in the room...
sorry about the confusion earlier GBH, it were early and i indeed are not all there...

which leads neatly into what i've been up to this morning... i've just got back from A&E and am now sitting here wearing an eye-patch. this is on account of getting a bit of chipboard-splintery-badness in my eye yesterday and then not managing (it transpires) to get it all out. my right eye is all swellededed up, a wee bit like john merrick. and it hurts like a proper royal fuckery.
arse biscuits!
;-(
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:16, Reply)

But
you get to be a PIRATE for the day! How frigging cool is that?!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:18, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!
shiver me mainbrace and pass me the cabinboy!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Captain V doesn't seem to be here yet...
but when he does get here I'll pass him your way!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:20, Reply)

is Cap'n V young and nubile?
LOL
but seriously, why the chuff are eyes so chuffing sensitive?
picture this, me driving along with an eye-patch (black one, not the normal National Health brown) and black Ray-Ban Clubmasters on top. it's a groovy look, imagine jack nicholson meets long john silver?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)

Eyes are sensitive
because when Aliens designed us they put in lots of weaknesses so when they can back to take over earth and enslave the human race it would be a lot easier.

That's why Aliens have such long fingers, for eye poking.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:28, Reply)

But us humans make up for lack of intelligence by being cunning and devious
That's why we invented the knife...

... and Kaol too.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:34, Reply)

and now it's all clear to me.
aliens.
mmmmmmmmmm.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:36, Reply)

So you've got an eyepatch made out of an arse-biscuit?
But seriously, hope your eye recovers and de-splinters itself.

Anyway, I've just come back from walking my friends's dog.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:27, Reply)

hand crafted by mcvities...
from finest arse-ingredients.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:31, Reply)

arsegredients
to be used for the finest bum-recipes in the land.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:44, Reply)

GBH!

( girlinthehole, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:21, Reply)