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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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"they're so well written"
I had to pause for a moment to consider my response. I managed to calm it down to "they're easy to read" but there were any number of replies that would have worked.
I enjoyed reading the books, but well written? pffft
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:37, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Same as with Dan Brown really, his stories are enjoyable, but his writing is absolutely dire!
EDIT: Although, if I pass comment on how much I enjoy reading the Harry Potter books, I get a punch off Spike. Grr.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Oh.
Were you dropped on your head as a child?
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:47, Reply)

...it's often too easy to confuse "easy to read" with "well written."
I'd argue Rowling's Boy-Git-Wizard comes under "easy to read," although I have to say I tried and failed to read 3 of them. (Not on account of being retarded, I hasten to add.) I tried the first two, and after being mildly amused by the first couple of chapters in which he is abused by his foster family, I just got utterly fed up with the juvenile tone. As soon as he got to Hogwart's I really couldn't be bothered with it.
At the insistence of an ardent fan, I did try to read one of the later ones, on the promise that "they get more grown-up later in the series."
Well, it was less juvenile, but that just made it all the more obvious how lousy the prose was.
"Well written" is an accolade I'd give to something like Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, or A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M Miller Jr. (Many others, obviously; those are just a couple of favourites)
Although, to open another can of worms, would you consider Stephen King to be "well written?" I know he's often dismissed as "just another horror writer," but I thought some of his better stuff (e.g., It, Dolores Claiborne, Misery) was really rather well executed.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:54, Reply)

I prefer his short story stuff. I'd suggest that it is well written, but mostly when compared to the standards of other popular authors.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:57, Reply)

And think all the hype they get is bollocks.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:47, Reply)

they are majorly over-hyped. pretty much every other book I own is better written and has a better story. There is something strangely compelling about them though. can't figure out what it is.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:48, Reply)

*touches arm*
TSSSSSSSSCCCHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Stress!!!!! Stress!!!!!
*dances round*
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:48, Reply)

But this subject always gets the same reaction.
*throws shoe*
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:50, Reply)

*continues to dance*
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I'm stressed because I have nothing to do, everything is going really well for me, and I'm still in my pyjamas!
*throws other shoe*
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:53, Reply)

*engages pandertron*
Would they be red silk and very small?
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Lucky that I, Kaol, The Guardian Of Internet Justice And Decency, was here to stop you in time.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:02, Reply)

thank you for stopping me. My, that's a fine shirt your wearing, are you naked under those trousers?
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I'm wearing a black vest.
And a leather jacket.
Damn I'm cool.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:10, Reply)

I just thought about myself. And I went all floppy.
Well, floppy would imply enough length to flop. It's still pointy, but it's all wrinkly now.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Like the last button mushroom in the Spar.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:14, Reply)

*Turns off pandatron*
A pair of Homer Simpson boxers and a over-sized t-shirt that I stole off an ex.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Don't you think you ought to make an effort for all the wanking virgins I just gave erections to at the thought of your PJs?
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Its really a teeny tiny red and black silk and lace nightdress with a see through boob-area.
Acceptable?
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:04, Reply)

But that costs extra.
Plus, I seem to be the only female in this thread.
Edit: Oh wait, I've just spotted Psychochomp further down.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:11, Reply)

about what you normally read.
you've got to like the subject matter really.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Usually human, or magic based, such as the First Law series, Sabriel, The dark Magician series or anything by Tamora Pierce.
And horror. Lots of horror.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)

I have those. they tend to go on a bit. I love the sabriel stuff though, and when I eventually get a tattoo it's going to be a charter mark.
I'd recommend reading Robin Hobb's farseer stuff. really good.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Quest fantasy written by a guy who can't stand quest fantasy. They're amazing.
Also, the tattoo? That's a brilliant idea. *steals and adds to list of future tattoos*
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:52, Reply)

damn you!
my plan was that if I decided I wanted to get more tattoos then more charter marks would work quite nicely. all different sizes and types.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:58, Reply)

That sounds like a really good idea. Pics please if you do.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:03, Reply)

pros: I want a tattoo, and think they would look good
cons: can I be arsed with the inevitable discussion of them I have from my brother, who will also invariably tell my parents who will also want discussion.
it's not so much that I care what they think, but more that I don't want to hear them tell me.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:06, Reply)

My mum tries her hardest to forget mine. I put a picture on facebook when I got it, So most of my family knows, except for my nanna, who would probably disown me if she found out.
My 23 year old cousin went nuts, because she got a generic tramp stamp when she was 15 that she now hates.
Plus, the awesomeness of the tattoo will last far longer than the discussion.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:27, Reply)

on either occasion when I returned from a trip round the world with a new tattoo.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:32, Reply)

my skin is pristine, free of piercings and everything. there is a good tattooist just up the road from my house, so it's only a matter of time (and money). I've even made up a picture of the mark I want, so I'm ready to go...
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:33, Reply)

"The Charter Mark was an award demonstrating the achievement of national standard for excellence in customer service in United Kingdom public sector organisations."
Sexy.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:54, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Kingdom_trilogy#The_Charter_and_Free_Magic
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:59, Reply)

probably because there's so much crap horror around.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:58, Reply)

And most of it seems to be chick fic, with a supernatural love interest thrown in.
You have to root through so much crap to find the good stuff.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:00, Reply)

I'm not a fan of things that actually make me scared or really freak me out.
his book '48 is fucking brilliant
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:02, Reply)

You should try the Secret Of Crickley Hall, absolutely chilling.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:06, Reply)

haunted I think
*shivers*
that's why I like stephen king. it's more weird than scary, and I can deal with that quite comfortably
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:07, Reply)

I've read 11 of his books, all are brilliant.
When a work colleague heard that I like him, she recommended Stephen King. I've never actually read any of his books, is that a bad thing?
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:15, Reply)

it's worth a try though. I'd start with Nightmares and Dreamscapes, or the Bachman Books. collections of short stories. then decide which ones you like best, and ask someone who knows which books to read based on that.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Except for Misery. I love/hate that book. Far better than the film.
Have you seen the film adaption of The Mist? Best ending of any film, ever.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:15, Reply)

and I can't remember if I've read it. I think I have, and if I have it inspired one of my weirdest ever dreams.
there was a mist around where I live, full of carnivorous monkeys and to subdue said monkeys you had to speak french to them. and for some reason there was a tree made of pork.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:17, Reply)

I like.
You should definitely read it, its very good. But I pissed myself laughing at the end of the film.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:20, Reply)

How I loved the ending of that film, far better than how the book ends. Then again the film on the whole was not that good.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)

I can't believe someone else agrees!
The ending to The Mist was THE BEST FILM ENDING EVER.
The film is shit. The story is shit. The acting is shit.
But I don't think I've ever laughed anywhere near as hard as I did at the ending.
PURE. COMEDY. GENIUS.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:20, Reply)

it does sound pretty funny :-D
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:23, Reply)

I'd just randomly start giggling at odd moments.
Shit film, perfect ending.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:28, Reply)

You've already seen my reaction to Harry Potter.
You don't want to get me started on Fucking Shitlight.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)

But I have a few friends who have.
Apparently, when the 'vampires' go in the sunlight, they don't catch fire, burn or turn to dust like proper vampires. No. They just sparkle.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:30, Reply)

They would burn.
Not to dust, but it'd be like a part of your soul is being burned in a frying pan with no oil.
Or so I've heard.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:32, Reply)

And burn it in the fire that should be lite with the Ann Rice books!
I like my horror to be good, and horrific.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:16, Reply)

I quite enjoyed the books when first read them. not so much now. and queen of the damned was one of the worst book to film conversions ever. although there was some good music on the soundtrack.
static-x FTW!
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:21, Reply)

I need to get hold of some. not listened to any for a while.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)

They were doing shots in the gaps between songs.
And described their music as "Evil Disco".
Best genre ever.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:29, Reply)

is fantastic. You can tell he was an archaeologist, half the cast are over 100,000 years old.
*wants to be a T'lan Imass*
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:04, Reply)

( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:41, Reply)

I tend to read mostly sci-fi and fantasy anyway, and as such found the stories at least reasonably entertaing, despite them being fully ripped-off from a number of sources.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:46, Reply)

I'm a fan of the books. Well written, no. Fun to read, yes.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:46, Reply)

You mean No. 31's gonna shoot himself in the head outside a Nazi bunker?
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:51, Reply)

( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:57, Reply)

From his recent comedy vehicle.
"No, I haven't read Harry Potter. But I have read the complete works of William Blake, so fuck off."
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:49, Reply)

(Now I need to read something of comparable literary significance to William Blake, so that I can use this myself...)
EDIT: Similarly, Jack Dee:
"...and people defend it by saying 'Oh, it's ok, 'cause it's a children's book, but grown-ups can read it as well.'
Of course they can, it's a fucking book. They only have to be able to read..."
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:00, Reply)

of the hairy snotter franchise and dismissed it out of hand
then became confused as to why they were so well received when in fact they are no more than an amalgam of about 6 other similar, and probably better books/films with a similar theme
plus the fact the cunt that wrote is a horrorbag of the highest order
and why adults, why the fuck do they read them? are they trying to impress someone....anyone....fucking retards
the only good thing to come out of it all is that i can use it as a handy lithmus test, in that if anyone professes and an interest in the books i can immediately put them on the growing 'list of cunts and people whose opinion i care little for'
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:58, Reply)

because I use people opinions of people who read and enjoy Harry Potter as a litmus test for pretentious twats who should either think before they post, or possibly just stop being such cockends.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:03, Reply)

I can still read plenty of books from my childhood and enjoy them, so why not those?
fair enough if people don't like them, but I don't see any reason why there is a problem with adults reading them
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:04, Reply)

It wasn't so much that adults shouldn't read them..it was more the slavering, over the top enthusiasm that these cunts had for what is essentially a very middle of the road wholesale, rip off, of a franchise.
and as you say vipros, you may have read books 'in your childhood' that you still enjoy, that is completely understandable...but you were a child when you read them and they now reside in a special place that you can take comfort in revisiting. you didn't jump on some fucking bandwagon in your mid thirties and get caught up in a whole shitstorm of hype and mass hypnosis whereby regular member of the public where convinced into believeing that this franchise was in fact the greatest story EVER told.
and i stand by my comments, if you want to read them, fine. if you harp on about them being 'totally amazing', which they are not, then you go on the list, no exceptions
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:13, Reply)

with that clarification I can totally see your point (might want to pull those trousers up *snigger*)
they are far from the best books ever, and far from original. there is no need for a media frenzy about any book frankly.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:14, Reply)

because your original post was so shit it needs pulling apart.
"if anyone professes and an interest in the books" is what you wrote, now, grammatical errors aside, that displays a ridiculous knee jerk reaction to what is a popular franchise of easy to read books with a long running plot line.
I was interested to see how it ended and as it happens I was disappointed. But I was still interested and I think the films have got progressively better as the franchise has gone on, which is a good thing.
There was a huge amount of hype about the books, but that was mainly driven by the media who had clearly been bum sexed by the advertisers.
I would stand by my comment that, if someone were to dismiss my opinions just because I liked reading something, that makes you the twat, and not me.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:18, Reply)

my grammatical errors, which i apologise for are mainly due to the fact that i operate a 'stealth mode' whilst posting here. being at work means it is necessary, therefore i have no time to check my posts fully. and for that i am truly sorry
however, my lithmus test regarding these shitty books has never, not once, let me down. most of the twats i have no choice but to communicate with, read them and LOVED them.
folk i previously did not know, who read them and LOVED them turned out to be glorious twats.
every
single
time
so, let's both stand beside our comments, for they help define us
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:35, Reply)

I won't be happy until you admit that you are a cunt. And are wrong. And are worse that Hitler.
Go on, admit it. ADMIT IT!
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:40, Reply)

backing down on the internet is easier than you think
give it a try, you might like it!
and yes, i am a cunt, to that i will freely admit...i would hazard a guess that 99.99% of b3tans are cunts, and very comfortable with it too!
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:46, Reply)

let's both be right
we can sit down together and you can read me your favourite bits from the hairy snotter books and i promise not too stab you in the throat
*crosses fingers behind back*
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I've also read pretty much everything by Marion Keyes, and a lot of stuff by Fiona Walker.
What's worse is that I actively disliked a lot of the Fiona Walker and Marion Keyes books, but I couldn't stop reading them.
Jilly Cooper though, she's fucking brilliant.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:10, Reply)

"he entered her like an otter diving into a stream"
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:13, Reply)

When you take them back because the pages are all crusty?
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:13, Reply)

There never has been, and never will be another writer as great as...
Roald Fucking Dahl
The man is a God!
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)

I imagine beckyletters did too as it was near high wycombe, although he may have been dead by then
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:22, Reply)

My Dad grew up in Great Missenden, met the guy loads of times.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:55, Reply)

thoroughly great bloke. one of the best really.
( , Wed 8 Jul 2009, 12:01, Reply)
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